Three years ago I sat at my desk and had a moment. Oh, yooooou know the moment. The moment you begin to question everything in life! Physical manifestations might include banging your head into your keyboard on the desk, repeatedly slapping your forehead with the palm of your hand, or crying uncontrollably. The moment when you’re emotionally on a ledge and the more questions you ask of yourself the closer you are to falling off.
For example,
- What am I doing with my life?!
- Why am I here at this job?!
- Does my life matter?!
- Why are my thighs so big? [Okay, so maybe not this question, but three out of four at the very least.]
There are factors that push me to play harder [first born, first generation American, first to go to college], but I can safely assume the questioning of calling and purpose and vocation has plagued everyone in different seasons of their life. Questioning is one thing, but moving forward and taking action is another.
Photo by Jasmine*
I’m in a different season of life today, but I’m still asking questions. And yes, having moments. But now I want to ask questions that draw in other people from other stations in life to bring us closer to taking action steps.
I invited a group of women to my house to discuss ministry, life, and calling. I made dinner, lit some candles, and asked questions to begin a dialogue about why people between the ages of 18-35 are missing in the church. Specifically, why are they missing from gender specific events or ministries within church.
I asked if they could describe their view of women’s ministry in one word, what would it be? If there was one word they would want to describe women’s ministry, what would it be?
Wow. I got honest answers. The number one thing I walked away with that every. single. woman. wanted to be in relation with other women, but didn’t know how to 1. ask, 2. make time, or 3. how to make it happen.
I still want to compile data. I want to know your story. Who you are and why you are the way you are. If you are outside of the 18-35, please don’t remain silent. Pour into the next generation with the wisdom you acquired.
- Are you involved in church? Why or why not?
- Do you feel like you are living out the gospel?
- In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry?
- In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry?
- Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]?
- Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you?
Feel free to answer one or all of the questions. Please don’t remain silent. For the love of God, help strengthen the Church. 🙂
* Are you involved in church? Why or why not? Yes. I have to be…PK.
* Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? Mostly, yes. Though, my view of how the gospel needs to be lived out differs from those in my 'group'.
* In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? geared towards moms
* In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? emboldening
* Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? No.
* Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? Yes! I want a mentor who will push me to better myself, encourage me to pursue God and my passions, and hold me to a high standard of holiness.
your house looks GORGEOUS! love the coffee table!
Demographics: I'm 35. Sort of the tail end of your range. And for all of my 20's I was the young married mom. I was the one Mops groups and Ladies Retreats SHOULD have appealed to. But those groups/functions were not my cup of tea. I felt like they were social groups (even though they had the goal of bringing people closer to God).
I am a supremely practical person when it comes to organizations: PTA at school, ministries, home. And my practical side seemed always at war with the way women's ministries or women's groups (PTA) were run. It always seemed like those groups were about "the groups" and about more, more, more. More meetings. More planning. More time.
I like my life to be fully integrated. I don't want to compartmentalize different aspects of life. I want everything to work together. In the past it's always felt to me that when serving in ministry that there was an expectation that the rest of my life had to bow to church. It felt like I would get sucked into "working in the ministry" to the exclusion of having time for friends, sports, business, and life outside the church.
I'm trying hard to answer those questions you mentioned for myself. Why am I here? What is my purpose? And I'm trying to add layers to my life that support the vision I have for who God made me to be without losing myself or my life in one particular area. That's why I'm currently holding back at church. I'm afraid if I get involved again it will suck me in, chew me up and spit me out. (Being really honest here. I'm not proud of this but it's real).
Truly I struggle with how to answer those questions you pose. I feel like I'm living out the gospel in some ways. But not fully. I would love women's ministry to not be ABOUT women's ministry but about equipping and supporting women in their lives outside of women's ministry.
Here's a whole bunch of info that I wish you luck in making any sense of Bianca. 😉 I'm still trying to make sense of my thoughts for myself.
Love what you’re doing and really liked the vlog, so I thought I’d chime in!!!
1. Yes, I attend regularly and have a non-traditional small group (we don’t follow the church’s curriculum and only meet once a month due to scheduling issues). Occasionally my group volunteers with random ministries.
2. Somewhat. I am definitely a sinner, but I do share my faith in an open and conversational way.
3. Outdated (sorry, that was my gut reaction).
4. Relevant to me (I’m a single, mid-30s professional with little free time on my hands. 10am Bible Studies would never work for me).
5. Nope.
6. Sure. I’ve always enjoyed mentorship relationships in the past! It would look something like discipleship and something like encouragement/listening ear.
