Someone asked me a question on Formspring about eating and dieting. Asking me to speaking about gluttony and dieting is akin to asking Scrooge McDuck about his principle for giving money away or asking Snooki how she tans so naturally. I always shy away from this topic because it leaves me open to criticism, failure, and the vicious cycle of the weight yo-yo.
Food became my frienemy [friend + enemy]. And overeating became separate than any other sin because eating was a necessity, so I justified my gluttonous actions and condoned my lack of discipline. But in the process of justifying my actions, I created a hierarchy of sins. And gluttony was a baby sin compared to, oh you know, MURDER!!!
I was totally okay, right? Wrong.
Gluttony [habitual overeating] falls short at addressing an issue women individually face. What overeating for you may not be overeating for someone towering 6 feet in the air. But what does God say about this? Check out Philippians 3:18-19. My God is my belly? Whoa. This stuck me with a profound ache. I had let my nature rule my conviction. However, I failed at seeing my legalism with dieting.
My mind worked out a spiritual equation: controlling my eating = being righteous. This is wrong! My issue was really my heart, but I had let my appetite mask issues of my heart. Without addressing my core issues, forcing myself to stop binging was like telling a parapalegic to stand up and walk. Not only is it impossible, it is embarrassing.
No one understood the emotional turmoil, guilt, embarrassment, and defeat that I felt when trying on clothes, stepping on a scale, or seeing the way people glanced at my ill-fitting clothing. I began to resent God and question why He wouldn’t help me. I was asking for help… and He was silent.
After failing at the 38 diets since the age of 12, I stepped off the scale saying one of two things: I hate me or I hate thee. I was seeking for a change in body, not a change of heart. And this was major battle.
I’ll be posting a video shortly, but what have been the major shortcomings in your understanding of gluttony, dieting, and weight issues? I hope to address any questions you have in the vlog. 🙂
Food is just sooo dang good. You'd think that because I know my body is the temple of God I would go and work out, but I just have no motivation. I hear everything – start with baby steps, listen to music while you do it, etc. But, none of that motivates me enough. I think you are right when you say that it is a HEART issue. Before I used to think that such things as working out or weight were just wordly issues, but there is a definite connection to your spiritual walk. Even then, this is one of those things where I KNOW I should work out since my body is not my own, yet I have to admit (shamefully) that hasn't motivated me enough…
This touch my heart. I have been fight with gluttony and cry so much about it. Even right now I am tearing up because I felt so alone in this battle. I have been battling for some years now and some people say I shouldnt worry but I do. I have prayed so much for God to help me control my emotions. I have done weight watchers(mananged to loose 15 only to gain it with a vengence), skipping meals, bootcamps at 530 in the morning , vegan, vegetarian, shakes, protein, pills, and even
thought about doing the Daniel Diet with Saddleback. It really is a great program but my willpower is in the ground. I cant seem to get myself in gear. I know It has been hard to buy clothes and dread looking in the mirror. I have prayed that God guides me and make Him the center of my life not my fixation on my weight and belly lol. I do like to work out but my eat ing is what i need to control. I have recently started tracking which I am good at doing but even if I see that I have gone over my limit by lunch I keep going.
The presentation on Daniels Diet in Saddleback really pumped me up to do better but not being a part of a group isnt helping. One thing that stood out of the whole presentation was Dr. Amen ssying that food is medicine and what makes your brain function well. He said for us to think about the Dinosaur Syndrome which is big body – little brain and vice versa. I have been telling myself that. Currently I am trying to loose 10 and then 10 more. I am 5 ft 140 and it may not be alot to some to me it is. Most of the clothes in my closet do not fit and it is so frustrating. I am praying everyday that something clicks and that like you said Bianca that God changes my heart. I became scared of my weight when I was told that I was borderline diabetic and that i could be infertile but I have left that to the Lord and pray to God it does not happen. … Thank you for posting this. 🙂 I really enjoy your site.
