Are you the type of person who is asked out on dates often? Or were your single years filled with names on your dance card or “pokes” on Facebook? Dating and relationships are difficult in general, but you add Church and Christians into the mix and it’s a whole other level of complication!
- Does he hang out with other women or go to coffee with them? Stay away from that player!
- Does she read her bible everyday? If not, cast that Jezebel far from you!
- Are you guys going out with accountability? Don’t give room for a Bathsheba moment!
I have no shame admitting that I was rarely asked out when I was single. Sure as a kid I wore thick glasses, was overweight, and wore windbreaker jackets like it was haute couture, but I don’t think that had anything to do with it. I’m holding onto the fact that I was too busy serving the poor, feeding the needy, finding a cure for cancer to be bothered with dating [at least that’s what I’m going to tell my children].
In several blog posts, I want to get some feedback and discuss what dating looks like in the Christian landscape. Have you been asked out in church? Have you ever invited someone out for coffee as a bating mechanism for a date? What ways can dating be successful for Christians?
As I write this I’m reminded of the time a guy at a Christian conference came up to me, introduced himself and his swag, and asked if I would water his camels. NO JOKE. I think that was the all-time worst pickup line ever, but in case you have doubts, I’ve included these for your reading pleasure! 🙂
- Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives… because he never met you.
- For you I would slay two Goliaths.
- I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.
- The word says “Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry”—how about dinner?
- You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.
- Is this the transfiguration? Because you are glowing.
- Mark Driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory.
- How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?
- How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?
- I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.
- I just don’t feel called to celibacy.
- I’m a Proverbs 32 kind of guy and you’re a Proverbs 31 kinda woman…
- Let me sell you an indulgence because it’s a sin to look as good as you do.
- Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.
- When I read Philippians 4:8, I think about you.
- I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you… and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder
- Look, you’re nearly 22. Most christians are three years into marriage by now… just settle for me.
- Do you need prayer? Because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.
- Last night I was reading the book of Numbers and realized I didn’t have yours.
Let’s talk. Dating: does it work? If so, how? If you’re single, what are you doing about it? If you’re married, what do you see and how would you change it? Thanks guys!
My husband and I met in church when I was trying to heal over a long time crush that was never going to pan out. I wanted time on my own with The Lord. So I asked Gerard to wait (which only led to him pursuing me for 4 months). I told him I didn’t want to date another person’s potential spouse-I was done chasing that down. In the end, he spoke with our pastor in a 5 min. Conversation where my pastor asked his intentions and if his job could support a family. With that green light, we started dating and didn’t have our first good night peck of a kiss until 3 months in. A year from there, we were married.:)
I know people say that in dating you learn what you want in a future spouse, but the Bible lays it down so that we already know those answers without our hearts getting trampled on. Best advice for seeing if someone is The One? Serve alongside them and see if you both want to honor The Lord and each other on the same ways.
I’m currently single and sadly my current church has no single guys my age. So the dating scene has been well horrible..haha I did recently give Christian Mingle a try. Still not 100 percent about it. I guess i’ve always hoped I’d meet a guy at church but that hasn’t worked for me.
Hello,
Just wanted to share this. This Series of teaching on PURELIFE, Christians & Dating/ or not Dating has revolutionized my mindset on the subject. Please share with others.
http://www.kcm.org/media/webcast/kellie-copeland-swisher/080905-pure-life-choosing-gods-plan
http://www.kcm.org/media/webcast/kellie-copeland-swisher-and-lisa-bevere/071015-purity-is-power
I’m 28 and single, and in the very little sliver of Christian dating I’ve experienced, I’ve found it’s wildly different with virtually every person. I seem to notice there are two factions with opposing sides that, to me, make up a large majority of non-married Christians:
1. The serial daters vs. the “wait for the one” daters
and
2. The “blind to attraction” daters vs. the “spotlight on attraction” daters
I don’t know if any of them are more or less Christian than the others (if there can be such a thing), but in my experiences I see that most single Christians can be placed into one of those four sub-groups. For what it’s worth, I think the most difficult guy in dating is the “wait for the one” guy, while the most difficult girl is the “spotlight on attraction” girl.
Can’t wait to read back through the responses.