I totally had one of those days today – why is life so hard? What am I doing to make it that way? Why am I doing it? That was pretty much the jist of my head today!! Just bare that in mind!
1, There is a Church I consider 'my Church' but I don't go that often. When I do, I go for the Sunday service and bolt out of the door before anyone speaks to me. So probably no is the closest answer – I'm not good with meeting new people and I grew up in a Catholic Church so have to make friends in a new Church which is daunting.
2, Nope. I suck.
3, Wives and mothers complaining. (sorry! I work in an office filled with women, and that's all it seems to be)
4, Truthful supportive friendships laced with Faith
5, No
6, Yes definitely. I guess mentoring would look like a wise, cheerleader – someone who spurs you to a positive future through advice, prayer and envouragement.
Love that you're doing this and excited to see and learn from what others have to say! =)
Are you involved in church? Why or why not? Yes! I'm the Children's Director and I'm also involved in a bible study and well various other things because that's what happens when you're on staff =) But even before I was on staff, I was involved in the Children's department and involved in things at church because I know and have seen the positive things that come out of actually doing life on life…even if it is hard to do and it does take time and effort.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? Trying to! I definitely have my shortcomings and am learning to fall forward.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? Intimidating.
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? Empowering.
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? Yes and no….yes in the sense that I know that God has "called" me and gifted me in working with kiddos and I LOVE them, but no in the sense that I do have a heart for Africa too and am waiting for Him to show me what He's going to do with that.
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? YES! Mentoring would look like…getting invited into their family and life. Doing life together. Meeting both just one on and one and also assuming they are married then also just getting to experience that aspect of life with them. Being single and not having grown up in a Christian home, I want to be able to experience and see what that is like so that I can learn too.
Oh and just in case you needed to know I'm 25 and single =)
Are you involved in church? Why or why not?- I attend church. We had such a HORRIBLE experience with our last church. that I attend this one.. I'm Guarded. But I do enjoy it.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? In some ways yes. Honestly, Im at a point right now where I really have an issue with trusting Christians. AND Im a preachers wife! Nice combo huh? I really have to realize that not all christians are like the last ones we dealt with. Im sorry if that didnt come out right but if you cant be real annonomously when can you?
Continued…
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry?I like the comment above, outdated is a good one.Also, the one geared towards Mothers is a good one…. I'm sorry but I'm early 30;s the idea of a ladies tea doesnt appeal to me. I want to ministered to as a WOMAN. Not being a good wife or good Mother ( i am both a wife and a mother) or another teaching on how we can juggle it all. That's already my reality. JUST AS A WOMAN. (as Im writing this out im seriously seeing how negative i am)
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? No- not a at all.
My answers:
Are you involved in church? Why or why not? We used to be SUPER involved for many many years in children's ministry. We're taking a break because with three littles its hard to be really consistent…crusty noses and such.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? Sorta. No and yes. I try. Seems like it might be easier to sell everything and live in a hut in the jungle and then you REALLY know…you know?
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? Inside joke between my friends and I: "Roses and Doilies" Enough said.
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? Not Roses and Doilies
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? Yes. Fo sho.
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? I have a friend who is older whom I adore. Her grown children are God fearing, amazing adults. I rely on her for parenting advice regularly. I joke that I'm going to drop my kids off and pick them up in 18 years.
I am 25 years old, just celebrated my 1 year anniversary with my husband, and our little boy will be 1 in July. We live in Oklahoma and attend a very large and VERY will known church globally. Average attendance over 2 days and 6 services is about 4,000 people. We often times "people watch" when we are there and we NEVER recognize anyone.
Are you involved in church? Somewhat. My husband and I have hosted a small "home" group from the church for 2 years. We quit shortly after our son was born, then started again once I returned to work. It has been nothing but a let down. No one takes it seriously or wants to "do life" with each other. It would be a miracle if attendees brought their Bible…or even showed up and left within a reasonable time frame. After repeated attempts to express our goals for the group with no success, we recently stopped hosting.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? In some ways, yes…others, no. I went 22 years of my life never reading the gospel. Many of my habits, mind frames, and attitudes are hard to change to match my new beliefs. I strongly yearn to live out the gospel within my marriage and family.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? Unapproachable.
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? An open, honest group of women from all walks of life who are accepting of everyone and don't "play church."
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? No. I was anything but focused about college and burned many bridges with that attitude. Needless to say, I never finished or even came close. I have worked many jobs and in many different fields and have ended up climbing the professional ladder into a very high paying job. Despite the paycheck, I really have no interest in what I do.