I struggled with the same thing. I was anorexic (basically ate water soluable items, water and nothing else) for a good 2 years. Prior to that I binged like crazy. Anorexia was the band-aid I used to reverse the binging. But food wasn't the problem. It was and is my view of myself. The beliefs I have about what beautiful is and was. The belief that I was ugly and underserving and unworthy. I was a victim who didn't believe in God or hope. I was highly suicidal and everyday was an act that I was the star of trying to look okay but dieing to just be deleted from earth.
When I found God he delivered me from my anorexia and bulimia. BUT overeating is something that I still struggle with. I struggle with just being OKAY with feeling full. With not stuffing myself like a thanksgiving turkey. With writing down my food journals consistently and presenting my body and food as a sacrifice to the Lord. It is soooo hard to take my food to HIM and thank Him for feeding me and ask Him to feed me and help me to be satisfied with just WHAT my body needs and not what I want to eat. I know the struggle and the battle is so sneaky personal and unique to every woman.
I want to lose 20 pounds that I've gained over the past year from binging and not caring about myself after a breakup. And I know God will remove whatever weight does not need to be there if I just focus on HIM and the cross and eat as He did. Just what He needed. I don't take Christ as one to sit with the disciples and not speak because He was too focused on stuffing His face with bread, drinking all the juice/water, and eyeing the remaining portions wondering if He will be able to get seconds before someone else gets up to get some. I don't take that as the way Jesus ate at all. I see Him savoring the gift of tasty fish, bread, and various dishes. I picture Him blessing the food and taking in ONLY what He needed and nothing more. I picture HIM having the GOD GIVEN CONTROL that only God can put in me when I eat. What a blessing to serve a living God who helps us in every AREA we are willing to surrender :).
♥cheche
Thanks for posting. Everyday is a struggle within to battle the war inside me. I find that when I am doing well emotionally, the war is easier to fight. I am praying victory is won soon.
I love that "God Given Control".. I will use that. 🙂
I just have to tell you how much I appreciate your vulnerability. Jon Acuff posted today about how it seems all Christians USED TO struggle. But they don't anymore. If we're honest with ourselves and each other we know that is a lie. We all struggle with something. Right now.
And right now I struggle with body image and weight, too. I felt like I was totally on track to getting things dealt with and then suffered a devastating knee injury in January that literally kept me sitting for two months. I know God has used the past two months to change my heart. To bring me and my heart to a better place. The stress that I've felt though in not being able to physically work out or address my physical issues has been a big battle. I love that you are addressing this, even if you are STILL dealing with it. 🙂
I am mexican with family history of diabetes and high blood pressure. I have never battled with my weight until now. I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my life. I don’t feel sexy anymore with my hubby (although he tells me I am) but I feel like I can smash him (TMI).
I love sweets (and I justify that by telling myself its snacking). I refuse to join a gym because its expensive but yet I will buy tons of clothes…yeah I need help.
thanks for the honesty…lately i've been a little obsessive on excercise…getting a little better..but earlier this month i hurt my knee and had to sit it out for several weeks..i am barely getting back to TRYING to run…but i am taking it a little slower this time to avoid another knee problem…i actually felt like God was checking me because i had lost sight of Him and kept my eyes on the scale…________
Trust me when I say I have NEVER been able to stick to a diet in my life until now of course. And rather than call it a diet, it's a life-style that I've chosen to embark on. You see I recently started doing CrossFit and they advocate the Paleo Diet because it will help increase our performance as athletes and all of the added health benefits. Needless to say, I have ALWAYS struggled with an addiction to SUGAR. I was never really overweight but that does not mean that I did not abuse and overindulge. It became increasingly apparent in my moods and skin (acne). So I decided to finally give this a shot and surprisingly it wasn't hard at all. It was almost as if my body was craving this change and now only desires to eat this way. Ever since I started this my mood swings have ceased to exist and I feel happy all day. It's weird, I know. I never thought food could actually have such a big impact on how I actually felt but it really did. I'm 31 now and as corny as this sounds, CF + Paleo has really changed my life. Second to God of course but it's just I was taking care of myself spiritually and neglecting my body and health.
I encourage you to do some research and find what's right for you.