As funny as those pick up lines are, any guy who uses those lines should bring an immediate red flag:D Dating…it seems simple in theory, but very complex in practice. I figure if a guy is interested, he’ll approach me and then I’ll go on a date; however, I haven’t been on a date in 4 years, I’m 25 now, so maybe that’s not working;)
LOL
I posted this to my social media! 🙂
Dating for my husband and I was interesting… but obviously proved to be successful;)
I was crushing HARD on him so I immediately went to my Pastor at the time and gave him the low down. He had a one on one chat with my now hubby and let me know that I needed to give him time to grow with Jesus, being that he had just recently committed himself to Him. That season was very hard but we endured and by the time we actually called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend we were ready to marry! Three months later we were engaged and three months after that we were married! I’m so thankful we gave ourselves time to grow together but at the same time struggled with a bit of a religious mindset when it came to certain topics. I had committed 4 years earlier, when I gave my heart to Jesus, that I would not kiss another man until we were engaged. By the time he was leaving for deployment I knew we were going to get married, he just hadn’t put a ring on it yet. We decided to kiss goodbye for the 3 1/2 months we would spend apart but part of me felt guilty for not waiting until we were engaged. We chatted it over with our Pastor who was quick to nip our religious mindset in the butt and put our perspective back where it should be; Jesus.
Hubby came back from deployment and we were married on January 7th, 2012. Yes, today is our anniversary:)
I laugh at the word dating.
When I became a Christian, I attended a very hispanic/legalistic church. Dating was a big No, especially for me a teen. As an adult I started attending a new church which didn’t have a say in dating, other than seek accountability. These two extremes threw me off balance and I still don’t know what is “right” and “biblical” dating or how to even go about Christian dating.
The only time I have been asked out on a date was by a Jewish man who would not take no for an answering. He was a groomsman in a wedding I was planning and he pretty much harassed me for a date. I gave Him every excuse in the book, even made a few up. Eventually I came up with a plan. I said yes to coffee in a very public library, the twist, I would be shopping with my cousin lose track of time and oh dear, she would have to show up for coffee with me. Now, it didn’t end there, I would be quiet and reserved and my cousin agreed to do all the talking and blabbing till he grew tired and said goodnight. My plan back fired and he talked about himself the entire time till the library closed. HE then messaged me on facebook for a second “alone” date. He still wouldn’t take no for answer. I never replied back. Now if a good ‘ole Christian boy would have been that persistent, it would have a been a different story… but my single life is more of a Christian Mindy Kaling comedy.
i find this really interesting because even though that I’m 17 and not in a relationship it helps me to grow even more in this topic. i have always say that i would not date anybody until i can see then i fire for God. My mom always tell me that a man who loves God without limits will always be able to love me. And i don’t want to have a relationship right now first i’m really young and then i want that first person in my life to be the last. But is whatever God wants for my life so i don’t really worry about that now. My purpose is in him and him alone, He is my first love and will always be. I couldn’t ask for anyone better than God 🙂
Girl, just saying, its refreshing to hear a 17 year old say this! Keep hold of that willingness to wait and let God grow you first! He’ll be so faithful to bless you with the perfect man for you.
God bless!
“Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.” … I just spit my coffee out I was laughing so hard.
Dating in general is challenging. But I feel when its done in the Christian world it can be more difficult no matter how easy it is for the person to get a date. For me I was raised in a Christian home, church 2-3 times a week, usher, Evangelist grandmother, read the bible a couple times front to back. But as an adult I fell off the wagon and as of the last year or so, I have been renewing my faith and giving myself and heart to God. I attend a very large church but I always felt that trying to date in church was a sin. Going to church to find a woman as I know ppl who do or have done that.
Difficulty with me is I am timid especially with a woman I like and I had to break my habit of only wanting a woman for you know what reason. In the bible it says a man should take the initiative to seek out an opportunity with her. Something I have been asking to help me strengthen. I know, have met some great women who have given themselves to him. But my timidness doesn’t help me any in making a connection. As for me I have been hooked up with a cpl thru my aunt and all have failed. But for reasons that we were probably in the same category, just going thru the motions Christians(going to church on occassion, own a bible but never/rarely read or some dont even own one, believe but dont believe.) So if we wanted to build a spiritual connection it would fail because either both or her faith was that strong and we definitely couldn’t strengthen our faith together.
The type that I have met myself well we were of the extreme sides. She an avid church goer, reads her bible, has STRONG faith. The women I have been finding myself attracted to as of lately. But it seemed that those women were the most judgmental of me. My confidence was rattled and Im a very arrogant person. What am I doing wrong. Made me feel as if Im not a real Christian, like Im just faking it to get what I want(player) or just going thru the motions. But I suppose the failures with dating in the Christian world was God teaching me a lesson on how I used to be and act towards women.