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? Yes. Someone caring, honest, and compassionate. Someone who won't judge and gives non-biased advice. Someone I can use as a model for living out the gospel.
I have been wrestling and talking about this very thing with our church leadership and friends. Having recently left my career to stay at home, I increased my involvement in womens ministry and noticed I was one of the few in my age bracket and I am 33. I want to be thoughtful in my response so im coming back…after I leave disneyland. 😉
Vocation: Office Mgr. And I hate it when things don’t go my way. I do 4 people’s job and got shut down when I asked to hire summer help today I hit my head in keyboard in my mind.
Ministry Involvement: was in worship min. With husband in Span. Service but it got cancelled. After 14 mos. Always wanted to serve alongside of hubby but praying about womens worship or Sunday School (I was teacher before I got married for a few years).
Womens ministry: Love it! So real.
Mentored by older person: Yes, see it as a support.
Am I living gospel? Not at this second…but the other minutes of my life I really try. 🙂
I feel like your thoughts on this are really good. I love the IDEA of a mentor. However the women who've been "mentors" at our last church tended to want to manage their mentees lives rather than provide biblical advice regardless of whether the person they were mentoring was doing things differently than they would. I think a mentor has to be well matched to their mentee. It's like any relationship… some people "click" and some don't. So matching ladies up could lead to amazing things… or terrible things.
So I hesitate to saying yes to a mentor. It seems like the odds of it working out are slim.
I'm 19, young, but I've been through hell and back a few times…
Are you involved in church? Why or why not?
– No. But used to teach Sunday school for 3 years, being the only teacher. Church I grew up in, I do not agree with the leadership now that I'm older. No good churches around my area and poor college student can't afford gas money to drive to a decent church. So I continue to go to church, but it just satisfies my "Christian duty" which I hate because I miss being filled and pouring into others (fellowship).
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel?
– I don't want to say partially because that is being lukewarm. For the most part yes. Thankfully my most recent job was a Christian environment making it a little easier to live out the gospel. But like a normal human, I slip. I wish I trusted more.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry?
– Young social group, older fellowship.
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry?
– Community, safe haven, accountability, no fear
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]?
– Yes, very humbling from my previous job. But it is seasonal and I've been shown to move on and not stay. Now the next thing in life is up in the air, and it's a patience and trusting game. Thinking logically according to the world, doesn't mean it's what you're supposed to do….
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you?
– YES! I've asked to be mentored, or even a basic accountability partner. I'd love someone to drill into me, keep me focused, pray with me, and encourage the word. It's a lot to ask, I don't like being needy.
Are you involved in church? Why or why not? Kinda…I have limited involvement at the moment due to having a baby but am starting to seek opportunities to get more involved. I want to get involved where my heart is now that I know what is on my heart more.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? Trying…but falling short and trying to do better each day.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? At the moment at my church…non-existant. In the past I have experienced a mixture, from open and welcoming to intimidating and full of gossip.
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? love, support, genuine care and friendship, enjoyable, fun!
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? Nope
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? I'm not formally mentored and I'm not sure that I would seek it as a formal arrangement. I have a few older women who I have made the effort to get to know and seek their advice and guidance as well as friendship because I respect them and their faith and because I enjoy spending time with them. Just hearing that what you're going through from someone who's been-there-done-that is a comfort sometimes!
Love that you're encouraging this dialogue. I'm thinking I should do something similar in my own church.
So weird how God just puts things in your hands to confirm your decisions…Ive been struggling with working a "regular job" with steady income etc or following my dreams and my heart (and stopping the temper tantrums that follow when Im not doing this LOL)…so I recently quit my job and decided that if I want to be happy I just need to do it…well today I had an opportunity to go interview for another "regular" job but I just felt so strongly about not doing it and that I just didn't feel I would be happy there so I turned it down…I have come across several posts on facebook and your blog today that just seem to make me feel better about my decision 🙂
So to answer your questions as best as I can…Im 31, newly married and recently relocated from Texas to Colorado. I feel I am the way I am in life largely because of my mom…she had me super young so growing up, we were learning about life together…she was very strong and independent and instilled that in me. I don't go to church any longer…had some issues with the church group I grew up in, felt like everyone was living a double life so I left…I have been to a few other churches back home that I loved but had no one to go with…now that I am here, I have been wanting to go but every place that I want to try just seems far. I have recently found one of my old churches has online service feeds so I will probably start doing that! To me women's ministry is about bonding and encouraging each other and being supportive and lifting each other up when we are down. I am always looking for mentors, people who guide and encourage you in the directions of your dreams without pushing or forcing…someone who lets you grow and learn but doesn't let you fall.
