Boys have always alluded me. They are like an enigma. A conundrum. A RuPaul fashion show. No matter how hard I try to make sense of them, my understanding ends up more like a Picasso than a Michelangelo. You know, disjointed, slightly off, and kinda-sorta-weird looking.
As I’m stumbling to understand men (my new husband, my father, my brother, my step-son, my boss, my local grocery market butcher), I’m realizing how short I fall in being gentle with their psyche. As friends, co-workers, spouses, siblings, and Christians, we ought to think highly of others and be understanding of their needs.
Because I love sharing new revelations with my friends (and my trusted eFriends), here’s a list I put together based on a book I’m re-reading from a Harvard researcher and over 4,000 American men.
- Men need respect. Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.
- Men are insecure. Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like impostors and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.
- Men are providers. Even if you personally made enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden men feel to provide.
- Men want more sex. Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life.
- Men are visual. Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women.
- Men don’t want to be unromantic. Actually, most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic—but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed.
- Men care about appearance. You don’t need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself—and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you.
If you’re a man, will you PLEASE help me understand why you are the way you are? What ways can we understand you better? Would you agree with the seven revelations Dr. Feldhahn concluded?
The last thing we need is for ME to try to make sense of men.
Disjointed, slightly off, and kinda-sorta-weird looking,
B
What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball? The Philadelphia Beagles!
Exactly what I’d been hunting for. Pretty well-timed insight for my situation. Many thanks your time and effort, and doing this. Thanks for the tips.
Let the dead bury the dead
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