It was a perfect day for an afternoon drive. Matt and I set out to find a wedding location in the picturesque valley amidst vineyards and rolling hills. The locations were mapped out, the gas tank full. Music played in the background while I spoke of wedding details I created in my head.
We’re going to take the scenic route, he said confidently with his deep voice. I nodded my head like a beatnik and shrugged my shoulders like a care-free hippy, Whatever you think, Love. I’m just going with the flow.
Forty minutes later I find myself gritting my teeth and biting my tongue like an etiquette teacher at a rave. The only thing I see is a two-lane road and nothing but the occasional weathered road sign. I tried my best to be the doting girlfriend who fully trusted her Knight in Shining Armor, but really, my inner control freak was twitching with anxiety.
Matt, I said as gently as possible, maybe we could stop and ask for directions. Or maybe we should turn around.
When we drove past the general store, I thrust my foot on the floor of the car in exasperation and yelled out, WHY didn’t you stop?!?! He explained that he looked up directions and we were going to be fine. I begged him to pull over at the fire station on route 74 and ask for directions.
To appease me he pulled the car over and walked over to a large wooden map near the fire station. He perched his hands on his hips and peered intently for three minutes. Then walked to the car with a smile. So, you know where we are, I asked eagerly.
No, he said confidently. But we’ll get there if we just continue driving.
I’m no expert on dating or relationships, so I’m not going to pretend to be Dr. Laura or Dr. Phil. But I will say this: I understand why the biblical analogy for Christ’s relationship with the Church is marriage. There is a letting go and dying to self in both relationships (1 Cor. 15:31, Romans 12:1).
Trust is like dying to your self-reliance. Trusting someone else removes the power of self from the equation of life. God will take us on adventures and we may not know the direction, but you know what? You’ll get to your destination. It may not be the route you expected to take, but maybe there’s a lesson to learn as you come over the proverbial hill in your life.
The car perched at the crest of the hill and we saw the valley below us, golden yellow and emerald green. He looked over at me and said, See, I knew we’d get here. We just had to keep driving.
Keep driving. Even when there are no road signs or maps. Your driver know where He’s going.
Wow, dang…I needed this today! Thanks, Yoda!
Yoda? Hahahahahahahahaha!
PS: Did you see how many typos I had?! Ugh. Slap me.
what a good post with incredible timing….going thru things that don't have signs or road maps….and pretty much failing at the trust part of it…sort of like …"I find myself gritting my teeth and biting my tongue " wanting to know what is going on and why…but my husband reassures that this is God's plan and trust Him….and James is also a help in the matter…so then I am encouraged (and your posts help me too….)
PS Seems like Matt is a pretty patient and understanding guy;)
I think that why God invented husbands and commanded them to love their wives as Christ loves the church!
Yes, Matt is a gem. He's so patient with me and love him to bits and pieces!!!
Our honeymoon was a road trip from DSM, Iowa to Mackinaw Island, Michigan and back through Green Bay, WI. I think I was OK with my new husband's driving because I literally slept over half the time we were in the car. Wedding planning, graduating from college, and moving all in 2 months had me exhausted. I don't know that I've been that relaxed in the car with him since then, but I do try to emulate that trust 3 years later!
Having me on a roadtrip is NOT fun. I can't believe you drove all those hours and didn't drive each other crazy 🙂 Congrats on 3 years of marriage… hopefully there's 100 more years to come.
I love this. Thank you for writing this!
You're very welcome!
Thanks for posting this : ) God simple way of reminding that even though things in life are not exactly taking the "direct route", but the "scenic route" He is the driver with the directions 🙂 WOW, the past few months have been intense, but brings me to Him the all the more………..have a blessed day and thanks for always being that open vessel 🙂
It's truly my pleasure!
slam dunk. like rondo! way to go, BB!
Rondo SCHMONDO! Lakers, baby. Don't MAKE me come regulate!
Girls… my husband left me. For the Lakers. 🙁 Yep… got on a plane and flew to L.A.
Bianca… this post makes me LAUGH. It doesn't get easier. 😉 HA!
