Before anyone gets out a red letter and sows it to my chest, I would like to make a case, state the issue, and let the jury decide. [Maybe it’s my inner forensic nerd coming out, but my secret dreams of being the District Attorney for Law & Order SVU are seeping into the blog today. Listen Olivia Benson, just do what I say and everything will be fine.]

THE CASE

With pop culture creating a prefabricated expectation of marital union, it’s important hold fast to what is good, true, beautiful, noble, and right [See Philippians 4:6 as article #1]. There has been a shift from the representation of love and marriage in media from the 1960s to today. Leave It Beaver and Dick Van Dyke portrayed families in traditional familiar structures and celebrated normalcy. The hearth of health was home and every evening or closing monologue ended with conflict being resolved with a smile and hug.

Fast forward to more modern reflections of family from the 90s to today [Rosanne, Married with Children, The Simpsons, Arrested Development, Malcom in the Middle, Family Guy] and you’ll see there is a shift in the depiction of family as well as the marital affection between parents.

If you think I’m going to bash pop culture or media, I’ll show you my TiVo shows, concert tickets, and shout MAZEL like we’re in the Bravo club house and you’ll realize where my affinity lies. However, I believe we—as intelligent, divinely created human beings—have the capacity to create and adhere to the beauty of love and commitment contrary to what is portrayed through movies, magazines, marketing, and media.

I believe we can display marital affection in a way that encourages and affirms healthy affection between spouses… even at church.

THE ISSUE

People, I’m a passionate woman who loves deeply and expresses affection through physical  touch and word. I made a vow to a man over three years ago to love and to cherish from this day forth. And I intend on keeping it.  I also happen to think he’s a ravishing piece of masculine flesh, so pardon me if I happen to sneak a kiss from him in broad daylight.

Public Displays of Affection [PDA] can be offensive to some and I do believe there should be a standard of what is acceptable [penal code 277 forbids public acts of hokey pokey, if you know what I mean]. But is there a ridiculous unstated standard on church property?

Example One: While at church a few weeks ago, I saw my husband at church and because it was a Sunday and he was serving all day, I didn’t get a chance to say good morning or goodbye as he left the house for work. I casually went up to him and kissed him—to which you might have assumed I jumped on his back and started humping his leg like a dog.

Obviously he was embarrassed that I enacted upon such a lewd act [oh you know, a kiss in public] and kinda laughed like Whoa-keep-it-down-cowgirl,-this-here-is-holy-ground kind of way [God bless his public Puritanical German ways]. To which I rolled my eyes and said, OH MY GOSH! It’s not like we’re David and Bathsheba’ing this moment. We’re married. We kiss. It’s fine. 

Maybe his reaction of warranted. I’ll let you decide.

Example 2: Last week while saying goodbye to Matt at church, I hugged him and gave him a slight pat on his backside. It wasn’t a grope or grab, but more like a Get-back-in-the-game love tap.

Apparently someone saw because a woman came up to me and asked if I grabbed my husband’s butt at church. I laughed a bit because I was nervous but explained that as an athlete and previous coach, I usually do that as a force of habit. She said that as a pastor’s wife, she expected more from me.

What I wanted to say:

  • Oh you expected more? Me too! I love that man and given the opportunity to suck on his face, I would’ve liked that. We’re married and it’s high time we start showing married people who actually LIKE being married. Maybe you should MAKE OUT with your husband so it’ll loosen you up, sister!

What I said:

  • Pastor’s wife? Oh, uh, yeah. I’m a pastor’s wife. Well, uh, we’re newly weds. 

THE JURY

Let’s get real: I’m still going to do my thang’ and publicly love my husband. In the words of of the Jersey Shore DJ Pauly D, You do you and I’m going to do me. But I’m also open to better addressing this issue.

PDAs are one thing, but if there is an unwritten rule about affection at church, will someone please let me know?

What’s the verdict? Where do people stand on this issue? Furthermore, is there a way to affirm marital affection in public without offending those from the Victorian era of puritanical virtues?

You decide. 😉

 

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