I want to strengthen my faith and belief in God. But I want to do that with a woman who has faith just as strong as myself so we can build that together. That to me is where the diffuiculty comes in dating in the Christian world. Sometimes it seems we have to be on the same level for it to work, but it is also God testing myself, my patience and my belief in that he will put that woman in front of me. And I was always looking past that woman in the past. Does she think me less of a Christian because I do not attend church that frequently or read my bible or pray as much, or even live a more righteous life. I know Im not perfect but I want her to know that also.
Dre, please know that I am in no way judging you or presuming to know where you are in your walk with Christ, I would like to offer this, though. The Bible gives direction to the man to be the spiritual leader of his household, and the woman to submit to that leadership. While there can be many many arguments about this topic, I will leave you with this. Christian women want to know that a Christian man can lead them spiritually. So typically, we look for someone who is on the same level or stronger in their walk than we are.
Library,
Thank you and I do agree with you. My aunt told me the same thing. As I grow stronger spiritually I will have not those problems . If I work it out God will do the same.
Thank you once again. And have a blessed day.
Dear Dr. Dre (love your by the way) if you get a chance, you might try checking out a book called Fathered by God by John Eldredge. Having lead a number of studies through this book and seeing countless breakthroughs I can confidently recommend it for you. In a quick synopsis, often times when a guy feels intimidated by a woman, it’s because he’s taking his “question” to her. The question varies a little bit but it manly goes like this, “Am I a man? Do I have what it takes to be a man?” etc… It’s the question of your identity. When you give anything or anyone the power to validate you, you’re also giving them the power to IN-validate you. Which is why so many guys clam up when they get around women, or the woman they find alluring. The root of this is obviously sin (the sin of Idolatry) when we take what rightfully belongs to God (manly – our value, self worth, and identity) and give it over to the alter of the woman. I am in no way condoning an attitude of the false male bravado, the egotistical jerk who pretends he’s a man while not caring about what people think of him while he secretly squirms inside. No, I’m talking about 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline.”
I’ve tried Christian Mingle. I’ve met 3 guys. The first one was trying to get a kiss from me on the first date! The second one was still dealing with his ex, no thanks. The third one…oh I wouldn’t know were to begin but I just didn’t feel comfortable. But I’ll let you in on a little secret, I have a crush on Juny 🙂 I know God has someone just for me, I just have to be patient.
Dating is a lot different than I thought it would. After graduating from college I now see why so many people connect in college, it’s like an ideal location to meet someone and date in different settings. Unfortunately, we’re not exactly the best version of ourselves in college. I’m 23 and don’t feel a major push to date but I do date. If I met someone who is the real deal that would be great! But I also think it’s alright that I haven’t met that person yet.
Like I stated above, I do date. I moved to a new city a year ago and at first it was a big challenge but then I realized I had to make some changes in myself if I wanted to meet someone. So I became more approachable (like in my attitude and smiling more) and I really give guys a chance instead of letting “my list” choose for me. Which I have gotten rid of the list. I have met some characters lol, but I’m also learning about myself through this process. I have been approached in church and asked to go out to coffee and I look at it as alright. As long as I don’t push the envelope, remain appropriate, don’t lead them on to the wrong thing, etc then I see it as alright. So that’t what I have been doing about dating. 🙂
Oh my gosh, SO FUNNY!!!!
Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix LOL just made my day!
I am 33 and never been married. I have also never really dated. 🙂 I have several amazing single girl friends who are around my age who don’t date either. You know why we don’t date? Because men don’t ask us out. Which is really confusing because I think we are pretty great girls. I do feel like there is either a grave shortage of godly single men OR they are in abundance, but just not really asking girls out much or not asking “church girls” out.
I think dating/courting in the church adds some extra intricacies, but i wouldn’t call them “difficulties.” My friends and I all want a godly man who can lead us spiritually. MY difficulty is BEING the kind of person that the person I’m looking for would want. 🙂 I have high standards (not too high, but high), and I have to constantly remind myself that I need to be bringing as much to the table as I’m expecting him to bring!