For your vlog I thought maybe you could address the issue of abstaining from food in order to look better (anorexia or bulimia) because I know so many girls must struggle with this and it's rarely addressed because it's hip to be thin. TIA!
Hey Indy-
I have a friend doing CrossFit and I've been seriously thinking of doing it. My main problem is the way I eat, going to check out the Paleo Diet.
Thanks!
I had to deal with core issues before I was back to "normal" eating. With a therapist. For 10 months. It was actually great because I was more happy after that than I had ever been before. And I mean even before eating issues. I would really encourage anyone who deals with eating issues to go talk to someone who is a professional. God puts people to use as tools here on earth 🙂
I can't believe I have the oppurtunity to tell you all what I been feeling just in the last few days. I was told that I was starting to show signs of diabetese…I prayed to God….if I just can go back in time,I would change my eating habits, you see I just lost my sister 5 weeks ago from a heart attack due to diabetes. She was just 3 years older then me. I am so scared. I went from mourning to being scared. So what I'm saying is don't let this happen to you. You still have time. When it's to late. It's to late. Now I have to diet and never get off it. Take care or youselves.
This post couldn’t be more timely. I’m struggling in this area big time. Definitely need some God given control!! Thank you Bianca for you honesty and for sharing.
Bianca, I am totally battling with this as I type. I go from one extreme of limiting my food intake to only natural, healthy foods to raging the kitchen and eating any and everything possible. I feel great when I'm doing good but then something will happen or I make an excuse that I'm going to give myself a "day off" of eating right and then that day turns into the weekend and by the time Monday rolls around I am feeling so defeated I don't even want to get out of bed. I love the taste and desire the satisfaction of the food yet hate my self and the fact that none of my clothes fit after I over indulge. I crave food more than I crave God and I hate it.
I began reading Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst (have you heard of it?) yesterday and so far (up to chapter 5) what I have read has described me and my struggles exactly. Anyways, thank you so much for being so open about your struggles. I know it's hard and so I honestly, truly appreciate it. I hope to someday be able to talk about my own struggles on my blog and to others. I truly believe that God gives us the certain struggles that we have so that we can overcome them and in turn help others to do the same. You are amazing!
I so struggle with this, B. SO. I’m leaning in close to hear what my heart needs to hear to really GET it….
Great article! jvvoljfg
I have a tween daughter who still has some "baby fat".
One day we were talking and she said she wanted to lose weight (honestly, girls are bombarded at a young age with weight. . .just look at the shows they watch. . .all the actresses are itty bitty even at the age when most young girls go through that "baby fat" stage). I told her that it's all about being healthy. It's not about a size. As long as we exercise and eat healthy and love ourselves that is all that matters. Some people are born to be bigger while others are born to be smaller.
That said, I struggle myself with wanting to look like the celebs. I even went as far as making an appt with a doctor to get some diet pills because I want to lose that last 20 pounds from pregnancy weight. I don't over eat but I don't exactly eat healthy. I try to exercise at least 3x's a week and I still have those love handles that bother me along with other insecurities.
And then I feel like a hypocrite because I tell my daughter it's not about being a certain size but being healthy when I really want to be a size 6/120 pounds.
That is my struggle—being an example of someone who loves their body while doing things to be healthy. I don't want my daughters to grow up with body issues.
Great post Bianca , I have struggled for 26 yrs with all the issues at hand , I have read and still go back to it at times a book called , Becoming a Women of Moderation , excellent book ! And after years of "the Struggle" ,with the Lord's help it is helping me reach my weight loss goal and with these other issues as well awesome book !!! Thanks for the Post ,sometimes this can be a touchy subject because we think that its NOT a sin to over eat but it is , there are many scriptures in refferance to this . Many illness stem from one being over weight , just so much , joint pain , heart problems , back problems to name a few. I think we as men and women need to look as if we are people of moderation and self control , not just say that we are , even in our weight it does tend to show one's heart . It's been as I said a struggle for me these past 26 years but I have finally let the Lord really deal with me in these areas . Thank you again Bianca ! 😉
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