I absolutely LOVE it…I needed the reminder today…He always knows where He is leading
Awesome 🙂 So glad we both can learn from it.
First of all great post. Like super great.
Second, I'm so impressed with Matt right now. Appeasing you by looking at the sign = 10 points. Making you a wedding website = 1238589476 points. 30 years was worth the wait, girlfriend!
So—-he doesn't comment on my blog, buuuuuuuut he's pretty darn fabulous.
Good things come to those who wait.
So… I just commented on the blog, but needed to comment on this comment! I hit 30 last fall and am (still) single. And am in this period of waiting (again). And I KNOW my husband is going to be worth the wait, but sometimes it's just nice to hear others (in the same place I am in life) remind me of that. So thanks. Like, a lot.
Mine doesn't EVER comment on my blog.
Wait…
He did on our 13th wedding anniversary. Seriously, he is SO SMART. That was better than diamonds. 😉
What what!!!! Matt commented on the blog. I'm dying. DYING.
Sabrina, I feel you on more level than one. Matt isn't perfect, but he's exactly what I need. I'm praying for someone amazing to rock your socks off!
Wow…that was a text based kick to my spiritual wedding tackle. Great post. Great.
Gracias mi amigo!
Bianca
Remember you give your Husband advise once and pray. If you tell him 2 or 3 times you become a nag and they don't listen anymore. Oh my dear this is only the beginning of your journey to becoming that perfect wife!!
Jackie, this is sage wisdom! But the only way I'll become the perfect wife is if I lose my voice. Forever.
You KNOW I have super opinionated! I'm going to drive Matthew insane if I don't figure out how to stop being a control freak. I'm just a big chicken that doesn't want to get lost on the road of life. Pray for me… as always 🙂
Oh girl… I don't tell my hubby this but I always figure in "getting lost time" when we need to go somewhere.. No lie! I have learned to keep silent and even if I know where to go, I sit there quietly, praying with my tongue bleeding, letting my man eventually getting us where we need to go..
Your right we always make it there, somehow, someway! Once I implemented the getting lost time, things became alot less frustrating!
I am the most impatient person you might meet. So it is sometimes a struggle to just keep driving and waiting on the Lord to get me where I need to go!
It's the "not knowing" part that kills me! I've got to figure out how to trust people.
Oh, how much I needed this reminder today…
I'm so glad, Emily! It's been the story of my life.
So, I am directionally challenged… at least that is what my mom calls me! lol I generally know where I am going and if there are detours ie I get lost, I have learned to look at it as an adventure! Now, this has not always been the case. My wonderful (really not so wonderful) control freak side used to get all bent out of shape when I would get lost. 🙂
Control freaks make good employees… but not good friends :/ I'm trying to find the balance 🙂
Ok, I LOVE my Hubby to pieces, but sometimes His driving…well drives me crazy! I even close my eyes when we are getting on the freeway and off!…
Directions………oooy! We were on Family Vacation in Pennsylvania, we went to Hershey Park. Any how, as typical, oops sorry, I love you honey!, HE went past the off ramp, the next off ramp was 50, yes 50 miles down the road and no way to turn back! We did not have GPS at the time, and had to rely on a map, instead of it taking us 2 hrs to return to my families home, it took us 5 yes 5 hours! we got home at 4 am, just in time to see my Uncle off to work!..Yes we had cell phones, but when your in the boon docks of Penn..you ain't got no service madam! and to find a pay phone, none to be found, I mean come on, back country road. We found a gas station, we could get gas, but the station was closed and the phone was locked up tight!…don't get me started on the bathroom thing!
I love him to pieces, He is my all in all, we just get ready for an adventure every time we take off somewhere…oh, by the way, I have a GPS now!
Bring a book, learn to relax and enjoy the ride, sometimes when we think were lost, were not, Life is an adventure, something new around every corner, some surprises, those are the times when games are made up and loving memories are made..slug bug anyone?
Love the post!
