It’s often been said that holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill someone else. But we’re rarely fond of the alternative.
On a topical level, forgiveness can feel like fat-free food: unsatisfying. It’s easier to imagine ways of getting back and obtaining vengeance than it is to forgive someone. They may not feel better afterward, but we might.
TO FORGIVE IS TO WILLFULLY BEAR AND EMBRACE A WOUND THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS GIVEN TO YOU.
Many pastors and preachers speak of forgiveness as a virtue, and praise the maturity of it. But there is a reason so many can’t seem to forgive—it requires willingness to suffer. This isn’t just any kind of suffering, either. To forgive is to willfully bear and embrace a wound that someone else has given to you.
In this video, I discuss the effects of forgiveness and how he love loves much, is forgiven much! [Yes, I stole that from Luke 7:47. Whatevs, man.] I recorded this for my friends over at Leading and Loving It, but my friend Liz left a comment on Facebook that requested a vlog. Ask and ye shall receive, boo!
Have you had a situation that called forgiveness? How did you respond? Hopefully you’re more mature than slashing someone’s tires. But if so, no judgement here, friend. No judgment here.
Well, I guess that is what I get for wanting a prophetic word from you!
From Suzanne…………….. no hold on, let me try that again
From Su-zanne….. no I can do better
From Suzanne! ……..urgh, names are hard.
Bianca, I dealing with needing forgive, I’m going to listen to this over & over. Thank you
O. M to the Geee!!! So Blessed!! God is so good!! All I asked for was a video blog (because I miss you) and the Lord used your lips and gravitating personality to speak forth His truth about the topic of Forgiveness, Thank you for your honesty!
I too, confess having thoughts in past events of slashing tires, breaking widows and other nameless rude acts we wont’ get into, but then again I have also been on the other side of the spectrum where I carry the hurt and seem as if I am okay. I thank God that moving forward when I need to ask for forgiveness or need to forgive someone who has hurt me, I’m at the feet of Jesus really quick.
Unforgiveness is an ugly feeling. It brings bitterness into our heart and it goes against Gods word… The verse I hold dear to my heart is in Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”
God is Good B! Seriously, He always goes above and beyond! Thank you for taking the time to Vlog.
Love You… My MexiRican Amiga ♥
Great word Bianca! Thank you xx
Wow this is just amazing. So liberating and crystal clear on the topic of forgiveness!
Over 5 years ago, someone very near to me decided to wage a war against me without warning. She hurt me deeply, repeatedly, at every opportunity for five long years.
This was extremely painful and utterly confusing, especially because I wanted to be right with The Lord. Before I knew it, I was nursing the wounds and demanding justice from The Lord. I was like that vexed minded animal Dave talks about in the Psalms!
Through it all. I had harbored unforgiveness… and in my Lords mercy he healed me and removed the cancer from my heart. Though this woman may never ask for forgiveness, I learned to forgive through this very suffering your talking about. I just wish I would of understood it better as I was going through it! I would have suffered a lot more valiantly I think.
All this to say I love this. The scope of Forgiveness is totally cemented in my heart with this message and I will share it every chance I get. Thank you Bianca!
P.s You have so much to do with how this war ended… Hopefully one day, if I get to see you and the lines not out the doors to speak to you I will tell you. Promise to keep it brief & not to cry! Lol;)
Thank you. I was struggling to forgive someone (I had chosen to, but I just couldn’t) and them I remembered what my mom shared one day. To ask God to help you forgive and then leave it with Him. So I did. I was a bit worried as a week later I still couldn’t. Then my mom said just to wait. A couple of weeks later I realized that I had forgiven. And with that I wasn’t hurting anymore. (:
This was a great message, thank you so much for posting. I come from a family that holds grudges. I am almost 33 years old and I do not remember a time when my mother spoke to her mom. My grandmother passed before they made amends. Unfortunately, that trait has been passed down to me. I hold grudges, try as I might not to. Recently, I have been hurt by two people I cared very deeply for. Neither of them seemed particularly bothered that I was hurting until I brought it to their attention. One gave a half-hearted apology, the other instead told me how I had hurt her much like you described in your video. The thought of me forgiving them never entered my mind until I just watched this video and I realized why I have been stressing out so much over the last few months. I have been exerting so much energy holding on to this hurt and justifying why they are so wrong and I am so right that I am wearing myself out. Sadly, they are probably not even thinking anything about it, going about their daily lives without a care in the world. The only person I am hurting is myself. I know now what I need to do. Forgive. One of the many definitions of the term “forgive” is “to cease to feel resentment against”. Resenting someone takes effort. Rather than focusing that effort on being mad at her, I need to channel it towards forgiving her and ceasing to feel resentment towards her. She might not deserve it, but neither do I deserve the forgiveness God shows me each and every day. Thank God for His grace!
Thank you so much for this post. It is exactly what I needed to hear to begin moving forward and past the hurt.
Thank you for honestly sharing your heart! I’m praying for you 🙂
Great analogies! Everyday I try to be more forgiving. Thanks for sharing.
Holding anger is a poison…..It eats u from inside….We think that hatred is the weapon that attacks the person who harmed us…..but hatred is a curved blade….nd the harm we do, we do to ourselves…