It look me by surprise. When I read the comment, the words stung deep. I’ve been called many things growing up, but heretic was a first.

[Rewind]

I’ve never been to seminary nor do I have a Masters of Divinity, but I enjoy taking a look at culture and the bible and answering questions that arise based upon biblical precepts.* When the blog started, I made it a point to video blog weekly about topics or questions people had about life, theology, and the bible. At first, no one watched. But slowly people began commenting on the videos and chiming in with their opinion.

Knowing my answers would not be well-received by the masses, I prepared myself for the worse. Until the worse happened and I was left heart broken.

YouTube comment from a vlog subscriber:

How can you call yourself a Christian?? You are feeding people lies and not sharing the truth of God. Your not a bible teacher, your a fat, ugly, heretic who needs to be shut down.!

Moving past the grammatical errors and improper punctuation, I was left with caustic words and emotional vitriol. I have been called fat. I have been called ugly. But never—ever—have I been called a heretic. And that right there? Oh it crushed me.

I had nothing to defend myself. No degree or theological dissertation or seminary stamp-of-approval. I could see why he would make such remarks, but it was a three-minute video answering a simple question. Context was missing! The scope of my theology was absent! It wasn’t intended to be a dissertation! I simply was asked common cultural question and addressed it from a biblical stance.

I was infuriated. Then I was sad. Then I cried. Then I called Matt. Then I wanted cookies and a dark closet to drown my sorrows in. [Some people abuse alcohol but I prefer carbohydrates ;)]

What if I was a heretic? What if I was causing people to stumble? What if, what if, what if? I stopped vlogging after that. My intent has always been to draw people to a deeper understanding of who God is and why His laws are in place. Teetering on the conservative side of the theological scale, I would have never thought I was capable of heresy.

I quit my role as YouTube’s Fat Ugly Heretic and stopped posting Friday vlogs. The end. Finito. Auf Weirderschen.

[Fast forward] I received this email last week:

I watched all your videos and I don’t even know how I found your channel. I’m an atheist and I have to say, as someone who has no belief, I was taken back how you used scripture to defend your points. You were balanced and (if I do say so myself) very articulate in defending your doctrine while weaving it together with questions about culture.

I don’t give out compliments very often and I don’t believe in God, but I wanted to tell you I really liked your videos and would like to see more.

Friends, I died. No really, I died and went to nerd heaven. I never set out to post videos to try to be John Piper or Tim Keller or Francis Chan. I just wanted to chat about real life issues and give perspective from a biblical view. The fact that someone of no faith listened and was interested in hearing more has made this journey worth it.

I don’t want to be swayed by comments [like quitting and starting again], but I do want to stay committed to why I started blogging in the first place: chronicle the revolutionary journey of loving God and loving people.

If you have any questions about life, culture, dating, love, or why peanut butter is the greatest thing in the world, feel free to ask. I’m not a theologian, but I passionately love God and His word. So, bring it on!

[*If there is a seminary out there that would love to sponsor me as a candidate for a Masters of Divinity, I will gladly sell my left ovary or bequeath you my brain for research. BIOLA or Fuller, what do you say?]

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