How do you handle being a step-parent, full-time employee, wife, and friend. I’m a new stepmom and I feel like I don’t have balance. You seem to be doing it so well, so cough it up! What are your secrets.  –Jen, Wisconsin

Jen from Wisconsin, if you’re looking for me to cough up anything, it’s going to be as comfortable as a man going in for a hernia examination. *Cough, cough* But I will lay myself on the train tracks of life to save any other overwhelmed woman out there. 😉

For this installment of Q&A, I will basically hang my naked body on display in the Womanhood Hall of Shame. Emily Post would rock herself in a corner and weep at my lack of proper etiquette when it comes to balance, motherhood, and social life, but we all know I love to keep it real.

Myth #1: Women must have balance. The only people who need to have perfect balance are tight-rope walkers. I have yet to meet one woman who has everything balanced, but I have met successful and organized women who know how to juggle. Know what’s in your hands while being able to look around for what’s next so you don’t drop important things.

Though this is true for women in any life stage, I think this is intensified when you have children. What was easy to cover-up and manage while I was single, is highlighted and exposed as a mom. Balance is a great ability if you are one person, on one track, with one goal. But most people have multiple things to manage and different paths to get there. Learn to hold, love, and care for the things in your hands, but be ready to catch the next thing thrown at you.

Myth #2: Godly women have it all woman together. I would totally want to be the woman who has it all together. Yup, I want to be the woman who is up at 4:00am to pray and read her One-Year bible, make a gluten-free, dairy-free, carb-free breakfast, and start her morning levitating on holiness. Buuuuuuut, that woman exists only in my mind. Sure there are people who can do that, but there are other demands like term papers, project deadlines, emails, kids, friends, pets, and cleaning that complicate our perfectly poised life.

There are seasons in the year and there are season in life. We need to give ourselves grace when we have to pull away from social activities to focus on family. We need to understand it’s ok to say no to joining another ministry at church if you need to focus on recharging your private life. We need the license to admit when we are falling to pieces and need some help. Perfection is a myth, friends.

Myth #3: Lists are passé. I know, I know, lists are outdated, but I like them. So there. And since my list must always have three, I will end with some thoughts on having-it-all-together and the idea of perfection.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, “Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” Western thinking causes man to reach for more, do more, want more, achieve more. But what if perfection is achieved not at the beginning of more but at the end of ourselves? What if our understanding of perfection rests not on our shoulders, but on the One who laid his beaten, bruised, and bloodly shoulders on a cross? When there is nothing left to take away—when we’ve been stripped of all we have—there is perfection. And His name is Jesus.

Thanks for the questions, Jen! If you have any other thoughts or comments on “having it all together” feel free to chat! 🙂