The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother…. Discipline your son, and he will give you peace… Proverbs 29:15, 17
With children granted rights to divorce their parents and spanking “ruining a child’s self-esteem,” it’s no wonder children are growing up without reverence for adults or adherence to rules. I’m not advocating corporal punishment, but I am advocating for disciplining children; whether it timeouts, groundings, or for children like myself, spankings. Hard ones.
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad. Proverbs 29:17
I was a pretty playful (or some call naughty) child and I got a lot of spanking growing up. No regrets here, too, I turned out to be an obedient adult. 😀
I hardly ever spank my children, but once not too long ago, I spanked my tween age child and he turned around and told me that what I was doing was child abuse! I don't think I've ever spanked him since. But he is probably the only 14 year old now that has his cell phone (his lifeline) taken away from him regularly.
haha! Yes, my parents DID. NOT. PLAY! Especially my mama… and she still DOES. NOT. PLAY!!! hahaha Because of this, I definitely believe in discipline for children. I think I turned out great! hahaha
PREACH IT SISTA! Last week my 2yr old threw the remote on the floor. He stopped, looked at me, and walked over and placed himself in time out!
I spank…I time out and I remind them Who is watching…ha! I've witnessed too many children lately at my daughters' school and at stores being rude and disrespectful and it makes me sad. It's not only geared towards the parent but also towards others and it makes me wonder who runs that household. I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old…and though it's challenging because each child is at a different stage I take literally what the word says on discipline. Let us not forget that these children will become adults.
Amen Sista B! You said it all, no more words!
i'm with ya girl!
I'm right there with you on this! I was spanked and it worked out just fine with me! I learned after a while that spankings were not fun and obeying was much better in the end.
All my girls have been spanked!! One of them got spanked more that the others can you guess which one?
preach. they always say…that's why the booty has extra padding…God made is to take some paddles and spanking to drive the devil outta our lives.
I always preferred a spanking over being put in the corner. At least that way it was over with! Standing with your nose in the corner is So Boring! But it did teach me self-control. It didn't help that my mom was a bad spanker. Her wrath was better felt in a lecture that always began with "GIIIRLS" for me and my sister. You just wanted to melt into the ground.
I'm curious how you discipline your step-kids. Not that they could do any wrong 😉 I've seen the photos you've posted, ohmygosh, cuteness!
Yup – sure did not "spare the rod" this morning with Mary! After she tells me – "let's pray mommy, let's pray" (crying of course)! It breaks my heart but I know I'm doing my best to "train her up" .
She said that? Aww…that would break my hear too. 🙁
thank you jeanette for sharing that! its sooo important to teach our babies who to cry out to in good and bad! i will start doing the same. wonderful reminder
I'm so thankful my parents spanked me! Sounds crazy to say, but God knows what He's talking about. I can't imagine what I'd be if my parents didn't care enough about me to make sure I learned to do what was right!
I was also spanked. Once literaly with the rod (I did deserve it). I was yelled at. I was put in-to a corner. You name it. And I did have grudges but they were NOT because of corporal punishment. I very much disagree that spanking is a child abuse and think it is necessary in some cases.
My grudges were there because I felt like the objective sometimes wasn't as much a disciplining as the pouring out of the negative emotions caused by my behavior or choices. Basically, ocasionall name-calling or rage in her eyes and voice were the worst thing. It made her look week, it made me doubt her love and myself..bad cycle.
I did not object punishment when I deserved it, (and I KNEW when I did and did not).
The point is – first deal with your emotions and then discipline in love and justice and strength (emotional) not in anger and weakness. I know – easy for me to say being single and with no children… still physical and emotional punishment is different from physical and emotional abuse..
For me it was the wooden spoon growing up and my mother would even carry it in her purse. 🙁 I know for a fact when we do have kids Andres will not be spoiling the child.
I was a pretty good kid so I gave my parents little reason to lay down the law of the hand…but on occassions when I got out of line I got a spanking – or once when I threw a fit my mom stuck me in the shower with my clothes on and turned on the cold water….I never, ever, ever threw a fit again. Im actually thankful my parents disciplined me, as I grew I knew they did it because they loved me and cared for me.
Today it's my turn to be the parent and play the roll of enforcer and it sometimes breaks my heart to have to correct my daughter but I know I do it out of love because I don't want her acting out like some wildchild in her teens with no respect for herself or grown ups. My daughter has a very strong character and is outspoken which I encourage her to do yet at the proper time and with reason….so on occasion her mouth sometimes goes off and ….then my hand has to go off toward her behind. I do not enjoy doing it but I know I have to. If a parent does not discipline their child how will they know right from wrong and know they are loved?
"Te voy a dar un howi-aso" translation…"I'm going to hit you with a Hot Wheel track!!" Ouch, but well deserved, my mom had 4 boys to take care of (at least 2 in diapers at a time) and I don't think there was a day that one of us wasn't fighting. I can still here the sound of my dad's belt going thru the belt loops before hitting us with it…and don't you dare contest your dad while he's hitting, cuz it's what Richard Pryor says every word is an extra hit while he's hitting you…"how many times have…." It's always funny recounting those times NOW that I'm an adult. One just has to look at the state of our popular culture to get a gauge on whether were better off for "sparing the rod."
Just to make clear – I do not consider I was ever physically abused though I was spanked, but I am not so sure about emotional abuse (all the angry yelling).. And at this point I know that my mom did and does love me and always wanted only the best for me. But it is at this point… and there are some things to work through still. Ofcourse I love her too.
i want the best for my son, and i believe that God gave me my son to raise him in Gods way so if it means giving a nice hard spanking here and there then so be it! My son always knows that I love him and that my job as his mom is to raise a man of God and that God has given me that authority but of course all in love<3
It is important to explain to a child why he or she is being disciplines and to remind them that you love them and do it for their benefit. The Bible also tells us that if we don't discipline our children when they are young it will be much harder when they are older.
