Let us not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless when facing them. —Rabindranath Tagore
Doing hard things is just that: hard. Often times excuses are made to defer or deter action, but the core difficulty in our choice is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of proving your fears right.
I excuse and retard my development under the guise of perfectionism. But perfectionism is simply an excuse for my fear. If I truly was a perfectionist I’d fold my underwear before putting them in the drawer. Honestly, Matt’s happy when they even make it IN the drawer. I’m not a perfectionist. I’m fearful.
Fearless people are merely fear-less. It is people who act in spite of their fear who are truly brave.
What’s your hard thing? What’s the thing you are afraid of? What’s the one limitation stopping you? Now, stand fear-less knowing the worst that can happen really isn’t that bad.
So well said, Bianca. Not perfectionist, just fearful. So true – I loved meeting you in real life and talking across the table with warm cups and warm hearts. I'm excited for you and what is to come in the weeks and months ahead. (Now, get to writing, girl!)
Um, this is PROOF I'm not ready to write: three grammatical errors in a 100 word blog post?! Awesome. Just awesome.
My fear: having amazing bloggers realize I kan't spel or right good words.
The honor was all mine. I can't stop thinking about you and Annie. Thanks for your amazing insight. Much love!
For me it is a control thing. Taking the leap, letting go of the reigns, putting it out there for others to interpret is just too much sometimes. Even when I know it's what is right and that God has got me in his grip, sometimes it's too much.
ditto.
I'm fearful of losing someone I love. When I lost a family member last year it sent my body into overdrive and my physical health wasn't the same for many months after. I know God would bring me through it….there's always a BUT….BUT I don't know that my heart would endure and I don't know how my body would physically take it.
I thought I was a perfectionist until I realized it was a lack of giving grace to myself, not aiming for perfectionism, but not being forgiving when I made a mistake etc…since realizing that and exercising giving myself grace, I don't feel quite so guilty if I don't get the carpet vacuumed before Bible study guests come or if I don't have all the dishes done when hubby gets home. It's free-ing! (There, I misspelled a word so you don't feel so bad;) )
well, i think a lot of my fear is how people will perceive me…faiure? hypocrite? crazy? pathetic? lame? Yes I care too much about what people think, so I stress about accomodating people, keeping everything low key, no conflict, and practical…i am not sure why..low self-esteem? definitely. pleasing or at least attempting to get my parents approval? yes, but have definitely failed in this area. try to be cool? as dumb as that is? yes, aren't i too old to be caring about that? people might think i don't walk the walk enuf to be talking the talk? YES. anyway, the list could go on and on…even as i write this, i worried people might be thinking i am lame…but, that is my answer:)
Oh fear…I am not sure when it crept in and started sucking the life out of me, but I wish I could go back to that day and put up a better fight. But I suppose if you live enough life at some point your realize, life is scary, unknowns are scary, loosing things we love is scary. I spend a lot time trying to not be afraid or just get over it, instead of trusting that I can actually walk through it..or crawl, depending on the day 🙂
My fear.. this goes perfect with the other blog I just read about telling my story written by a friend of yours. My fear is the continual rejection by believers when they hear my story. My life story and my story of redemption. I know God is preparing my heart to tell my story and I can.. boldly tell my story to unbelievers.. but believers?? Been there… done that… and have been rejected over and over. How am I rejected? I am judged, they look down at me and eventually.. stop talking to me.. So that’s my fear Bianca…
Oh that's awesome, Bianca!!!! LOVE this post! You are such an amazing woman of God and I'm thankful that I get to read your blog and hear your insights as you follow Christ! 🙂 Stay blessed!
Great post this morning, Bianca! Planning a wedding is something, I'm embarrassed to honestly say I'm terrified of…. making choices I only get to make once, finding a place that will forever be the place I got married, spending an obscene amount of money on this one day… all of which is enough to scare anyone into eloping. Haha. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I suppose it would be more accurate, in this instance, to say I'm more fearful of not making it perfect. I'm hoping perfect will come through and body slam fear to the ground. 😉 Thanks for the encouragement!
