Just yesterday I was excited about my healthy food choices, my workout regime, and a developing contentment with my body. Oppomistic in myself and the woman God made me, I walked with a gait of healthy and content woman into my doctors appointment, but left like the broken 11 year-old I once was.
“Instead of giving ourselves reasons why we can’t, let’s give ourselves reasons why we can.”
She was trying to help and I appreciate that, but it destroyed me. Friends, it was like I got punched in the stomach… a fat, blubbering stomach. In one striking sentence, You’re overweight, my entire self-worth crumbled like a house of cards. She pulled out the chart to show me where I was and put a black, felt-tipped X in the place where I should be.
And then I got in my car and cried.
In the safety of my home, Matt picked me up, wrapped his arms around me and said, You’re doing great! You’ve been eating so healthy and you don’t look overweight to me. [Did you notice I said he put his arms around me? I wanted to point that out.]
I know this is twisted and warped, but in an odd [very odd] way, Matt became a little piece of God to me. Wait, wait, let me explain before you stone me as a heretic!
We have so many rules of how we are to act, when we are to move, what we are to be. The chart of moral law is a grid that shows us where we are versus the black, felt-tipped X as to where we should be. But that’s GRACE. That’s God.
When we are broken with the realization of where we are versus where we should be, God swoops us up and assures us that we are not where we should be, but He loves us the same. The doctor was right… I did need to be careful about my weight. But all I can do is trust that I’m doing my best and God will take care of the rest.
That, or either cause me to grow four inches so my weight matches my height. Hmmm, I’ve always wanted to be 5’7… 😉
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