23 years old and just graduated…
* Yes I am, and although it was out of obligation to my parents at first, ministry and the church have really become my own. It's a been a rough path, but God knows I needed the learning experience.
* I don't think I'll ever feel like I'm living the life God wants me to because I'm a perfectionist and so is my God…but I'm not perfect. Do I love God and try daily to live out his love? Yes
.
* Not for me
* Inclusionary
* I wish! Right now, work is about paying for college, but recently God has been showing me things about myself and where He wants me that may involve a complete 190 in school and work. I'm scared, but completely excited 🙂
* I would love to be mentored. Often times when this conversation come up with my friends (and boy does it come up), we come to the same consensus about wanting women to mentor us. Wiser and more experienced that our own circle of friends. We just don't know how to reach out and make those connections. My mentor would be a woman who is so in love with Jesus and willing to share with me the good and the ugly in our lives. She would encourage me.
Ok, I’m out side of your age range by physical age, but my mental age is in the range because I’ve never been married and don’t have kids, so I’m not your typical 44 year old. 😉
Are you involved in church? Why or why not?
Yes, DEFINITELY! Why? Because we are called to be Servants, to further the kingdom, we are the church and we need to serve one another, and I love to serve! I wish I lived closer to my church and I would serve more. I’d put up a tent in the courtyard to live! LOL j/k
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel?
Yes, but I fail miserably. The verse Paul talks about in Romans, “For the good that i will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.” unfortunately has my name written next to it! “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” 🙁 :But you know what? His mercies are new EVERY morning! And I pick myself up off the floor, dust myself off and try again until my savior comes back for me.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry?
Depends on which church. My church, it’s a little weak, but I love the women and participate nonetheless! CCM-ROCKS! I’m overly impressed with your Women’s Ministry! These women are ANNOINTED!!
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry?
I’speak of CCM-ANNOINTED!
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]?
No. 🙁
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you?
I already have been, twice! And I recommend EVERY WOMAN gets mentored, it’s the best thing that you could ever do since most of us are first generation believers. I’m actually going to start mentoring women this summer through CCD. 😉 I’m complicated-CCD isn’t my home church either, but I’ve gone there since I was 18 and do missions with them! 😉
Mentoring looks to me…An older woman of the faith comes a long side a younger woman in the faith and points her to the Word, not her own opinions or advice, exhorts her, holds her accountable, prays with her, goes through the word with her.
Hi B,
thanks for compiling this info –
1. Yes involve in church. Children min/ Hospitality open out Home for bible study fam…w/child care. WHY? the harvest is plenty the laborers are few.. love the Lord this is an Honor to do anything for Him.
2. Living the Gospel? sincerely honest NOT to the fullest potential God intended for me. i'm currently reading Matthew with my children. Our Lord rarely took breaks…He was always reaching out to the sick,oppress,poor,hungry, in always in prayer, I feel I could live the Gospel in a daily basis, not do boast on works but to genuinely care for those around me… do something to help.
3.one word, describe women’s ministry? Limited to those close to the ministry or serving. Irrelevant maybe. Not to offend ~ but i see an older generation that has not connected to the young and there is a link missing… there is a gap, and the young are trying to figure this woman walk on ourselves, which i could be more in touch or connected to the older piers that have so much knowledge of God, & experience in all matters.
4. your vocation matched up with your calling? NO – i do use talents/skills God has gifted me to small projects but at this moment not as an income or full dedication..
5. Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? YES. 1.a person who LOVES CHRIST…and is manifested in her life, not Spiritual but genuine flowing living water, see it and learn it. 2. a Mentor that can show me how to be a better woman,wife,mother, friend – show me the ropes, that i may learn and create a chain effect on my daughter, and younger generation. 3. A person who is always inspiring new or better ways, who shares her talents and likes 4. A Genuine person, someone who keeps it REAL, who is able to accept. 5. A person who is not afraid to speak truth, and is able to give a lovely compliment as well a Gracious/lovely rebuke…
Lord Bless you B!!! You are very loved…. praying for am anointed Great summer series… 🙂
I've got to be honest with you, B. I'd love to go through the list of questions and answer them but God's got something else on my heart and I need to say it before it breaks with the heaviness of this load. I feel weak saying any of this, and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open because I am so tired from the sadness.