My hard thing…is fear in general, with even more fear attached to "possible" health issues and their implications (either dropping dead or dying of a long unpleasant disease or being prevented from doing things that are really important to me). I have always been healthy, but I am quite sure parental influence (e.g., mom's own fears) and my temperament have created an ongoing cycle of constant wondering about various random physical signs and symptoms. I believe Satan uses this fear for sure, as things tend to come up around other important events – either times like Christmas and vacation when it would be great to focus on relationships and enjoying God's earth and blessings and so on…but the physical worries distract, distract, distract – the recurring pains, the palpitations, the change in a mole…all that and more. We have been trying to adopt for 3 years, and are being considered for a potential match at the moment. And I have just undergone monitoring for palpitations which surfaced in the past month. Waiting for results, and concerned that something might show up which would interrupt our adoption process and/or result in having a condition that could be with me forever. I have trouble being excited about our adoption (or other future events), because I keep thinking something (usually health-related) will stop it. And during "happy" times, I get a nagging sense of foreboding that maybe this is the last "gift" of a good time before the catastrophe happens. And…I try the self-talk, the prayer, the Bible study (I practiced in mental health for 11 years – I understand it all…but that "what if" can really get me again and again). Trying to "fix my eyes" to keep from sinking is a constant battle, and I feel that the "issues" may just keep happening because I suspect this is how I am meant to learn how to live despite uncertainty, accepting/experiencing/receiving joy and confidence in the knowledge and comfort of God's sovereignty (which is a scary truth I also need to grasp and accept wholeheartedly). I just hope I "get it' sooner rather than later…
My fear is what people will say and think about me. 🙁
Aww, perfect timing for this blog you've written. Fear of failure! Who want's to fail? But in the end is it really failure or some unknown discovery? Unless you take that risk & go for it, fear will always limit you & keep you from some great things in life.
Just last night, I broke through that fear & took a risk. My daughter was trying out for the Christmas Choir at church & at the last minute I figured, I'm gonna be here at all the practices so I'll just try out too. To sing in front of someone solo was nerve wrecking, then the fear of rejection of course came to mind. However I was courageous & took the risk & I made the choir!! Whoo~hoo YEA Me! My daughter did too, Yea Savannah 🙂 It was a wonderful experience cause it also showed my daughter a great example from me on how to take risks & be FEAR LESS!
So, for this experience It turned out not to be failure, but a new discover. A discovery I wouldn't have known If I hadn't become FEAR LESS last night.
Who knows? I just might be the next American Idol LOL
Eliminate perfection & replace it with EXCELLENCE!
God Bless you Bianca, Your awesome 🙂 Continue being FEAR LESS in EXCELLENCE!!
~ Raylene ~
Thanks for writing this post. I'm afraid of more things than I'd like to admit. Fear cripples me. I tend not to try new things because I'm afraid of being really bad at things everyone else is naturally good at.
My cells are completely saturated with my fear of failure! I'm afraid that if I try to pursue my dream of becoming a real(!) writer(!), I'll find out I'm really not that good. Or that I don't have anything interesting to say. You should hear the voices in my head! (They're loud–very loud.) Rejection sucks. Having people say, "Ehh, you're not that great" is even worse.
But these are lies. (LIES!)
Thanks for reminding me that fear shouldn't own me.
My fear is failure, and people thinking, "Why did she think she can do that?" I sing in our praise team at church at a Tuesday night service, but that's about as far as I've gotten. I would love to lead worship, whether it was by myself or with a group or band. I just love to praise the Lord in song. But, my fear is that people will think I have no business being up there! And I have no idea where to even start to be able to do that, so I use that as an excuse.
Confrontation. Not necessarily about what people will think of me, but actually getting it out there and knowing it may change how they feel towards me. Like with my new job. Less than 2 months now, and well, I'm about 4 1/2 months pregnant with #2. It's at a school so I am worried about how they will react because obviously, I'm gonna be busy at the end of April and will not be able to do my job. I honestly know God will take care of me and everything will work out the way it is supposed to. With my job the way it's been the last 5 years, I'm ok with that. It's the approaching the whole situation and having it all crash down around me. And then, there's the whole, letting my husband down when he counts on me for help with our finances! Praying! Praying! as always.
Thanks for the post.
It's painfully honest but totally true. It's eye opening and challenging at the same time. Perfection it's something I have been battling with also and I've become very good at hiding that behind this "perfectionism" tag there's a big fear, well, many fears actually. I could write a list of things I'm afraid to but the ones that stop me from giving my big step into my dream is fear of failure, fear of people not liking my job, fear of under delivering to my future clients. Also fear of people not liking me enough to hire me.
The incredible part if that In the midst of these fears God has been there walking with me through to step over these fears and has been giving me the confidence He knows I need to open up my photography blog and sharing what He made me to do for HIM. 😀
Thank you Bianca for writing this post! For telling the truth in love and for giving me that little push I needed to trust God with ALL my heart <3!!! xoxo
so true fear is a crazy thing that we let rule our lives sometimes!!! have you read Cheryl Brodersons book When a Woman Lets Go of Her Fears it's soooo… good and def helps recognize fear and it's power in my life
"But perfectionism is simply an excuse for my fear." Wow, girl, that is powerful! I struggle with fear of letting others down and being insecure. And, now that I think of it, I use perfectionism to guard against both. Okay, I think I'll go have a chat with Jesus about that this morning! Thank you!!
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