sovereignty, online dating, and the church…

Jun 25, 2010 | 485 comments

If you’re not careful we’re gonna make a profile for you on an online dating site, the teens in youth group teased and laughed hysterically. As they jested, I made a mental note to myself that online dating is a joke; yes, it’s reserved for those who are truly dateless and desperate.

Further conversations with people in the church solidified my fear of even discussing the possibility of meeting someone through alternative measures. But as I collected research about women in the 21st century, it seemed like more and more data pointed to sad statistics. I wrote an article about it for a Christian publishing house. It was rejected. As was the idea that the Church should even discuss the issue.

But I couldn’t help of meander sites and see normal, real-life people succeeding at meeting viable candidates for holy matrimony. So I did was any normal girl would do. I convinced a friend to do it! Yup, I suckered in a co-worker to sign up.

Hesitant at first, she was SOLD after I regurgitated the statistic that 1 in every 6 couples in 2009 met online and were pathologically compatible based one a number of values and preferences [yes, I sounded like a commercial]. We openly discussed it, set parameters, found good pictures of her, and signed her up. Being the good friend I am, I was with her the entire way collecting data.

Lo and behold, she met Danny only after five weeks of joining an online site. They were married this past March.

So at this point you probably think I’m going to advocate online dating as the new rage and convince every single woman in the American Church to join. But I’m not. In fact, I’m not advocating anything. I simply want to talk about it. Discuss dating openly in a simple, easy, honest way.

Thanks to Jasmine, the story of how I met Matt is out of the bag. I knew at some point it would have to be discussed, but there are a host of fears which come with being vulnerable and honest. But Internet, someone has to speak about this!

As of late, it’s alarming to see the rate of women leaving the church to pursue partnership and love. Statistics show that most 24-36 year olds spend 42% of their day at a computer; the evangelical church is comprised more single women than single men [com’on men!]; the church is remaining silent on instructing men and women how to pursue each other in a Godly way.

Instead of remaining silent or casting stones behind people’s backs, lets discuss concerns, fears, apprehensions, or successes. God is in control of all. Yes, even the internet.

Fully commit your dating life into the hands of God. He cares about it.
Invite other people to walk this journey with you.
Set high standards.
Don’t compromise.
Be honest with yourself and about yourself.
Listen to the insight of others.

Like I said before, I’m not advocating eHarmony. I have waaaaay too many funny stories and reasons why the process is odd [one guy listed his profession as “Keeper of the Night”?!], but the discussion is needed. So jump on it!

Questions? Concerns? Success stories?

Africa or bust… 🙂