I work for a church. I am a youth pastor who has the blessing of working with teenagers who are outcasts at school. They're the kids no one wants to befriend and I get to show them that God values them more than words can express. I am also the only woman on staff at my church, and significantly younger than the majority of women in the church. Women's events are cheesy at best, irrelevant at all times and at worst? Completely exclusive to women who are middle aged and married with husbands and children.
There is also something so frustrating that it makes me want to scream. There is this unspoken rule that we must always be okay. We must have things together. We can acknowledge past struggles but can't cry out about present ones. And if a staff member such as myself were to admit to having a bad week? This would result in awkwardness at best and complaints at worst.
B, I don't know what to think right now about the church. I want to believe in it. I truly to. But how can we be broken people with a God who heals over us when we're too busy pretending? I don't know if I can do it. It hurts too much. And when it doesn't hurt is when I'm numb to my emotions and numb to my God. And those moments are worse.
Sorry about the meltdown.
I guess I'm having one of the moments you described.
I'm feeling you. I think the same thoughts all the time. I unofficially work for the church, too. But though I am somehow free to be myself and even real in our youth zone, I sense no freedom anywhere else. I walked into church last week and began to cry. There is lo's that is trying going on in my family and life that I cannot control. I was not crying in relief, that I was at home, in a refuge, in a safe space. I was crying because it is there that I feel least safe. Any utterance, breakdown or revealing of my mind about circumstances in my life and our world might equal the loss of my access to youth kids or even my job at their school. I love The Church. But, I have no idea how to navigate in "mine."
I don't think your problem is rare. But, that doesn't make it any easier now does it? If you need or just want to rant, or share tear filled accounts, or just have a come apart, on someone who gets it, here's my email. kfsullivans@gmail.com. I'm here. I'll read/listen and pray for you. I'm already praying.
Hey, I'm 45, a wife and mother of 4 teenagers. Not you demographic, but since most of my friends and comrades are 30-35, we see the world more the same, I'm busting in here.
1.) I am very involved with our church, but over time I have geared my involvements more and more toward my calling, aptitude and some areas where my gifts are effective in service. So, though I have been in structured small groups, sunday school classes, etc. for years, I now sense better traction in more organic gatherings which I have facilitated or another has asked me to attend.
2.) As I have revelation to do so, I do. I am a passionate mentor and coperatively facilitate a contemplative discipleship/leadership initative with young adults via our church. Most of my passions and skills are well incorporated into kingdom applications and I think I am beginning to understand walking with Christ and living in the kingdom in my "voice."
3.) Shallow. More about who we should ( narrow and if I may say rather religious confines) be than who we are ( and are made to be.) Limited scope and modern as opposed to post modern perspectives. I live in a part of the country that is easily 40 years behind.
4.) engaging, freeing, and more purposeful in pursuit of the depth and breadth of talent, insight, vision our women possess.
5.) I teach social science to high school students and sometimes they turn me loose to teach "bible" classes as well. I oversee and mentor in programs designed to facilitate growth in youth and college age students. LOVE IT! And I write a bit: with my students, curriculum, I edit for several authors, I blog and may be working on a piece or two myself.
6.) I am incredibly blessed to have several mentors in my life. Some are professional guides, some focus on my writing, others my ministerial gifts and callings. All encourage my growth in the Lord and His ways. We do have programs to pair women at our church. For some it has been a good experience. I'll be honest. I'm a questioner with a bit of a revolutionary temperament, most women over 35 give me plenty of space, though they are thrilled to have me involved with their kids. I was just born early.
I am 37 years old, mother of 4 and wife. I am not surprised to see all the comments and reactions or feeling towards the church at all.
1. i am not involved at church at the present. I was heavily involved in my younger days 🙂 from age 25 to I'd say 35. Ive been a youth leader, in women's' ministries, children's ministries, SINGLE ministry (which i have to say was pretty sad) I love the Lord & understand people will be people, so I have shaken a lot off over the years but it is very heart breaking. Ministry is not easy & the church leadership needs to wake up & smell the coming of the Lord. I now just attend church with my family due to exhaustion and the beat downs that you get from those who should have higher standards. I miss being involved, there's a big hole in me & i know where it comes from, but at the moment i feel i can't get myself to deal with it all (negativity).
2. Not to my full potential or at least the desire with in me… I am not a stay home mom, I am an Exec. In Health Care full time & the Lord always opens doors at my place of employment for ministry which I love.
3. out dated, bullies, not real. sorry but it's what i see all the time.
4. AUTHENTIC
5. yes, not completed yet but yes
6. yes mentored, not necessarily by an "older women" but a real woman, a woman who is real & gets what's up in every aspect of a modern woman's life.
