The wooden floorboards creaked as I tiptoed into the living room behind the Christmas tree where Mom hid the good presents. The small, green box called to me like a siren at sea and I couldn’t resist temptation. Stuffing the green box into my pajamas was akin to Indiana Jones’ daredevil moves in Raiders of the Lost Ark; but like Indiana, I escaped unscathed.
On the ledge of the bathtub, I quietly pulled back the gift wrapping and pulled out the box perfectly, unharming the creases in the wrapping paper. I silently gasped while lifting the top of the jewelry box, revealing the most beautiful gold-faced watch with brown leather band.
It was a gift from my Uncle Ivan who knew I had difficulty telling the time from day to night. To aid in my troubles, the face of the watch displayed an ornate sun during the day and a modern moon at night. It was perfect and beautiful and greater than anything I had ever been given.
Slipping the box back in the gift wrap and reattaching the tape, I casually left the bathroom and placed the gift beneath the tree. And no one knew.
On Christmas morning in 1988 I sat with the green box in my hand and loved what was inside. It was perfect and beautiful and the greatest gift ever given to me. But I knew what was inside and I felt ashamed. In front of my family I pretended to be excited but my acting was sub-par.
Even today I regret the decision to open my gift before I was suppose to.
Surprise Bridal Shower (photo: Cindy Alvarez)
This past Saturday I sat in the presence of family members and friends at a surprise bridal shower. As I walked through the doors and saw of sea of smiling faces, I was overwhelmed by love and celebration. Through the course of the shower, words poured over me, hugs were given, and gifts to make any woman blush were opened.
Mom announced to everyone how much I like gifts and surprises while everyone laughed. She blushed and covered certain gifts I held up proudly. In a nanosecond I was reminded of Christmas circa 1988 and the gift I opened when I wasn’t suppose to. I couldn’t resist. I couldn’t keep quiet.
I shared my watch story. I shared about the beauty of the gift and the sadness I bore opening it before it was time. I shared my regret. But in the presence of God, family, and friends, I proudly announced the beauty and excitement I get to share with my future husband as we get to unwrap a special gift I’ve never shared or opened with anyone else.
That is what a shower is all about! We throw showers so we can shower our friends with love, rejoice in holy matrimony, and celebrate sanctified sex! Amen, hallelujah, and ThankYouSweetBabyJesus 😉
- What gifts have you regrettably unwrapped? Feel free to share your story 🙂
- If you’ve opened the gift of sex, have you restored the gift by wrapping it back up?
- If anyone has words of restoration or encouragement, you have permission to speak freely!
Amazing! I'm so bummed I wasn't able to come… I know it was fabulous. You'll still be getting a certain gift from me 😉
I am so proud of you and I think it's amazing and beautiful and I am THRILLED for you and Matt and your honeymoon! It's going to be incredible!
LOVE you friend! xoxo
Thanks so much, friend!
Wow…a timely message to kick me square in my spiritual wedding tackle. (To, you know, use a wedding related thing.)
I've been under mental assault all day from Satan because I'm watching friends and friends of friends and people on twitter being given blessing after blessing after blessing today. God is just pouring himself out in good things to others and I'm sitting here with the same old same old. Now, I know He's here and working in my life but it's still hard to see someone being given that which I think is the gift I want to receive from God. (It's not lost on me that this attack's coming on a day where I posted a blog entry praising God for moving even if it wasn't in a "big" way.)
I want to see what's in my gift. I want to just see the gift. Then I read your post and it's a reminder that I've spent my life trying to make my own gift or see what God has stored instead of just waiting for Him to give it to me at the right time and soaking in the joy and blessing. Obviously, it's not my time for my gift from Him or I would be receiving it. So I have to be content in knowing His timing is perfect and someday it will be my day to dance with joy at the gift I've received.
Thanks, B. 🙂
His timing is far better than ours. Did you read Lindsey Nobles' post today? Its a good word for you too 🙂
Mad love, J.