I also feel like lots of men are looking for “Christian Barbie.” I totally get that men are visual, so they need that physical attraction. However, I feel like they all seem to be waiting around for this perfect little Prov. 31 women who looks like Miss America or Scarlett Johansen. There are lots of amazing women out there – pretty ones – that go unnoticed just because they don’t have that perfect look. (and i know….women are not blameless in this area either!)
I have the exact same life as you!! All of my married friend’s husbands tell me how I am a great pick and don’t understand why I am still single.
My answer: no one asks. I would love to ask a guy if I am sending a message to them that reads “If you ask me out, I will say no.” I don’t get it!
I am so very glad to hear that my friends and I aren’t the only ones wondering why the heck we are single! 🙂 And I’m with you – husbands of my friends tell me all the time that they don’t understand why i’m still single. crazy.
My friend and I literally had a conversation about this same issue that lasted 3 hours the other day! I’m 25 and so far perpetually single. And unlike most people I’ve met, it’s not something that’s a huge cause for concern to me. I’ve never really found myself pining after guys and in my early teenage years, adamantly believed that marriage was not for me. (And all my friends didn’t say AMEN!) Growing older, I’d love to have kids one day- so short of adopting an African Village and being their amazing aunt, I’ve had to rethink my stance on personally getting married. I was overweight when I was younger and used that as a reason to deflect attention away, (and reasoned that no guy worth his weight in gold would want to go out with a camel like me anyway. – Yup people would make “A***e the camel” song jokes too!) However these days when I scrub up nice I get enough positive comments to know that I could get attention if I wanted it. Truth be told, I’m still slightly skeptical and just don’t feel that interested enough to put in the required amount of effort. Effort being the key word, because whether or not I date, effort is still going to be required to become all that God requires of me- single&celebate or a married mama. My heart breaks a little for the guys in the church, although most (if not all) will not be meant for me, I believe as Christian women it’s absolutely important for us to be building them up, encouraging them and being positive influences that make them WANT to be “men of God” and stepping up all that entails. I know it’s hard! Heck, I’ve been lonely, wishing I had dates to take to events and even questioned about my sexuality- yes I’m straight and can appreciate an attractive man when I see one. But just because someone isn’t “God’s best at first glance”, doesn’t mean we should be dissmissive and not invest in their lives, maybe we’ll have a friend who’s perfect or them, or even better they have a friend for us. God loves men (and women) so much and perhaps our focus should be on bringing out the best of eachother instead of waiting for a time to “bring it on”.
My biggest dream was to get married and have 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. We would have the coolest house because we only had the latest and greatest of everything and the best name-brand products. Everyone would always be at our house because it was a place of love, fun, laughter and safe-keeping.
I am now 52 years young and I have never been married and have never had children. Clearly God had/has a different plan for my life! Today, He sweetly sings Isaiah 54:1-5 in my ear and heart and lets me know that I am meant to be a mother to many, not just the few in my home.
I am madly, deeply in love with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I am comfortable and content with Him as my Ultimate Husband. He will never leave me nor forsake me, will always provide and comfort me, and will always love me.
Companionship is wonderful, but my relationship with God is deeper and greater than anything I could ask for or imagine. Being single is not for everyone, but I am grateful for this “station” in life and it allows me to serve and worship Him with all that I am and all that I have.
May others be encouraged if they have not met “the one” of their dreams. God does have a plan and we can ask, seek and knock, but we
must also trust Him with our lives.
Monica
I think a lot of Christians over complicate and over think the Dating thing. First of all where did this whole Christian Myth of “The One” come from? You don’t even see that in the Bible, on the contrary what you see is Paul saying that it is better to remain single than get married and if you are loosed not to seek to be bound. The only parameter I see in the bible for looking for a spouse is that they be a believer, other than that it is up to us to make a good decision, you know that little thing called “Free Will”.
There are too many Christian superstitions out there that don’t even have their root in the Bible. It’s very simple and I say this to Men if you find a Christian woman attractive and you are drawn to her try to get to know her and then ask her out on a date. And this is for women and men, just because you go on a date with someone doesn’t mean that you have to marry them or start making wedding plans. Take it slow and get to know that person to see if they are going to be someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with. In the meantime respect their person and do not touch them. The Bible says that it is good for a man not to ouch a woman. By doing this it will minimize any potential hurt if things don’t progress to a higher level of commitment. I think Christian’s are scared of the word “Dating” because of the way the world treats it but as Christians all dating should mean to us is getting to know someone to see if they would make a good husband/wife for us. Once you see that they may not be a good fit for you then you need to stop the courtship and move on. At the end of the day we are all adults and we are all responsible for our own decisions so lets be grown ups and not be childish concerning this topic.
