Dear Matthew,
Six months ago today, I ran down route 246 to the Santa Ynez mission, fell to my knees, and wept in the rose garden. I knew I wanted to marry you, but for a fleeting moment I was scared. Scared that you would leave me, scared you would reject me, scared that you would find out all there was to know about me and be bored. Or unamused. Or unattracted.
This morning I celebrate six months of falling forward and flailing towards each other and God. Marriage has been the hardest yet most rewarding thing I’ve ever had to do.
But beauty is birthed in struggle. And struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith. I’ve discovered our maturity is strengthened when we stand and face conflict… not run from it. I don’t want to be a runner anymore. I want to stand in front of our giants and face them with you by my side.
Thank you for relentlessly pursuing me to resolve problems, pushing me harder than anyone has, and holding me to the standards set only by myself. As I left the Santa Ynez mission on September 7th, 2010, I vowed to God that I would stay with you until I exhaled my last breath or God removes you from me. I’ve kept my promise and will continue to uphold my vow until my very last breath…
Here’s to falling forward, redeeming our stories, and writing great adventures!
I love you more than anything in the whole wide world,
Bianca Olthoff
God bless you and your husband Bianca! Stay strong and faithful and everything else will fall in its place.
Love you guys! Congratulations!
Awesome and well put! Thank you for being honest on your new journey in life being Married!
Congratulations!
Wow- I love this! Congratulations!
Love this! Praying that you two will always enjoy a God blessed marriage!!
Ahhh, I loved this…can I just say… I so relate to this…."My aversion to conflict and struggle has been—shall we say—challenged in marriage." And this too, "But beauty is birthed in struggle. And struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith. I’ve discovered our maturity is strengthened when we stand and face conflict…"
Thanks for your words today- I know they were for your hubby- but they kinda explain what's been going on in me after a year and a half of marriage.
Enjoy the next 6 months- it gets even better!!
Thanks, Charissa! I know it gets better. It already has 🙂
Congrats guys!! May God keep blessing your lives everyday!! 😀
Beautiful Bianca!! Congratsss!
You are such a talented writer. And you two are adorable (this picture just makes me laugh!). Congrats not only on finding and commiting to each other but faithfully and obediently continually moving toward one another and towards God. Many blessings for the next six months… and for the many many more that follow!
Hi Bianca,your post was awesome and very true. Hold on to each other and enjoy your journey. Ups and downs will make your marriage stronger, put the Lord first and he will see you guys through ANYTHING. Today is mine and Warners 19th year anniversary, God has been very gracious to us.) Always enjoy each other.
I totally remember being there 19 years ago at Edwards Mansion! I also remember the day you and Warner got into this blow out fight and Warner came to the house so frustrated. My dad was so loving and told him this was just a transition season. He words to Warner also blessed me. Love you and Warner so much 🙂
Bianca mija, that is so beautiful and will encourage others to keep going forward in their commitments they have set before the Lord. May the Lord continue blessing you and Matt and using you both for His glory.
Love to you,
Debbie Martinez
West Covina
Thank you, Deb! It means so much to me 🙂
Bianca, sounds like marriage to me, you dont know when i firt got married um ( 15 years ago) every arguement we got into, I packed and put my stuff in my car he would go to my car and unpack my stuff while telling me you cant do this we are married!! those words now mean so much to me and now we discuss and love so much more than we ever have. He has loved me at my worse and shown me things about myself I was afraid to admit.
God bless you Bianca and Matt !
Genevieve
This is awesome!:) And congratulations!
YAY! {that's the best word I could come up with to convey my happiness for you two!!}
May you continue to learn from each other and lean on the ROCK!
congratulations..
whoohooo! congrats!! xoxo
Thanks Keely! Glad you're home safe and sound… beward of bed bugs 😉
Awesome! Reccently I played out a scene in my head after my husband and I argued on how I was going to leave. There was no biblical grounds and the Lord kept telling me to forgive him as he forgives us. I did and continue to do so cause sometimes hubby forgives me.
Love, Respect and Forgiveness.
Happy Anniversary and wish I could tell you marriage is drama free, its not. 🙂
Yes, there’s nothing like marriage to hold a mirror up to who we really are. And no where safer to make that discovery. Thanks for sharing a peek with the rest of us. We all need the reminder!
I too am married to the most amazing man in the world FOR ME. I would never tell someone that our marriage is easy, or even that it gets better with time, in all honesty I think it is a lot of ups and downs. Good times and hard times. But through each moment and time, our love is there and grows and changes into something that I never imagined. I am SO thankful for the man God united me with! I can tell you though with SO MUCH CONFIDENCE that if you are united in Christ, those ups and downs are blessed by God!!! Each time my hubby and I have a fight, disagreement, uncomfortable moment, it is usually because God is humbling one (or both) of us, making us stronger in Him as well as with each other. God brought me to a man who constantly makes me a better person with more faith. It sounds like God has united you to that man for you as well! What a huge blessing Bianca!! As hard as it is, what more could we ask for? To be growing closer to God each day! Woohoo! I praise God for your marriage! I praise God for your honesty in marriage!! What a blessing you are to glorify God in this way, with truth. I hope in the hard times you will continue to be filled with truth and reach out for prayer. When I got married I asked a room full of "grey haired" women who had all been married 30+ years what their advice for marriage was. Almost every woman in the room said, A LOT OF PRAYER. I will pray for you today Bianca!!
Woo, 6 months!!! Congratulations:)
Hi Bianca, just wanted to say that I love this post. I too am a newlywed and I am actually on my honeymoon as I am writing this. My husband and I got married in February and I have experienced similar struggles and experiences in my relationship (I think). I was a single woman (for a long time) prior to meeting my husband so when I found out the age difference between Dave and myself and also the fact that he had 2 children, I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. I thought marriage came with a “happy ever after” ending until I realized that it takes A LOT of work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and my step kids but it’s a HUGE adjustment for a long time single woman to become instant Mom while learning how to be a wife. I too am guilty of being a runner also so seeing this post and your outlook on the future is very encouraging. Thank you for your honesty and for the encouragement.
PS my friend Julie Arellanes introduced me to your blog and I love it! I met you the Women’s retreat last year. Montebello’s retreats are the BEST!!!
So sweet…Happy 6 month wedding anniversary….may the rest of your life be spent pursuing your maker and may your love for Him draw you closer to each other.
How beautiful.
Marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done too.
So different than what I was imagining.
Totally worth it though : )
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