It's not easy….but it is the most beautiful gift you can give to your husband. It's perfect. 🙂
I can totally top the Christmas story – one year I found all my Christmas presents my Mum had hidden in a closet, opened the end of them all to see what they were before resealing them. Of course, one look and my Mum noticed they'd been opened and it has gone down in history as the year I ruined Christmas! Ahh, the good old days!
I'm so pleased you had such a great surprise shower – such good friends and family are truly a blessing. Exciting times!
Suzanne
My "gift was stolen from me" so I had nothing to offer my Husband. We spoke of this and how it affects me. Yet, he is very tender and loving and understandable of my desire to give him something that I could never give him. But says that He is blessed with what I am able to give him…all that I am, all that is left. He has become my best friend….my boy friend for life! hehe
Neither of us were or are perfect, we made mistakes, we have grown to understand different. We were of the world and acted like the rest, of which I regret, But I know that God has blessed us with a love like no other.
I pray that this spreads like wild fire and our unmarried Men and Women remain pure until Marriage. Give thyself only unto Him..Give thyself only unto Her.
I wish I has been taught this as a youngster, some things would have been different.
Your shower was amazingly beautiful. Your words….beautiful.
Love ya!
Wow…this is a beautiful picture of how God meant for us to unwrap our gifts. (I am cheesing myself out with this language.)
I have made a lot (i mean not a lot, a lot, but enough a lot) bad decisions in this area. I have redeemed them but do I feel like I have restored myself in it? Not sure. Not even sure if that makes sense. Just something else for us to dish about soon!
Wish you could see me blushing over here…
Maybe I should have said they have been redeemed? Whatevs, you know what I was TRYING to say. Hopefully.
im thankful that the God i serve is a God of 2nd chances. coz being a single mother…it's kind of obvious that my gift had been "opened" already.
just thankful that after i came to know Christ..i've embraced the beauty of keeping the marriage bed pure and really embracing celibacy.
im glad that i am able to show that example to my son but also show him the beauty of a God who loves to take what the devil made for harm and redeem the situation to make it a beautiful story.
Second chances FOR SURE! Matt is divorced, single dad who LOVES God and we've been so blessed to live-out SECOND CHANCES 🙂
xoxo
oh wow…i didn't know he was a single dad! =] you guys have a great story for sure! our God is indeed a God of redemption =]
OOOOO me too!
I am divorced but had saved myself for marriage. I have a couple of friends who have been divorced that now have decided they don't need to be married for sex since they've already had it.
My thinking is that I saved it for a guy that ended up being a jerk and taking advantage of me and my trust and my gift… so why wouldn't I give that same gift to a man that I adore and am going to spend the rest of my life with?
I am now engaged again and planning a wedding to a man who became a Christian 12 years ago (and is a single dad) and hasn't had sex in 12 years since he became a Christian! I know it will be special for both of us!
Second chances. Amazing.
Our first Christmas as a married couple I peeked my husband's email and saw what he bought for me online. I was so overcome with guilt I confessed that night. Such a bummer. Totally ruined the surprise and totally disappointed him.
When I was leaving my job, family, church, state to marry Earl and move to CA my coworkers bought a cake for me and decorated it with cherries in honor of my wedding night. So great to save that gift. I have a friend who would literally FLEE the room if things became too hot before they got married. She would lock herself in the bathroom until they both calmed down 🙂
I opened my "gift" before I realized what a gift it was. A time when, sadly, like a lot of young girls it seemed to be more of a liability than a treasure. I have since drawn close to God and as a single mom I now know that his grace and love covers me and redeems what I cannot change. I am just so blessed to know it now. Living a life for Him comes at a cost – it's not easy, but the beauty is…. whatever we have to sacrifice – (including waiting to use "the gift" when we've spoiled the surprise) can't compare to what He has for us!! Blessed by your blog!!!
