So here’s the ugly truth:
- We’re all going to die.
- It’s Tuesday.
- I’ve gained weight.
- Taxes are due in two weeks.
I’ve debated posting this because 1. it’s embarrassing and 2. it’s embarrassing. Not the dying part, nor the fact that it’s Tuesday. And honestly, Matt completed our taxes in January so that’s not really the ugly part. But I was hoping to hide the fact that I’ve gained weight in a sandwich of monotony and the mundane.
Did it work? I knew it wouldn’t, but I had to try.
I’ve battled with my weight all my life, but for the first time in a while I’ve been making good choices, eating unprocessed foods, working out, staying away from sugar, not popping any pills, and chewing each bite 72 times [I picked 72 because 7 is the number of perfection and 2 is the number of man. Yes, I’m neurotic.].
I’ve been strict. I’ve kept the rules. I’ve been diligent. And still nothing. One lady from church went as far as saying, You’re not gaining weight, you’re married and happy. And then I died.
I don’t like publicly talking about new diets or weight loss because then I’m prone to sound like Oprah every time she looses five pounds on the newest diet fad only to gain it back with the newest mac&cheese recipe in O Magazine. And the cycle continues.
But here I am feeling like I need to share this because the ugliest truth of all in this equation is that I’m not happy with the size God made me. A friend of mine [who is ripped and fit] knows my intimate struggle with weight and emailed me an encouraging note. She lauded my efforts and healthy eating, but pointed out my malcontent attitude towards this season of weight cycle. Then she dropped a bomb:
My honest gut feeling though… because most everyone I know does shed pounds eating Paleo and working out, is that God is really waiting on you to change the inside before he changes your outside. He wants so badly for you to not be so caught up and consumed with all of it, that it’s really that battle you’re fighting. I think when you learn to let go of that, the weight loss will come. You’ve got to accept yourself and continue to be healthy and happy, and somehow let go of it all. This is your burden that you constantly keep a death grip on and you never really truly let go of the burden and let Him have it. He has the power to prohibit any and every diet from working if he’s still trying to show you something. Because nothing else really makes sense, I just feel like that’s what is happening.
Thank you for your site post. Manley and I are saving for just a new guide on this subject and your writing has made us to save our money. Your ideas really clarified all our inquiries. In fact, in excess of what we had acknowledged before we found your fantastic blog. My spouse and i no longer have doubts and also a troubled mind because you clearly attended to our own needs in this post. Thanks