We sat in folding chairs as the room emptied out. Her story was tragic and broken and gut wrenching, like so many women today. Absentee father, addictions, a financial cycle from wealth to poverty to wealth to poverty. We went from one story to the next about her loss, her sadness, her pain. The despair she felt was palpating, the desperation physical, and the sadness exhausting.
The Blame Game included players like her mother, her father, herself, ex-boyfriend, herself, God, herself. Every time a new card was played I watched her spin out of control, grasping for anything as her defense. After rounds and rounds of this proverbial game, I asked her a simple question:
What do you want?
She began to tell me about her struggles and addictions and sickness and then I stopped her. I had to stop her.
What do you want?
The stories continued—valid as they were—but I refused to continue the cycle.
What do you want?
My cards were shown and the game was over. We needed to cash out some truth. Yes, there were horrible things done to her. And yes, she made horrible decisions. And yes, right now life is difficult.
But what do you want?
We can’t clearly go where we are called to go and be who we are called to be if we look back at our past. Lot’s wife tried to do it and she turned into a salty and bitter woman [da dum ching!]. The man at the pool of Bethesda waited for a healing for 38 years when he was so close to healing waters. The children of Israel would’ve found the Promise Land had they not been whining and crying about the land they wanted to return to.
Sometimes we’re so close to a healing, but we constantly look at our past as either a weight or a want, rather than focusing at our future as our hope and our promise.
Once my new friend verbally expressed what she wanted, I asked her to repeat it. Once we know what we want, we then can come to God’s throne of mercy and grace and ask for favor. She wasn’t asking for wealth or vanity, she wanted healing and wholeness.
Once we knew what she wanted her future to look like, we asked God to do the miraculous in her life. We sought the God Of The Impossible to do a healing work in her life, to deliver her from her past, and give her a vision for her future.
Stop playing the Blame Game, walking backwards, and spinning out of control. What do you want? Ask God to meet you where you are.
So I have to ask, what do YOU want?
Thank you B. I needed this.
You’re welcome. Praying for you!
whoa! my hubby and i just had a convo about this last night, what i wanted and how best to take advantage of this opportunity that i have right now… and quite literally, my blog post today was on that very conversation and not looking back to the past! great word Bianca! you rock;)
God is good. He knows all things. I’m just lucky to play a small piece of the puzzle 😉
Words are not enough to thank you! I took a picture of the WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO…and it is now on my phone as the background! Definitely need prayer!
WOOHOO! Love it 🙂
I want to see instead of being consumed with a need to be seen.
Right on, Bianca!
R-E-S-P-E-C-T! lol seriously. I don’t like the negativity that surrounds certain people due to stigmas created by society. I want people to understand each other and stop judging unfairly and making big decisions that affect the judged, decisions that are based off of false evidence born out of ignorance.
Maybe that’s asking too much.
I terribly needed to read this. Perfect timing.
Bianca,
Each and every one of your blog post touches me, but this did so much. Thank you for what you do and how you serve the Lord with this blog.
Love this!
Life and death are in the power of the tongue!
LOVE this post!!! I’ve asked myself this question a lot… but never really answered it… that changes tonight! 🙂 thank you B for letting God use you to help others, myself included of course!!! 😉 xo,dana
Loved this! Can’t “drive” through life constantly looking in the rear view mirror – have to look through the windshield! Yes, occasionally GLANCE in the rearview mirror to see what I’ve come through and make sure I don’t repeat the same mistakes. btw: Sat. nite at retreat was awsome! <3 U!!
“We can’t clearly go where we are called to go and be who we are called to be if we look back at our past. ”
I want to Stop looking back.
Stop placing blame on everything/one else.
Stop Making excuses.
Live wholly, unashamed, unafraid for God.
OMG!!!
We are totally twins too 🙂
You should read my post from yesterday. http://nakeia.blogspot.com
I wrote about people not getting what they want simply because they don’t know what they want.
Thanks for the confirmation.