It’s hard to be 23. I’m not a kid but I’m not considered an adult either. I’m most frustrated about the fact that I don’t feel like I’m the person that I should be. —Anonymous blog reader

Bar Mitzvah. Sweet Sixteen. Quinceanera. Circumcision. Every culture has significant rites of passage which signify crossing the threshold from childhood into adulthood. Whether there’s a Latin American spiritual presentation like in a quinceanera, or a Kenyan community event like a circumcision, the line of demarcation clearly grants someone access to sit at the adult table of life. Gone are the kiddy chairs and plastic plates, you’re an adult.

But modern Western culture doesn’t have clean transition lines and stepping stones in life. For this reason—and many others—adulthood in the West is idealized, unclear, and difficult to define for those stuck in the 18-30 age medium. Leading sociologists are determining that certain characteristics of adolescence are now extending late into people’s 20s and early 30s. One physiologist speculates that there now exists a new phase of life between 18-25, coined as emerging adulthood.

To simplify this for us all, I will refer to the great philosopher of our time—Britney Spears—and quote her saying, I’m not a girl. But not yet a woman. Not a child, not yet an adult, but something like a delayed junior high experience with bad clothes, no job, and living with your parents.

It’s okay to not have it all together and all figured out.  And it’s okay to be broken and it’s okay to ask for help. —Julie, blog reader

Growing up is scary in an economy where jobs are scare and culture is changing. In reading blog comments and having multiple discussions with men and women during the in-between season of life (post-college, pre-calling), I have a great amount of empathy. Though my life has dramatically changed in the last 16 months, I still feel like I’m not a real adult; like a toddler dressing up in high heels and lipstick, I look the part but fail in the delivery.

But my friend Kyle has encouraged me to fail gloriously. In doing so, it allows others to have the permission to do so as well. I’m not a theologian, psychologist, or sociologist, but I love learning about cultural trends and how they pertain to the church, our lives, and love.

The next two days we’ll take a look at how shifting culture perpetuates the Peter Pan syndrome (I don’t want to grow up), how the sexual revolution has made marriage and relationship difficult, and how we can act like adults even when we don’t feel like we are. According to a recent TIME magazine cover story, we can’t help it. It’s the ME ME ME Generation. 

Intermixed will be the questions some of you asked in previous posts. Thanks for your comments and sharing your fears. I’m right there with you!

Questions, comments, and/or clarifications are open for discussion. For those stuck in the emerging adulthood stage of life, it’s never too late to have a quinceanera! We Hispanics know how to throw a party!

Never too late for a Sweet 16,
Bianca 

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