Mothers have an odd way of pressuring their children to do things they don’t want to do. You know, clean their room, floss their teeth, talk about modesty. You know, the usual stuff. My mother is the Queen of Guilt Trips. If she wasn’t so darn cute about it, I’d be angry with her and her master coercion tactics.

Mom: Bianca, have you commented back to the sweet young girl who left a question on your blog?
Me: Well, um—I wanted to say… uh, you see, the point is… no, I haven’t.
Mom: You really should, B. She was asking you about modesty. I think this is a great opportunity to share with her.
Me: She asked why I wore that black dress for my engagement pictures, mom! I don’t know how to respond without sounding like I’m mad. Or hurt. Or like I’m confessing my trespasses to the Council of Legalistic Fashionistas. I wasn’t trying to be immodest, it was the bra! And I didn’t have money and the dress was on sale and it was the right size and Matt loved it and—
Mom: Bianca! I did not raise children to shy away from the Truth. Please do me a favor and respond.
Me: But mom— but… Oh, alright!

The Queen of Guilt Trips wins again.

I—in no way, shape, or form—claim to own the corner of the market when it comes to modesty. I feel like the women who wear gray turtleneck sweaters and denim ankle skirts should talk about it, not me. But considering I work in a Christian environment and live in an urban metropolis, maybe it’s something I should address. Cautiously.

What would Jesus’ girlfriend wear? Seriously. I don’t want to be heretical, I want to be humorous. I don’t want to sacrilegious, I want to be sanguine when approaching this topic. So if Jesus’ girlfriend* and I made guidelines [not rules] about modesty, I think it would go a little something like this…

MODESTY MANIFESTO
Keep the treasure chest and the pirate’s booty covered, if you know what I’m sayin’…
Modesty is more than what you wear; it’s an attitude. Even under a burqa, your actions can prove to be immodest.
Rules about how long dresses have to be or high shirts have to be need to be tempered with the condition of the heart.
Church, as a place of holy worship, should be a place where we are most modest. Nothing should take attention away from worshipping God… especially junk in the truck!
Modesty doesn’t equal bad fashion. Stop using that as an excuse.
If your pastor, father, and brother say you look like a hoochie, change your outfit. You probably do.
Be aware of the cultural standards of modesty, but adhere to your personal convictions and spiritual intuition.
Allow grace in others who make a modesty mistake. No one is perfect.
Be a real friend and help others maintain modesty while cultivating creative, fashionable choices.

[Note: I’m using Jesus’ girlfriend as the barometer because the Amish woman in a black buggy and the nude woman on a beach in the south of France would give two DIFFERENT views on modesty.]