You are such an inspiration! As a 20 year old college student, I know I am doing the right thing by waiting.. even though it feels like I am the only one. But when I do eventually get married, I want to be able to say, "I loved you before I knew you. THAT'S why I waited for you." Love it!
awesome post and such a beautiful picture of that kind of gift that we can give. i am SO thankful that God is a God who restores and redeems even when we have fallen, but the righteous man gets back up and that He is the one who can wrap our gifts back up and make it new. i know i'm definitely trusting and asking God to continue to restore and redeem my own gift even though it had been opened.
I am 37 years and still waiting for true love and marriage. Thanks for the encouragement to continue to wait on God.
I will forevr regret having sex with my boyfriend. I will forever regret having sex with my husband before marriage AS A CHRISTIAN!
God will not allow you to go without conequences. my hubby and I are witnesses to that. We serve a awesome, loving, forgiving God and we will not take that for granted again.
He will restore you if you let him. He will love on you if you allow yourself to be loved and he will forgive you.. if you forgive yourself.
Go and sin no more…. Jesus
I opened my gift of sex years before marriage. It was a sad day and I was deeply disappointed in myself because I was no longer a virgin. To make matters worse it wasn't a one time thing. It became harder to say no to sex and for the next 4 1/2 years my boyfriend and I were sexually active. I was so blinded by lust that I even looked for it in other guys, not realizing that I was hurting my boyfriend.
In September 2007 I was born again. I confessed my sins and immediately I was healed from all sexual desires. Sex was no longer a struggle, there was no desire for it, and if confronted by it….I ran like Joseph ran from Potiphar's wife.
Its amazing that before being born again my boyfriend and I tried so many times to stop having sex, but we always fell into temptation. The problem was that we were trying on our own. After being born again, it was God that lifted that sin from us and made us virgins again until we married 2 1/2 years later.
I'm living proof of God's healing power. I was the woman from Proverbs 5, and through His grace was forgiven and restored. If you struggle with sex, all you have to do is ask God for help.
Your story gives me hope that I can overcome the overwhelming desire to have sex outside of marriage. The morning after I lost my virginity I cried like never before, felt as though I had lost a part of me, after knowingly having betrayed God. I was 17. At 20 I have tried so many times to stop but ashamedly continue to fall in order to suppress the pain of what I have done/ the fear of losing my boyfriend. I don't want to continue seeing sex as a demon, but rather as the precious gift from God that it is.
Bianca, your words have been echoing in my ear, "find someone you can partner with in purity." Knowing he wasn't a Christian from the get-go, my wish was to be a light to him as a Christian, bringing him closer to God, my aim still is. I thought I could help him but now feel foolish and helpless that I ended up giving in to his side. Falling into this sin has set such a poor example to him of what it means to be a Christian, I don't know how to forgive myself or how to help us out of it and continue to seek God. Or if I really should be finding someone else who understands what it means to 'partner in purity.'
I pray about all this daily, but continue to struggle. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express these thoughts, as I have never dared to speak of it to anyone. Even if no one reads this I'm glad to get this out of my head even if it just means being accountable to a blog.
Bianca thank you for talking about these issues. What I don't understand is why many churches just don't talk about this stuff. I mean, I grew up in a Christian home with very conservative parents going to church often enough, but not once was I talked to openly about sex and what it means as a Christian. My hope is that through individuals like you Bianca, youth and adults alike are saved from falling into this sin by knowing it is okay and healthy to talk about it! One verse that continues to plague me is Hosea 4:6 "my people perish from a lack of knowledge." I pray that initiating conversation on the topic of sex can change a society plagued by a lack of knowledge and receptiveness for the better.
My Gift was stolen at very short age and I was ashame with my husband till these days, i wish i could have had this special moment for him but somebody stole it.. = (
What gifts have you regrettably unwrapped?
Definitely the gift of sex. I gave into that temptation a long time ago and I've had bouts with stopping and then falling off of the bandwagon again.
If you’ve opened the gift of sex, have you restored the gift by wrapping it back up?
