Matthew,
When days turn into nights and weeks turn into months, some things remain the same. My fierce frustration and my fierce love temper moments when I feel like I’m going insane because I said I do to a man much different than myself. The structure was too tight, the order was too stifling, the commitment to love you until my very last breath too impossible.
But then—in those hard moments of pain—you challenge me to hold on to what we know to be true. That’s your phrase, you know that? What do you know to be true, you ask me when work is too hard, when money is too thin, when life is too transparent. Deep inside I want to scream and run inside my closet where I’m alone and it’s dark and I can pretend that the monsters outside of the closet are worse than the one crying on the floor of the closet. But I can’t. You won’t let me.
So today, two years after I vowed to be your wife, I know this to be true…
When life seems too hard, too much, too unbearable, there is a God
When I’m confused and alone and need the arms of God to envelope me, I have you
When the light at the end of the tunnel is nothing more than a speck, you create a sky light
When walking on ledge, debating to jump, you beckon me down and assuredly promise we’re going to be great
When budgets taunt me and bank accounts constrain me, you remind me of freedom and responsibility
When calling is clouded and doubt circle like vultures waiting for spoil, you breath life into my dreams
When I’m angry with you, resent your every being, you manage to make me love you again
When you fail me, hurt me, and pain me, I know you’re human
When humanity is all we have, I hold onto the only other human to swore to love me until death
Two years ago today, I promised to love you, to keep you, to take your home as my home, your children as my children, your bed as my bed. And this I know to be to true: Today I still keep those words, to that vow. I love you… until my very last breath.
We’ve remained faithful and in love for 730 days. Let’s make it 9,243,781 more days into nights and weeks into months.
Happy anniversary, Matthew. I love you.
So this was the day you had booked a speaking engagement? And then you had an ‘accident’? While Matt was out of town (perfect alibi?) Suddenly everything makes sense!
(ps: Happy Anniversary!)
(pps: you two give me hope that true love really exists and it can make people work to keep it)
Yes, true love exists but work makes it last! 😉
PS I’m not speaking tonight because of my injury. So there! 😉
Exactly! Just like he planned it!!! I have so much respect for him!
Heres to many more! Happy anniversary! XOXOX
I *was* going to cheat on my “lifestyle change,” but I think I’m going to stick with salmon and salad for my big day meal. I watched my wedding video and now I’m determined to be a FaithFoodFitness spokesperson 🙂
Tears!! Simply Beautiful B!!! Happy Anniversary beautiful lady to you and your beloved, Matthew!
Here is to 9,243,781 more days into nights and weeks into months!!!
Awww thank you, Lizzy Liz! Miss you bunches 🙂
Happy Anniversary Bianca! My husband and I celebrate 14 years…There is nothing more rewarding than to look back at all the good, bad and ugly and know that our marriage has not only survived but thrived through it all…
That’s my goal… to look back and feel like even through the rough patches, we still love each other. Congrats on 5,110 days of marital fidelity.
Such great words Bianca! Beautiful I love your honestly and the love you have for your husband… shows there is still hope for the rest of us! 🙂
Wish you many many more years of happiness!!!!
I wish love and happiness to you too, Ashley Nicole! 😉
Bianca! This is so beautiful! Thanks for sharing! Happy Anniversary 😉
aww man. where are the unicorns and glitter in this story?! you are scaring me!!
love you. (and matt!)
There are those moments too, but sometimes glitter blinds us from the truth. So I’m speaking truth with how amazing rewarding yet stretching marriage is. 😉 Don’t be scuuuurrred! It’s awesome.
Hey Bianca:
I sighed when I read this…
Sighed in happiness for you and Matthew. You are blessed, and challenged. That`s definitely from God.
Sighed for me in my singleness. For knowing singleness is where I`m meant to be right now. But oh the ache to have what you have..
Happy Anniversary to both of you . Have a great day…. 😀
Happy anniversary, Bianca & Matt! I am so happy to hear about your continued healing!
Thanks for making me cry at work.
xxo LOVE IT! Love you!
Happy Anniversary beautiful woman.
I love your blogs. You’re just so real! You don’t make it seem like its rainbows and butterflies. I really enjoy your blogs.
Wish you the best anniversary!!!
Bianca-you wrote what I’ve always been afraid to say outloud. Happy anniversary
Congrats & many more blessings to shower your way.
I was listening to this song – it’s off of Lecrae’s new album- and i thought of my marriage. It’s not romantic but it’s real.. sounds like you have moments when you need this song too. = )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42AVLi4JIwk
This song. = )
Beautiful. Truth. AMEN to what Matt says “What do you know to be true”.
Believe that you are a better woman today because of Matt. Believe that Matt is a better man today because of you! Continue to be better versions of yourselves for God’s glory and your happiness!!
Happy Anniversary, sweet friend!
Mama D. 🙂
Happy Anniversary to you two! I don’t know you personally, but you inspire me. Wow! It has been two years already. Time really flies. Happy Anniversary and many MANY more of our Lord’s blessings! Hope you’re healing well!!
Beautiful. Truth. AMEN to what Matt says “What do you know to be true”.
Believe that you are a better woman today because of Matt. Believe that Matt is a better man today because of you! Continue to be better versions of yourselves for God’s glory and your happiness!!
So Beautiful!!! Happy Anniversary. Wish you many blessings!!
As I sat in my living room today, the question that I have been pondering for some time now was like a glaring bright light first thing in the morning, and I couldnt take it anymore. I needed an answer. How do I raise God fearing children in this world today. When I looked this up, I found your blog, and your topic on Katey Perry’s movie. I sat astonished as I read all of the commentaries. That I was not the only one wondering this, and that I could hear God so clearly through a blog nonetheless. As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, I first want to say Thank you! Thank you for following Christ and being obedient to Gods plan and move in your life. I then came upon your new page here, and watched your video and I have to say what a life changing moment I have just had. You see I did not grow up seeing the love of Christ, but the legalistic side. So when I saw that I was doing the same thing to my children, i realized that this might not turn out so well and that although Christ was able to find his way back into my life despite what I had seen or heard, my children have a much harder sea of life to wade through. I desire to be the type of parent who they can know without a shadow of a doubt knows, lives, breaths God. But I realize that without knowing his love and mercy they would not appreciate him, thus causing them to seek what seems to be the rosier side of life.
Thank you woman of God for your words of inspiration. I claim healing over your hand, every tendon, ligament and skin cell to fall back in line so that you may continue to touch millions of lives through this blog and many other venues. Thank you, Thank you, God Bless you and Happy Anniversary.
Beautiful! – Happy Anniversary!! God bless you both until your very last breath.
Dear Bianca
Happy Anniversary to you both!
Thank you for speaking the truth and being honest in all you have written. Oh How I love your blogs and writings because you keep it so REAL and not fake it….
God bless you richly and may he increase in number Christians like you, who always keep it real!!
Huggeronies
Herta
You are blessed 🙂 happy anniversary!
Beautiful post! I agree with others…gives us singles hope. Happy “Belated” Anniversary!!!