Are you involved in church? Why or why not? – Yes. In the midst of a church plant now. I'm worship leader and guitar/djembe player and small group leader. If I weren't in the midst of a church plant, I'd still be involved. I love the community I've become a part of in our small groups.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? – Some days
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? – overdone
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? – comfortable
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? – I think so. I'm in real estate, so I get to help people make big decisions and while doing that build relationships with them. It's all about loving people, and that gives me a chance to do just that.
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? – Yes. I am currently. Just spiritual guidance, prayer & encouragement to live a good story.
All right. I thought about a response yesterday. Lost it. I'll think about some more today.
Are you involved in church? Why or why not? – Yes, I believe as a woman who has accepted Christ as my Savior… my life should now revolve around reaching those around me who are far from Him and working to disciple those who are nearly founded in Christ. Being involved in church is just one of those steps.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? I try, I am not perfect and in some instances I step back and realize wow you need to do that over. I pray that at the end of the day God will say well done good and faithful servant. To obtain that, all I have to do is try my hardest to give my all. And I do.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? lacking.
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? An alignment of accountability.
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? I currently am in the midst of switching over from photography to women's ministry. It's funny that the first time I visit your blog your post is on this. There is such a need for women to step up and start leading and discipling other women… I think too many women are too comfortable in their mundane lives to start being who God has called them to be.
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? Yes. I want to be mentored by someone who loves Jesus with all their heart soul and strength. Someone who devotes their life to finding God's will every single day. Someone who allows Jesus to shine His light on others through them. Someone who isn't afraid to speak truth into your life even if it hurts. ACCOUNTABILITY. But also CARE. I have been in SO SO SO many groups where the women are just so wrapped up in their own lives to take a moment to sacrifice for another Sister. GET UP, stop being so selfish and start making those meaningful relationships. Start being Jesus for others, because after all we are the living Body of Christ.
So there's my rant. 🙂 lol So happy to have found your blog today! When it first popped up I thought, what is Jasmine Star doing on here? Totally forgot she had a twin! 🙂
Backstory: I'm a 21 year old graduate student working in the non-profit world and just beginning the ordination process for my denomination.
1. Are you involved in church? Why or why not?
Yes, mainly in the college/young adult leadership team, mainly coordinating large events and weekly services. I also serve on church committees as needed.
2. Do you feel like you are living out the gospel?
Some days, yes. Other days, I feel so ineffective and get so discouraged that it's nearly impossible to be the hands and feet of Jesus to anyone.
3. In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? Old.
4. In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? Empowering.
5. Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]?
Ehh, kind of. I feel called into ministry and I'm currently working in the non-profit world and studying social work. The kind of ministry that I feel God calling me into deals with social justice issues and missions so non-profit work fits into that.
6. Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you?
Definitely! Currently, no one has the role in my life and I can definitely see where it could be beneficial. Mentoring looks like building a close, open relationship with another person and having the ability to hold the other person accountable and speak into their lives.
Thanks for bringing this subject up. I hope you find all the information you need 🙂
24 year old recent graduate
*Are you involved in church? Why or why not? Yes. I serve in the children's ministry and I love it!
*Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? Mostly, yes though it's hard at times especially at work.
*In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? geared towards older women
*In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? Discipling younger women.
*Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? No but I know it's where the Lord has me right now.
*Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? Yes! I want a mentor who will push me to better myself, encourage me to pursue God and my passions, and hold me to a high standard of holiness.
First of all im so excited that you are burdened for our generation. Is dope and it’s defiantly exciting to learn about how other ladies feel about being in ministry and share with their experiences. So Thank you.____I am 25 years old. I live in the Dallas area – I am very much involved in church. The church I go to is a very large church as well, therefore very easy to be over looked unless you make the effort yourself to get plugged in and serve towards building the kingdom. We do, like most church’s now a days, have a welcome center, and equip classes to get “new” people involved and plugged inn, either with serving in the church or with linking them to “small groups” in their zip codes or respective age groups, interests etc. Untimely though I feel it is up to every individual to want to get involve and take the steps necessary to get involved in serving with the church. ____
Living out the gospel? Lol – interesting question – lol, I would say I have a pretty good relationship with the “invisible man!” I spend time with him reading the bible, in prayer – consciously aiming my actions toward more love and less judgment.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? – someone earlier said “moms” I will have to agree with this. Very very true statement. I find that in most women’s ministry’s are geared towards (respectively speaking) older women “moms”. And for the most part i/we cannot relate to the same issues moms go through on a day to day basis. And because like we’v already agreed there is a lack in females living out a life of ministry we (as young ladies) find our self’s struggling to find a point of connection, for lack of a better term ROLL MODLE, that we can actually relate to or esteem too.
