There’s something about building and creating with screws, nuts, and bolts we can’t put a language around. Whether it’s the assembly or adoration of our projects, IKEA has tapped into the psychology of labor creating a meaningful experience.

A professor—and graduate from Massachusetts Institute of Technology—began researching the affinity we have towards projects we successfully complete. [If you’re anything like me, you’ll end up inevitably having leftover screws or bolts which IKEA obviously gave me by accident.] Whether lopsided or sometimes uneven, we are more inclined to admire our work because we played a hand in the assembly. Basically, labor creates value.

“By the time you finish struggling with the instructions, you like it more,” said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at Duke University.

In addition to admiring our labor, we are more prone to share the valuable work we created with those around us. Oh this modern bookshelf suspended on my wall? Yeah, I built it. But get this: the psychology of affirmation for successfully completed work inspires others to take on similar tasks.

Case in point:
My freshman year of college a dorm mate successfully [or not so successfully] built a shelf for her shoes. I was so impressed with her Tim-The-Toolman-Taylor skills that I set out to build my very own shoe shelf and boast of my awesome craftsman skills. THIS SHELF WAS MY BY MY HANDS! MY GLORIOUS HANDS! Or something like that.

There clinical term for this is coined The Ikea Effect; labor creates meaning.

As I dug deeper into the research, I couldn’t help but parallel the effect of labor into our personal relationships. Labor creates meaning. In order for us to find value in our relationships, we must work at it. If this initial effects of this theory are correct, not only will we admire and be loyal to our relationships, they will stand as a model for others to follow.

When I asked my mom how she has remained married for over 35 years, endured two bouts with cancer, survived rearing five children, and dedicated ministry for over 30 years, she simply responds, Well, we just didn’t give up. As simplistic as the phrase is, the weight and power of the words are the directions to building something worth meaning. We are all handed nuts, bolts, screws, and material to build our relationships. The question is whether or not we will complete it.

In a moment of strained frustration, I called a friend and asked her why we were off. You know that feeling—it’s like when you are standing five feet from someone you know yet you can’t recognize them and you are speaking different languages. Yeah, that feeling. Through a series of awkward questions and stammered responses I told her, Look, we both know this feels off. But we’re in each other’s lives for a reason. And because of that simple reason, I’m willing to fight to make our friendship work. I want to be your friend for a really long time. So if you think we can keep on being fake with each other, I’m telling you we can’t. And with that move, another bolt tightened up a screw in the creation called friendship we were building. Labor creates meaning.

If the two most important things in life are loving our Creator with every fiber of our being and being in relationship [Luke 10:27], then let’s build our horizontal and vertical relationships with legitimate care and loyalty. May people admire our relationships—perhaps slightly uneven or lopsided at times—and be inspired to create their own meaningful experiences. Why? Because labor creates meaning.

Work hard, friends. The world is watching.