As far as pick up lines go, those are tactics from the world so any christian guy who uses them probably needs some maturity. From a guys persepctive I would encourage other men to look for a woman who is willing to come alongside and serve with them. Someone above mentioned that Woman look for a man who is stronger than them which is true. Recently the gal that I’m courting was glad that I left a church we both were attending after they started to teach a couple of false things and she followed me even though I never presurred her to do so.
this post is hilarious to me
THANK YOU BIANCA! 😀
I have never really been close to people in my church/pastors, so most of what im writing is from a ‘bystanders report’
Seeing the women/men my age in church is really funny. I think if there were such thing as Christian Dating it would automatically go under the category of ‘awkward.’
Most people in my church have known each other for a couple years atleast. A few of the guys have marriage on their mind, but not a lot. The women however….. anyway lol.
It usually goes like this.. guys are super specific and intentional IF they like a girl, if a girl likes a guy she usually talks about it but is shy about it. Otherwise people kinda just awkwardly mingle. Boys still talk to girls and vice versa, but yea….
In my church if a young couple are dating most people usually expect them to get married. If they don’t, I think people assume something went really wrong or it just wasn’t “the fit” (and then its awkward for the next few months then people just kinda forget)
I don’t think people really ever ‘ask’ for the pastors consent type thing.
On the mission’s base I worked at, if a guy is interested he is super intentional about it and will pursue a girl if he likes her. Most of the time it’s the ‘you date for the purpose of marriage’ mindset. About half to 3/4 of the women there want to get married (as opposed to the church, which id say is more), but most of the time its done super prayerfully (which I like.) HOWEVER-most guys are very nice/friendly, so it can be very hard to tell if they actually like you or not. (actually….. most agitating thing in the world when your trying to focus on God-haha!)
This is a good question-I really want to see the response you make to this!
For me personally the only Christian guys I have dated [I became a Christian later in life] ended up being jerks. My mindset now (turning 21 and being in some crappy relationships in my lifetime) is date with the intention of marriage.
It is really hard to wait, but I would never settle. One thing I often wonder is is it ok for Christians [boy or girl] to put themselves “out there?” How exactly do you do that?!?! And Is it wrong to?
I’m a college student who had realized that I had grown to have this “ideal pathway”. Ideally, the next person I’d date would be my future husband (as in I wouldn’t want to date just to date), but the next person I wanted to date, I would have to know decently well (as in we’d be friends first, not just a random “oh hey you’re cute I’m gonna ask you out” type of thing). I’d have a great, platonic guy friend, and we’d gradually grow to care more and more about each other and then finally decide to date. How that would happen, I had no idea. After a couple years of actively seeking out those male friendships, I realized that the intentionality was 100% on me, and stopped trying and was content in Jesus (and still am, amen!). To my surprise, I started to grow closer to one of my platonic male friends and really realize how great he was. Except that I didn’t realize it while it was happening (oh hey God doin your thang). Three months ago, we started dating.
College dating is great, but tough. I get to see him every day, but we have to be careful about how much time we spend together and to make sure that we’re investing in the people around us as well. This is also the first mature relationship for each of us, and we so desperately want it to be God-honoring and Christ-centered, but it’s hard to know what that means for a dating relationship. We come from incredibly different family backgrounds (his dad proposed on their second date, my parents are divorced and don’t speak), so we don’t really know what it looks like to date with long-term intentionality. The bible gives guidance for marriage relationships, but we aren’t married. So it’s hard to know where the appropriate place to set boundaries is. Right now, we’ve decided that more conservative boundaries are better than not, but it’s hard. We don’t pray together; we don’t kiss. We can see a future for us together, but understand that it’s completely in the hands of God and trust that. It’s just super hard to balance the knowledge that we might not be each other’s future spouses yet trying to pursue each other at the same time.
Thoughts are welcome. =]
(Also, loved the Christian pick-up lines. Discovered heychristiangirl.tumblr.com and found it the most hilarious. A favorite: http://heychristiangirl.tumblr.com/post/24125020378).
I don’t think you should ever seek the approval of a pastor if you want to datre someone. That is unhealthy and controlling.
I don’t agree! 🙂 If you are in church leadership, you should absolutely seek out mentorship from your pastor(s). Especially in an area as important as relationships. Not that they should control your life, but that you would receive Godly wisdom and counsel from them.
