It’s been twenty years. Everything felt fine. It wasn’t until my dentist requested an x-ray that things got complicated.
Tap, tap. Poke. Scrape.
But twenty years unraveled in nothing more than twenty minutes of sitting in his automatic chair. Bianca, though you may feel fine, I have a feeling something isn’t right just beneath the surface. I think we need to remove your old fillings to make sure we’re still healthy.
First, I loathe when doctors say we. It’s just a nice way of trying to empathize or accept culpability so you don’t feel guilty.
Secondly, he was right.
More tapping. More poking. More scraping. He removed a filling I had since I was 11 years old. Twenty years after my old dentist poured silver amalgam in my mouth, I was encouraged to make sure I was still healthy and healed.
I knew he was right, but I was afraid of what my dentist would uncover. Would there be decay or broken fractures? Or would everything be healthy and whole?
After signing off on my life savings account and vowing to harvest my eggs to pay for my dental work, I sat in the plastic covered and thought about our hearts. Pain, decay, and sickness aren’t only physical.
The Bible teaches that Jesus came to heal our wounds, to bind up and heal our broken hearts, and to give us beauty instead of ashes and the oil of joy instead of mourning [Isaiah 61:1-3].
Many Christians read this scripture and know that God wants to heal us from physical and spiritual sickness, but there’s more to it than that. The truth is that our emotions are part of our makeup and they can become sick like any other part of us.
The world today is full of people who are suffering from emotional pain. The cause is often abuse, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, disappointment, judgment, criticism or other negative behavior by others. This emotional pain can be more devastating than physical pain because people feel that they have to hide it and pretend it isn’t real.
Tap, tap. Poke. Scrape. The moment we remove the fillings of our hearts is when we discover if we’re healthy. Or not. Maybe it’s been twenty years. Maybe it’s been five. You won’t know if there is decay or fractures unless you do some excavation. It’s costly. It’s slightly painful. And it’s scary. But it leads to health and a better smile. 😉
If you have an emotional wound in your life, you need to know that Jesus wants to heal you. Don’t make the mistake of thinking He is interested only in your spiritual and physical life. Or worse, pretending everything is fine because it’s neatly covered. Take your previous and current wounds to Him. Jesus wants to heal you everywhere you hurt and make sure old wounds are fully healed!
This blog was brought to you by my dentist. You know, just to make sure we’re healthy. 😉
You blogs are amazing! I needed to read this today. I am trying to heal from a broken heart and trying to let God fully take over. I decided to play with fire and thought I had it all planned out and when I thought everything was nice and pretty, it got destroyed. The person I was dating decided I was too nice and too sweet and he did not know what he wanted. It came out of nowhere. I was not in a desert and in seconds here I am in my own desertology. ( So glad I went to your conference). So dreams went out the door. I know I need to stop pretending I am okay. I tell everyone I am okay, it was no biggy, just a guy. But who am i kidding. I am really hurt and confused. I am glad I have the Lord in my life because I know this would be harder if I did not. I know he is picking up the pieces and will heal my heart. I am just praying that I can move on and let God fully take reign. No dating and just let God bring a man that is good. Most of all I want prayers to just stay focused on my promise land, which is walking hardcore with Jesus and getting my degree finally. Please pray for me Bianca.
I promise I’ll be praying for you!
Thank you!
@Angel I was ready to write a response to this and everything you said I wanted to say. I’m in the same place and although I pretend to everyone I’m okay. I’m not. I just learning to Let Go and Let God.
@ Bianca.. I love your blog. You always have the right things to say.
Number 1: I do need to see the dentist. i won’t say when the last time was… it’s bad. Number 2: My anxiety disorder IS a result of covering up my emotional wounds and hiding how I felt for years. Today I kept thinking about the madness at work and how it’s time to speak up about some issues because it does affect me mentally and physically. Since seeing my doctor and deciding not to go on medication, I fully have to trust that Jesus is my healer. Period. I know that God can use doctors and medicine but I didn’t want that. I need him and know that he is daily doing work in me to help me heal and cope. It’s pretty marvelous and hard. God bless you Bianca! YOu are amazing.
My recent dental visit was similar on the thought process. In fact, I’d thought about posting about it tomorrow. My problem is is that I didn’t really know there was pain until he went in and started fixing things. It was my first cavity he filled two years ago, and ever since then it’s been painful. But now we’ve devised a plan to completely heal it. Sometimes when you start fixing things, you notice that others will need fixed. And fixing can be painful, but in the end it’s totally worth it.
By the way, your post yesterday along with Jamie Wright’s totally rocked my world and left me without much sleep. Thanks for that. Seriously.
Bianca
Are you a fortune teller or what?!How on earth did you read my mind writing such a post?!
I have been putting a “brave happy face” to my friends for the last year pretending to them that I am strong and fine whereas on the inside I feel mad,angry,hurt,crappy and worthless.All this just because I don’t have a job! The “cavity of my wounds” has been killing me…..
Can you also please pray for me that God will provide a job?So my “cavity” can get healed?:)))
Thanx for being you
Love that you keep it real:))
Herta
Thanks for writing this, Bianca.
I needed it.
Oh, B.
I just had my first root canal treatment today. The dentist kept poking those needles in, saying “wow, there must be 9000 litres of pus and blood coming out of this thing…” and it felt great.
Pressure relieved. Pain gone.
And God makes us clean.
Still, I don’t like dentists
Did we all go to the dentist at the same time the way close sisters and girlfriends have their periods sync up? TMI… maybe… I went to the dentist too! My teeth are A-OK but doesn’t mean I didn’t need a check up. You blog reminded me that I needed a heart check up as to why I’m doing what I’m doing.
Gracias 🙂
T.M.I!!!! Hahahahahahaha! I love you. I really do.