So… when things are all hunky dory for me I'm all about "life as a Christian is fabulous because it's so full of adventure because we never know where God is going to take us!" And the past six months have been nothing short of that adventure… but it's been a tough one. Between a breakup that lasted longer than the relationship to a new job to starting my own business on the side, it's been crazy. And while things are way better than they were two months ago, I still needed to hear that God is going to get me to my destination. And it will be OK! Thanks for the reminder of that today 🙂
Go Matt! Ye, of little faith 😉 (Kidding, I would have been DYING)
this is something I needed to read today! The idea of really trusting God that much and letting go my ideas/my control/my destination can be so difficult.
I'm laughing and crying. AT THE SAME TIME. This makes my day for so many reasons. I love you. And Matt. And how similar we are 🙂
Holy Cow B! Just let the Man BE THE MAN! Don't be that Last name hyphenated woman!
It's an innate quality all of us men have. An internal GPS if you will. You ladies have your "Woman's Intuition" right?
We have a special gene called the "Honey, I Love You dearly, but PLEASE STOP IT and let me drive without you being a passenger seat driver and stop simulating stepping on the breaks from the passenger side seat because I can see you doing that while simultaneously rolling your eye's for the millionth time!"
That's just how we're built… vis a vis WE'RE MEN!
WHAAAAAAT?! Jack commented? Woohoo!!!! You DO love me, Jack!!!!
I think your post was fabulous. Seriously, I love the male perspective. However, every once in a while it's ok to say you don't know where you are. Remember, my dear Trojan, you don't always know where you're going.
Love,
Bianca Juarez-Olthoff
love this….so honest about your inner (and outer) control freak. Don't we all have it….
Bulls eye! You got me… I needed this! I feel lost in a few areas of my life and find myself getting frustrated and nagging the Lord, "Are we there yet? Are you sure this is the right way? What about that path?" Umm, I'm glad the Lord is longsuffering and ever so kind, because I'm even annoying myself! 😉 And I'm telling you, trusting the Lord is not always the easiest but neither is leaning on my own understanding. I'm tryin' to practice more of the former but need lots of help! Pray for me and i'll pray for you! 😉
Wow!!!! This spoke to the depth of me in soo many ways…
…I am just gonna take this one in…
I SO needed to hear this for the 3rd time today. Thank you Lord for using people, like Bianca, as a road sign that points us in the right direction… back to you!
Hey Bianca!
Been there!!! Although my hubby loves asking for directions {not kidding!!} he still gets lost and have been in this same place lots of times 🙂 I think I have even been in the place of saying, "yeah, just keep driving I know exactly where we are…" 🙂 Anyways, thanks for helping me put a biblical twist on all this 🙂
No worries… I got this. I know exactly where we are! Promise…
Hope you found a nice place for your wedding.
Get used to the sweet hubby that refuses to ask for directions. I've been "going along for the ride" for 28 years … still no need for directions for my hubby. 🙂
Laurel
Sounds like a beautiful balance
Hi Bianca,
My name is Norma, and I had the chance to meet you a couple of months ago when I was invited to CCM by a friend of mine. It was just a quick hello, so I know you probably don't remember lol. But I rembember you speaking and I was blown away with the grace you have to speak. I remember you telling one of the girls about the granola syndrome, and when you explained it, I was like "WOW! This is soo true". On the way back home I remember telling my friend that I loved what you had said, and wouldn't stop thinking about it. She told me that what you had said was in one of your blogs, and so I've been reading them eversince.
I've never posted a comment before, but as I finished reading this particular blog I decided I would. This might sound absurd, since I don't really know you, but you have been a blessing to my life. God has given you this amazing gift of words and speech, and I wanted you to know that. I have been going through some hardships, and when you said that sometimes we are taken through a road we would rather not , but that through that trial or road there is a lesson to be learned. This had a lot of meaning to me, and I just wanted to thank you, and let you know that your blogs and your teachings have not just been a blessing to me, but I'm sure to many many others as well. Wow I wrote a lot! lol, sorry.
May God keep on blessing you,
-Norma
Loved this! So true but so easily forgotten. And I'm so glad to be catching up on your blog after being more than a few days/weeks behind!!! x
In a broken nest there are few whole eggs.
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