(Given I understand that ultimately Christ is the one we esteem most!) But I think we do lack a generation of young ladies who will dare to rise up and say “Follow me, as I follow Christ” which I think ties in with your question Would you want to be mentored by an older person?
To answer this question, YES, I think mentoring should be a must within the church. Because I feel like, you said, we all are in need of that female bond. And also I think that its important for us as young ladies to have the guidance from someone who has already “been there done that” someone who has walked out the path, who is living proof that the “gospel” can be lived out without compromise. And also it keeps us accountable. So pairing us with someone who is not mom, but more like Big Sister
Thanks again for providing us with such an awesome platform to air our opinions. Please keep us posted on the outcome. I would definitely love an opportunity to also hear from a ladies who are in ministry talk about the life in ministry and how they got there etc.
God bless.
* Are you involved in church? Why or why not? No, due to our engagement, we are in the mist of transitioning churches
* Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? I am; although, more often than not I fall flat on my face
* In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? @ CCM I felt as it was 100% geared to the homeschool mom of multiple children…..at CCCV; geared for the stay at home mom (with/without homeschool children).
* In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? Equipping women in being "good wives" & "homemakers"
* Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? No. But I'm going to school to change that
* Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? Already have one (several). They are real & upfront, they do not sugar coat ANYTHING yet their words are covered w/grace & mercy.
I meant to say CURRENTLY the women's ministry is geared to the equipping of becoming "good wives: & "homemakers"; instead, it ought to be for the equipping of the SAINTS (women) into the calling HE has for our lives.
1. Yes, i am Involved in my church, Because the some areas i am involved in i believe God has called me to do those things
2. Not fully
3.Lacking
4. Life changing/impacting
5. I am not working now, but when I was working, no it didnt match up
6. Yes, I would want to be mentored.
1. Yes. My hubby has been called to serve God as a pastor. I serve God by serving him (my husband). I am also involved in the women's ministry at our church. That is the ministry that my heart really beats for.
2. No
3. Life-changing
4. Broken women coming together to find healing, restoration and freedom in God's word and leading others to do the same. 1 Corinthians 1:3-
5. I am a teacher and although I consider it a ministry, it is not where I see myself in 5-10 years. I would love to be spending time with women counseling, mentoring and so forth.
6. I would definitely would love to be mentored by an older person. Actually, I am beyond blessed as God has already provided godly mentors that I look up to. However, there is always room to learn from other women who have walked the same path. To me, mentoring looks authentic. It is where I can be myself with that person and share my struggles without fear of judgment. A mentor is also someone who can speak the truth in love to me for my betterment without being afraid that I will be offended.
1 Corinthians 1:3-7
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
In response to question #2 I do feel like I am living out the gospel. I misunderstood that question. I thought you were asking if we felt like we were living outside of the gospel.
1. I am involved with the children, God is faithful to me. I want to be faithful to Him and serving His Church is something I know I am called to do.
2. I try as much as possible to love God and love people. I work at GFS (bulk food store) and try to see people from God's perspective. Check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v0RhvZ3lvY
3. Gossip group or completely Beth Moore/tons of homework related groups… Usually at 10am for mothers.
4. Titus 2.3-5. As a 26 year old, I DON'T know everything. I would like women to invest in me and show me how to be a Christ follower as a mother/wife… so someday I would know how. I want them to teach me how to cook and share LIFE with them! My generation is begging women to be real with us and show us true Christianity and how that plays out in everyday life.
5. I have a degree in youth ministry. While my job at GFS is not youth ministry, I work with a bunch of college students and I love being able to interact with the public outside of the church. God places me exactly where he wants me.
6. YES! See my answer above for what I want women's ministry to be.
Are you involved in church? Why or why not? Yes. I grew up as a pastor's kid and have always been involved. Now being in ministry myself I am obviously still heavily involved.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? Sheesh… can we ever? Nope, I dont think entirely… but I'm sure giving it a go. I think this is one of those things I will be ever trying and failing at. But hoping to fail a little less every day.
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? outdated (in my church… not necessarily everywhere)
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? family of women of all different ages, cultures, backgrounds and social groups loving and supporting each other.
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? Yes. Both of them. Although I have to say that I am seeing a major transition ahead. I feel sometimes as though I have put off the transition that already should have taken place, and because of that I am burning out. Trying to figure that out now…
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you? If I'm being totally honest, no I wouldnt want to be. I have a hard time opening up and trusting people like that. However, I know it would be super beneficial.
