We sat on the beach, faces caressed by the wind, and watched people pack their belongings. The waves rolled up and down, the birds flew back and forth, the sun disappeared. But we sat unmoved. Steadfast. Like our friendship.
When we’re together, we do what old friends do: talk about the past we share and fill each other in on the daily present we no longer share. They are my physical yearbook, lives lived long ago and memories cemented in black and white. Though completely different and eclectic, we’re all very similar. It’s really odd when one of my friends stands at 6’1” with blond hair and blue eyes and people ask if we’re related. I don’t think they see our physical bond, but the emotional connection we all share.
Bomb Squad minus Melanie
Catching up over lunch wasn’t enough time to unpack where we were, where we’ve been, and where we want to be. Lives have changed so much in the past seventeen years. No longer are our conversations about football games and lunch rallies, chemistry and algebra, prom and driver’s licenses. We needed the emptiness of the beach to fill each other in on our lives.
Though short one friend, we spoke about the type of women we are. High-strung, get-her-done, over-achievers. Matt still doesn’t understand our bond and finds it hilariously dorky we still refer to ourselves with our high school nickname. [He just doesn’t get it.] When it came time to plan our wedding, Matt made an excel spread sheet with possible dates. I automatically omitted two out of the five dates because any one of them might not be able to make the perspective dates the rest of my friends could. He just shook his head. [Like I said, he doesn’t get it.]
But like oak trees, time has made us stronger. We are each other’s sounding boards, advisers, therapists, and event planners [We’ve decided that I’m the most emotional one of the group, so I’ll probably just cry when they have a problem. Yes, I annoy myself.]
Our friendship has endured loss of a parent, career changes, weddings, breakups, boyfriends, and bad hair. In spite of our bond, we are separated by many miles. Miles that seem too far for a phone call or too late for an email.
We left the empty beach filled with our memories and fears and secrets to be kept by the waves rolling up and down and birds flying back and forth. After our time spent together, I drove home thinking that every woman battles with loneliness at one point or another. Married, single, divorced, widowed, or a nun, we can be filled and happy one moment, then walk into a room full of people and feel horribly alone. In that moment, you want someone to know you. To grab your hand and say, Hey, I saved you a seat!
Tomorrow I’m going to make a list of what it takes to be a friend. I’ll be the first to admit, friendship is hard. And scary. And I don’t do it right, but I’m trying. And don’t worry… I’ll save you a seat. 😉
It's such a blessing to have friendships that are that strong and are like family. What a lovely message this conveys..and I am blessed and lucky to have a few myself and am so thankful they were brought into my life when for a long time no one saved me a seat. Thanks for sharing.
I always feel like you have a seat for me…
So glad you had a great day with your friends. Can't wait for my own Bianca catch-up time next week. 🙂
Beautiful… the past few days I find myself missing my friends in L.A. more than ever before.
You make my heart smile (and my eyes water..) when you put into words what my mouth cannot express. Like chicken soup for a cold, friends are the best remedy to fight off a case of the lonelies.
Beautiful! I really, really needed to hear this. I was just thinking about a friendship I cherished and unfortunately is no longer there. But through this blog post I was reminded to be the best friend I know how to be and care for those friendships I do have. Bitter sweet.
Love this! This reminds me of my best friends. I've been friends with the same girls for the last 16 years (since 1st grade) and because our lives are SO busy (one is married, one has a son, and one lives in Egypt aka the I.E) we rarely get together but when we do, it is the greatest feeling ever! I've always told them that God didn't make us sisters by blood, by by love instead 🙂
And I am totally the emotional one of the group and proud of it! 😉
B, I love your squad! You are a team of 5 amazing women and being friends through thick and thin is pretty incredible for nearly 2 decades! True bonds are what endure, thanks for the glimpse into the circle and for using your voices for a much higher purpose, you lead that charge well! Love your heart for teaching and all of your hearts for the least of these!
lah-lah-love you!
so sweet!!! =) xo
Wow. You are incredibly gifted in expressing your thoughts through your words. I feel lucky that you are in my life. We missed you last night but I’m so glad you got the chance to spend time with them.
I'm glad you're saving me a seat because I'm really in the "in-between" zone when it comes to those friends who really know you and are there for you.
Also – I think I invited you to a game of "words with friends." At least, I think it's you….
B, always inspiring 🙂 love this post….<3
wow Bianca this post seems to me like a letter send from God to mr, yesterday night i slept in my car, had a huge fight with my husband he hurt me to the point I yelled at him that i hated him, then sleeping in the car i felt so lonely , i dont have friend because i didnt keep communication after i got married and i dont have family here so i didnt have any place to go, i wish i could have keep a good friend close and have somebody to tell me that everything would be allright and hold my hand tight while i fought my tears, but nothing it was just me myself and I, all alone , its the scariest thing i have ever felt loneliness and abandon .. this post was sent to me. the friendless person
Lovely post my friend! Can’t wait to read tomorrow.
Since I lost a friend about 7 years ago to the Lord’s prunning I haven’t let myself open up to friends as much as with this last friendship. =( So sad, but walls go up and I’m quick to say ‘goodbye’ to avoid hurt. I can’t seem to stop doing that with some. Some friends hurt you to the core of your being and others it’s so easy to just share your feelings with to resolve it and move on. Sometimes it makes me just want superficial friendships to avoid the hurt. =(
This makes me thankful all over again for my girls here. Our relationships have been growing for about the same amount of time, and it just keeps getting better as we go deeper. I'd totally plan my wedding around them and the birth of my first child, if I could!!! I pray that God continues to bless your friendships as He has mine.
I am constantly browsing online for ideas that can facilitate me.
that's beautiful, Bianca! 🙂
I'm happy God has blessed you and your sister with friends who stick closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).
May God strengthen your friendship bond in Jesus Christ.
🙂
Thank you so much for this! I'm a freshmen in college and I just found out my best friend won't be here next year. It kinda feels like she's never going to be a part of my life again. This is so encouraging to hear how you've stayed in touch.
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