Then Delilah pouted, “How can you say you love me when you don’t confide in me?” —Judges 16:15
Some people are in debt. Others are on drugs. I—well—I like reality television. [We all have our vices. Put away your stones!]
Stumbling in at 9:00pm on Friday night from work, I clicked on the television to discover a spin-off reality show from the hit series, The Bachelor. The show is a weird hybrid of Survivor, The Bachelor, and Days of Our Lives in 47 minutes of prime time trash [and if I say it’s trash, you know it’s bad].
Note: If you think this post is about bashing reality television, you’re wrong. I love my Project Runway and all things Klum.
In a prototypical protrayal of women, a conniving female [think of a blend of Jezebel and Delilah reincarnate] manipulates a man to lie and tell other competitors he’s in love with her. Through tears and emotional arm tugs, she confesses her love for him [gross on so many levels] and manipulates him for immunity in exchange for affection, attention, and a loyalty to her.
Note: Here’s where I yell at my television screen and air-slap all stupid men.
Since the book of Judges, Delilah-esque women have been twirling proverbial locks of hair around their twisted fingers in attempts to manipulate their way to the top.
Manipulation is using entrusted knowledge of personal fears or weaknesses for personal gain. Manipulators will use all kinds of indirect tactics ranging from guilt trips to portraying themselves as innocent, suffering victims of various circumstances.
Note: When you meet a person like this, run in the opposite direction. You’re welcome.
All this got me thinking about modern manipulation and how we use it without even being aware we do. I’m afraid to ask Matthew if I’ve manipulated him recently. I’m planning a wedding, so I think I might know the answer š Please don’t leave me under the bus… I’m I the only Delilah out there?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to TiVo Project Runway.
Auf Wiedersehen,
Heidi Klum
Busted! you bachelor pad watching sistah you š {confession —-> i like all things Bachelor/Bachelorette/Hell's Kitchen/Project Runway too}
another reason i like you š LOL
I don't have to ask Jeff I know I have.
Through tears, arguments and the horrible silent treatment. But then there is that still small voice that convicts me. Which means I give in and I get over it.
Reality TV one of my favorites is Teen Mom on MTV
Whaaaaaaaat?! I love that you watch Teen Mom. That's so awesome! That show is like roadkill: I don't want to watch but I have to.
Okay I have that show tivo'd but only because of Tenly. She was my cousin's roommate. So I feel like we have a connection, ya know? š
Oh manipulation. I think sadly it is a part of almost every relationship… on both sides. 2 people who both want certain things. Me and Javi actually make deals sometimes. I don't think I manipulate him without his knowledge… maybe I should ask him.
I fell in love with project runway when it first came out…it's been hard not having cable:) ummm…i think there's been a lot of manipulation in our early days of marriage it think more from my hubby..(way unhealthy)…it's gotten a lot better….God has really put our marriage on the right path….
ughhhhhhh ( in a sad voice) that says yup… I am guilty of it š I need Jesus!
Well considering I'm not in a relationship I can't say I have manipulated a man however I have manipulated people before to get what I want (sad to say). Reality Tv is fun.. to a point and then it can just get bizarre! lol I like Teen Mom.. something about that show just sucks me in.. funny how mtv can do that, isn't it? Have a blessed day!!
Oh goodness! so guilty of the reality show trash watching…what's worse I've (manipulated) sucked the men in my family into my vortex of shame so's not to be judged too harshly by them… to hear my husband or son comment about how the new DC houswives got nothing on the Jersey drama, or they're not nearly as interesting as Bethany Getting Married…makes me hurt a little for them…but the way I see it…Thursday nights are family night on Bravo!! LOL!
Ugh. I saw your tweet and almost didn’t click to read. I’m soooo guilty of loving reality TV annnddd manipulating. Sounds like a hasty generalization, but I think most women do it. We don’t just manipulate men, though. We manipulate our girlfriends and anyone else who gets in our way. Yuckkk.
On a side note, is now a good time to tell you that Aurora signed me up for the Bachelor?!
GUILTY! i watch deadliest catch and hearders and forensic files and ghost adventures š (fear not! all those chanels on cable have been blocked) yay God!
i can now openly dmit i manipulated my hubby into marrying me… i told him that we had sinned against God and now needed to make things right. now e are both living with horrible circumbstances!
God has restored a major part of our trust in each other and is currently working on our marriage. He will restore if you truly repent! and he will also rescue you when you fall!!!
i'm not sure what i want to comment on first: manipulation or reality tv!!!!!
here are my thoughts in bullet point form (a personal fav).
a. i will openly admit to the reality that i LOVE keeping up with the K's, designing outfits based off project runway, loving/hating roses because of the bachelorette and spin offs and wanting to be jillian micheals in real life š
b. Tenly is from Oregon, i follow her on twitter and i also want the curls she had during Jake's season. š
c. i think it take a conscious effort and self control for girls to recognize manipulation and NOT manipulate their man!!!! goodness have i been there!!! sometimes it shows more obvious than others. If you are mentioning the certain girl we all think you are mentioning… "E" from bachelor pad and Jake's season of The Bachelor…. She is a class A example!!! oh my goodness!!!! I thought it was hard to watch when she was with Jake on the Bachelor… this new deal is a whole new gamete and game!!!! I was trying not to scream at the computer(hulu) watching it! However, with closer examination, i realized we women have manipulation inside all of us and i think it can stem from not trusting that our man will really love us and be committed to us…we find sneaky (creepy) ways to assure ourselves of his affection!!!!! We don't have to be "E" to be a manipulator. However, i think we need to be aware of the power we hold for good or evil when we hold captive someone's attention. We (men or women) have great power when it comes to affecting someone's life… especially if that someone is in anyway captivated by us. it's what we do with that power that matters.
d. you are not the only Delilah out here. It's a matter of recognizing that it's in us all and doing something about it!!!
e. engagement/wedding manipulation? no stones should be thrown by anyone!!!! LOL… this is the one time i think even i would condone the manipulation….not going to lie š
i think i definitely manipulate my husband…but in a totally different way. if he comes to me with something that i've done that has upset him (or whatever) i turn around and tell him it's basically his fault because he failed me in some way that caused me to then turn around and sin against him. so either way it's his fault. THAT IS HORRIBLE!!! sometimes it works. most of the time, i know exactly what i'm doing and i am so not proud of this. i need to repent to him and the Lord :(.
as for reality tv…we don't have tv. so i can't cast any stones other than to say i really can't stand reality tv (except that 16 & pregnant and teen moms on mtv – only seen it a couple of times but it is completely like a train wreck – so horrible you can't not watch it). however my favorite thing to watch is football…so cast your stones my way š
shuttit! i have the saaaame guilty pleasure! i'm the self-appointed co-president of khloe's fan club, i have a forum every monday night on my facebook page where we 'watch' the bachelor/ette together in real time, and brad and rachel are my pretend bff's.
but.
i could not get through the first episode of bachelor pad last week without turning it off. and i forgot about it last night. it seriously is the worst piece of trash i've ever seen. for all the reasons you suggest. seriously. it's horrible.
and i totally just forgot what your point was. oh! manipulation!
i think my *therapist* has called me out way too many times for me to still do it but i know i do, unfortunately. like…i'll accept responsibility…but not really. it's weird and i can't think of an example. but that's how i manipulate. not pretty and certainly not proud of that.
xo
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