1) — I help out with nursery once a month. I am not involved in women's ministry because their meetings are on the same night as the men's meetings. My husband and I have four kids so one of us has to stay home.
2) — Not quite sure on this one. I feel I try but am I perfectly living my faith out? Umm (a resounding) No!
3) — for 40's plus (at least at my church
4) — all encompassing
5) — I'm in college and I recently found out my degree isn't going to take me where I thought it would. So I still plan on getting out in the job market with my degree and hoping God opens doors anyway. I am married with four kids. I kind of feel burn out from it all.
6) — absolutely YES! Mentoring looks like calling me to check up, see how I'm doing. Getting together once a month. Pouring wisdom into me. I wish I knew who or how to ask. I have reached out before but the women I have asked were too busy to commit.
Hi Bianca I’ve been blessed by your writing and funny tonight I was in the kitchen with my husband and I asked why am I not involved. I’m 35 years old mother of 3 full time employee for insurance I’m sad to say I am not involved in woman’s ministry reason #1thw ladies are nice but they seem busy, lack of connection #2 fear of hurting ( lack of trusting ) bad experience with woman’s ministry years ago. #3 I just don’t make the time and feel like another night out away from the boys so I instead grab a book and do my own study. My life as of now is chaotic that’s why I loved your blog on its ok for a Christian to hurt/ anger like David and job did for right now I’m david and I pray to praise and sing songs to the lord! By the way Calvary montebello was our home church years ago my husband and I were saved there and I was blessed with woman’s retreats and my Bible study my group leader was jaqui she was a blessing I commuted from Ontario to montebello for Tuesday woman’s study midweek and Sunday! Pastor Pancho encouraged my husbad to attend Bible college at golden springs truly I’m blessed! Thanks again and hope my 35 year old comment of why I am not involved gave you some insight please pray for me!!!
I think it is important to keep in persepctive that the Church is the people, in other words we are 'the church". It is not an organization or a building. When two or more are gathered, there it is. I go to a home fellowship that is not affliated with a demonination or an organization so the relationships established between the women are really organic and natural.
"why people between the ages of 18-35 are missing in the church" . It should be no suprise that if the gospel is being preached without compromise then our fellowships will take a hit in numbers. It's also not about numbers, because you can have a fellowship numbering say 4,000 but only a few may truly be living a life that is obedient towards God. Quality should be emphasized over quantity. We should also be careful about trying to market the church as if it's some type of Brand product. As a body of believers we should just preach the gospel to the lost, feed the sheep and reach out to widows and orphans. The people that hear the message of repentance and accept it will then naturally flock to our fellowships. We should not try to coerce people into coming to fellowship by enticing them with entertainment, tickling of the ears or social programs.
Happy Fourth of July!
Hello! Great post! But the website is loading pretty slowly.
I am a 30 year old mother of 2 boys. One was of a Rape and the other is in a marriage with a man that is not particularly interested in CHURCH.
Are you involved in church? Why or why not? I go most weeks to sunday service. I have tried working in the Children's ministry but due to issues with my partner's lack of interest in church I find myself more often than not being unable to help because he gets angry I am not spending enough time with my own kids.
Do you feel like you are living out the gospel? In some ways yes in other ways I am getting by but that is a life full of Grace. I know there are many people who would say I am not walking the gospel because I am friends with Gays, lesibans, polyamorists, pagans as well as with christians> To those people I would say look who Jesus spent his time with look how his life transformed those around him because they saw a light of love for them and a willingness to be seen with the "dirty" of biblical times To me that is the gospel grace and love for those who are hurting!
In one word or phrase, how would you describe women’s ministry? In many churches it's once a week to monthly and there are scriptures and talking. If you are new there is no real effort to build the connections before thrusting you into the group among already built stories and friendships. Our church has "city groups" of young women of college and career age respectively and a group for married couples but if you happen to have any small variance on this (you aren't big on sharing lots at once, you are in the graduate student phase while doing the family thing) everyone considers you an outsider to their group because they can't understand your issues.
In one word or phrase, how would you want to describe women’s ministry? A clique of women that is hard to get into and usually tries to focus on only one person each time.
Is your vocation [job or what you do] matched up with your calling [what God wants you to do]? Right now I am studying to do what I am called to do better. So as a student it matches as learning more about what I wanna do. As a stay at home mom yea it lasts pretty well!
Would you want to be mentored by an older person? If so, what does mentoring look like to you?
Hey there! Good post! But the blog is still loading incredibly slowly.