He asks me out to lunch every day I’m at work. It’s the first things out of his smiling mouth at 7:00am in the morning. I’ll pull into the church parking lot and he’ll yell his invitation to me while he’s completing his janitorial responsibilities. Uncle Ivan, I haven’t even had breakfast. I don’t know where we are going to lunch, silly! He replies he knows. I reply I love him.
Uncle Ivan is 58 years old and has special needs. In the USA, special needs is a term used in clinical diagnostic and functional development to describe individuals who require assistance for disabilities that may be medical, mental, or psychological. The doctors have test results and statistics to explain how he has limited mental capacity and is incapable to layered emotional development due to an early-childhood head injury.
Yes, sometimes he drives me crazy. He talks too much and too loud. He thinks watching SportsCenter makes him a professional commentator for ESPN. And he think he’s as handsome as Jack Nicholson [really, he’s said that before]. But minus doctors opinions of his mental capacity or development, I’m reminded that though his brain may have suffered injury, his heart has not.
***
A dear co-worker went into the hospital this week for possible heart issues. It was scary and daunting and we all worried for his health. I care for him deeply and have known he and his family for over ten years. When I played soccer, he and his wife came to my high school games. Years later when his son graduated junior high school, I was there to congratulate him and celebrate the years we’ve all grown up together.
The news of his emergency room visit shocked me. I immediately prayed for him and his family and hoped for an email update regarding his status.
Upon his release from the hospital, he shared at our staff meeting that during his stay in the emergency room, a good friend called him to see how he was doing. He asked the diagnosis, rebuked him for his food choices, and told him to exercise to keep his heart in shape. He said only one person from staff called. He said it was Ivan.
***
I sat in my cold aluminum chair and felt hollow as I realized my special needs uncle who has been labeled as incapable of layered emotional development and mental capacity taught me the true defition of the phrase. To have special needs means that the person is SPECIAL and NEEDS to be here on earth to reveal layers of life only apparent to them.
Uncle Ivy, I know you’ll never read this, but I love you. And thank you for allowing me to see how special and needed you are.
Love,
B
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