Proverbs 26:3 "A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools."
Proverbs 5:23 "For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly."
Deuteronomy 8:5 " Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you."
Being a former first grade teacher turned high school teacher, I truly believe that many of the kids today are behaviorally getting worse and worse. No manners, no boundries, and just plain spoiled. They control their households and their own parents are scared of them. I hate to give advice because I'm not a parent yet, but having 26 kids in a class I have to say this… kids strive on discipline and structure. I have had students mad at me because I was "mean" to them, and "mean" is taking away their recesses or whatever…. but if it's for their own good… then so be it.
As far as spanking goes… I was spanked and it was always well-deserved. I'll tell you, being a HS teacher who gets cussed at, disrespected on a daily, and just put down, I REALLY think that parents need to stand up to their kids and give them more structure… BUT easier said than done and I wish I had a better answer… all I can do is pray before each day starts.
This was my dad's favorite scripture and it taught me a lot of reverence but i feel it lacked affirmation and love after the spankings, we would be terrified when my mom would say, wait until your father comes home.
I have three children. I am a Pastors wife. And while I dont completely disagree with spanking it is not something we do in our house. Its not needed here. Timeouts and explanations of what is expected and not expected and appropriate groundings work swimingly here. My children are well behaved and well mannered at home and in the company of other people. Again, while I dont disagree with spanking. I do tend to feel that Christians tend to OVER use this scripture. Sometimes spankings are not appropriate. If you have a method of dealing with a child that do not involve spanking and it is effective. Use it. The lack of the rod is not what spoils a child. It's the lack of accountablitly that the parent expects of the child. Unfortunately, we live in lazy society all around. And also lazy parenting has grown leaps in bounds. Running to rod wont fix everything all the time. I say this with love…. And again I dont disagree just trying to offer up maybe a different… Christian opinion.
Could not agree with E Diddy more. There very well may be a time and place for spankings (like in the case of immediate danger, i.e. child runs into the street), but they are NOT the only form of effective (or Biblical) discipline.
Children are very, very intelligent. They CAN learn to behave without being hit. What I have found is that spanking is "easier" for the parent. It's immediate. (And, if one is honest, it provides some immediate "satisfaction" for the parent, who is frustrated w/ the behavior of the child.) Other forms of discipline take MORE time, MORE self-control, and MORE consistency. At least in my case, I find them to be much harder than smacking a backside when a child steps out of line. It takes a lot of thought, follow-through, conversation, etc. to use other methods. It's tiring. It's hard to be consistent.
(cont'd)
I think there are SO many situations (maybe most?) where spankings are simply NOT necessary, but become the method of choice b/c they're "easy." I think E Diddy hit the nail on the head … we are becoming a lazy society, and it is reflected in our parenting. I also agree w/ her that the "spare the rod" scriptures are overused. Besides, they can be interpreted differently … does it HAVE to mean physical punishment, or is it simply referring to consistent discipline? I favor the latter. For me, I will ALWAYS lean towards a non-physical/non-violent approach, and work harder as a parent if that's what it takes to make it work effectively.
(Sorry to add even more, but I wanted to clarify something so it isn't misinterpreted …)
I don't mean to sound as if I'm saying parents who spank are lazy. (Though I think it is overused in many cases out of laziness.) I think many parents, especially Christian parents, are using spanking as their main form of discipline b/c they believe it is what the Bible teaches. They hear it from the pulpit, they hear it at parenting seminars and conferences, they read it in Christian parenting books. The Scriptures Bianca quoted are used over and over and over … and almost ALWAYS linked with spanking as the "acceptable/Biblical" form of disciplines … until the Christian parent believes this is the only (and right) way.
I'm simply suggesting that there are (many) other options … that CAN be just as effective, if not more, when used consistently and appropriately. But they are options that take MUCH time and effort on the part of the parent.
Amen! I'm raising my two children with the same philosophy as your parents did with you. My parents did it and we – my sisters and I – are better because of the training and disciplining. I always keep this verse in my head during the day, "Train up the child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it," as a reminder that my children are our – my husband and I – greatest legacy. Keep preachin' it!
Reading this post is funny, because I recognized the picture from a source I used this week in my job. I'm not going to get into the whole debate because I can talk forward. But I just want to shine a spotlight on the difference between punishment and discipline. Punishment is fear. Discipline is teaching and guiding. Now, don't get my wrong, I was spanked as a child and I'm fine, but I don't think I will spank my children. Because as a member of a family that took in foster children, you recognize that there is a different way to teach and guide. The most important part of parenting is empathy. That's it. Be firm. Maintain your authority as an adult. But listen to your child. Their behaviour will tell you more than you realize and that means looking INTO the behaviour and not just at it. They are children. They have no experience. Their behaviour stems from that lack of experience. Teach them that something is wrong and why it's wrong instead of teaching them that it's wrong because you will get spanked or put into a time out. Empathy. Empathy. Empathy.
and of course, when I say talk forward, I mean forever… and me instead of my
My teenager was just recently grounded and we took away his cell phone. You would think his friend had died. My son said the same thing to when I used to spank him. Now I just take away Internet and the cell phone and that seems to do the trick and even better.
Spank 'em all. I remember as a kid that it wasn't just my mother, but aunts and uncles who would fire you up if a kid got out of line. I beleive in spanking, but every kid is different based o ntheir age and personaility. As a kid a spanking hurt less than not being able to play outside. I would have much rather had a spanking than be stuck in the house for a week or two.
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