I would say that I have, but the temptation arises when I have a mate, not when I'm single. It's easy not to do it while I'm single, but when I'm dating someone it's much much harder. I can honestly say that I've tried and failed, but I'm not giving up on myself or God to completely restore me. It all starts with the decision, and I've taken that first step. =)
Bianca, what a beautiful way to communicate this truth! It is a gift from a God who is the giver of all things good!
I opened mine due to peer pressure, I think. I always said I wouldn't until marriage, and then, at 16, my friends and my boyfriends MOTHER were telling me I should be sleeping with him. So, I did.
I moved away, and met the guy who would be my husband. And once you've "sneaked a peek" once, it makes it so much easier to do it again. I obviously eventually married Adam, but that was after a son and a whole lot of other pain.
But God does redeem. Adam and I find we can connect with youth on a level that the "good" *grin* people can't. We are able to use our story to tell them just how much damage it does. Not in a do as we say, not as we did type thing, but in a "We know… take from our experience" type way. Even though we married, it was HARD, and honestly, it's because we were intimate before we were supposed to be. We can relate to them… and it's such a blessing, because they KNOW they can come talk to us about anything, and we will not judge them, and we will understand what they are going through.
God is good. 🙂
oh girl… we've got a pent up conversation waiting to happen over this one. but i love the way God brought that memory back to you in such a redemptive way.
and i'm all smiles over how well-loved you were at that shower!
Oh Bianca. That was so beautifully said and illustrated.
i am in love with this post! i have been dying to ask what were your opinions about sex and marriage, but i was too shy to ask about it… i am 20 years old and waiting for marriage to give my gift away. sometimes i get a little scared that i won't find somebody willing to wait for me until marriage, but i am positive i will find that special someone that understands 🙂 thank you!
What a great post! I "unwrapped the gift" before I was suppose to, and I have dealt with a lot of hurt, confusion, and many other emotions since. But, God is good and turns what may seem like bad situations into the most beautiful blessings! I actually started writing about my story and other things I've been dealing with on my blog, which I'll link to my comment for any who might find encouragement by reading my story.
Congratulations to you on saving your gift for the right time! I have to admit, I'm jealous I didn't do the same.
I'm still reeling over the fact you will be having it soon! ahh!! i'm sad i wasn't at the shower…hope it was amazing!
Aw you used my pic! What a beautiful shower, we love you so much!!!!
Love this!!!! You are so right. We forget what the whole purpose of what bridal "showers" are all about. It is about celebrating what God has done and is doing in the bride and with the marriage and to celebrate the beautiful sanctified, pure sex between man and woman, husband and wife. The world forgets (or chooses to reject) that God created sex. Greg Laurie said he could have made procreation husband pushes button on wife's forehead and boom, a child is impanted and begins to grow. God could have done this any way He wanted…but he allowed us to enjoy our spouses intimately and shamelessly forever in the marriage covenant. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
This post was very beautiful. Thank you for sharing and encouraging others to share. When I was a teenager, I tried to preserve the gift, but when I went off to college, I unwrapped that gift of sex. I struggled with the clash between my beliefs and my actions, and even argued with my then-boyfriend over it. Today I'm in my late 20s, and have decided to restore that gift and wrap it back up. It actually makes me feel so happy (in terms of being at peace with myself, and getting rid of that internal conflict), and the man in my life I have today is totally supportive and on the same page with me.
GREAT story Bianca. Congrats!
Ohhh what a fun surprise!! Sex in marriage is seriously the best idea God ever created!!
I am so thankful that it is a present I didn't open early. But indeed, God is all about restoring that precious gift to us… there was still issues I had to work through about sex before my wedding day. I too wrote about this the other day on my engaged/newlyweds blog 🙂
Enjoy the anticipation and excitement Bianca!
I love this, so timeless and so needed….wish I read this 15 years ago and 'got it'. Here's a post I wrote encourage you to keep telling this story, it's worth it!
http://texascarlislefamily.blogspot.com/2010/07/l…
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