If you are a member of a congregation and not in leadership or on staff, then you should seek out mentorship from someone else at the church. Someone of the same gender who is older, wiser and more mature in the faith.
Mentorship and discipleship in every area of our lives is vital to a healthy, growing Christian walk! I would encourage anyone who does not have a mentor in their life to prayerfully seek one (or more) out! If discipleship is important enough for the entire New Testament to be devoted to it, then it is important enough for me to take heed of! 😉 Just my thoughts!
I adore this post! Those pick up lines are incredible!! 🙂 Due to some recent events, this subject has actually been on my heart lately.
I am single, 23 and I have not dated in about 6 years. I have no interest in dating someone else’s husband; and I have no interest in dating someone for the sake of dating. I think my perspective on this may be slightly different than some, but based on some of these comments I am not alone! 🙂 If/When I get married in the future, I want it to develop out of a friendship first. That means hanging out in groups, serving in ministry together (as I invest most of my time outside of work in ministry) and developing a friendship before anything else.
About five years ago, I was “talking” to a guy.
Talking: we were friends, hung out a lot, liked each other and almost officially dated
I really liked him (or who I thought he was), and was very interested in dating him; but it ended before it got to that point. At the time, I was very brokenhearted over it. I remember driving to my mentor’s house, sobbing and feeling like my heart physically hurt…I was going about 45mph (the speed limit on that very busy road). To this day I am convinced that angels were steering for me, because I could barely see! As I was driving, I was talking to God.
“Lord, my heart hurts so bad! I trust You, but this is so hard! I really thought this might be it, and I don’t understand. All I know is my heart is broken…”
All of the sudden, I heard His still, small voice.
“Michelle, I love you. There is a piece of your heart that you never gave to Me. Not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t realize it was there. This piece of your heart will one day belong to your husband, but until then let Me keep it safe.”
Then I had a vision (like I said, angels had to be driving 😉 ). I saw myself walking down the aisle with my dad on my wedding day. At the very moment I saw my dad give my hand to my husband, I saw the hand of God unlock a box and place that special piece of my heart in my husband’s hand as well. It was this beautiful picture of both my earthly father and my heavenly Father blessing my marriage, and to an extent “handing me off” to my husband.
I am in no rush to see this vision fulfilled, because I trust God’s timing. I’m not closed minded about who I may end up with. But I am going to guard my heart above all else; and I am going to trust that when the right person comes at the right time, God will be so in the midst of it that my stubborn head won’t be able to argue! 😉
On a slightly different note, it’s a pet peeve of mine when people try to play matchmaker. 99.99999% of the dating matches that I have seen pushed over the last 5 years have all failed. While I understand that people want to see those they care about happily in a relationship, PLEASE let God make the match! Yes, it sounds corny and cheesy. Yes, we have choices and if you think two people you know would make a good match it would not hurt to make an introduction; but don’t push a relationship! 🙂 Plan an event or get together so that those people can meet and get to know one another in a group setting, and let it evolve from there naturally!
Hi Michelle,
I so agree with your comment! God is a faithful and responsible daddy, and He’s able to keep what you have entrusted to Him. He wants us to trust Him fully with our hearts- even in the areas of relationships. I am learning this at this time. At His right time, He will bring that one special person.
And Oh, i dislike the matching game. I think this should be quite a natural process!
-my 2cents
Such a beautiful vision Michelle. And how wonderful that you have such a close relationship with the Lord. May He grant you the deepest desires of your heart. I truly believe He gives the best to those that leave the choices up to Him. He made you and He knows your heart, so who better to leave that huge decision to. You have blessed my day with that encouraging vision.
Haven’t been on the twitter-universe, FBland, and blogosphere in awhile but this post is AWESOME:)
Before marrying my pastor husband, no-joke, an older gentleman at my church called my parents and awakened them at 12am to have a word with me. Being 23 and staying with parents is one thing, but calling my mom’s house at midnight is a relationship indicator! He called to prophe-lie that I was to be his wife:) Can I say, awkward??!! There’s a way to let a person down with dignity & grateful that I did…
I am a pastor’s wife now & when I met my hubby he was an intern and dating was fun:) It included late nights at Dennys, Lyons ( yes, showing my age), and choir rehearsals, lol! Dating should be fun and gracious. And let me tell you single people, chemistry…you just know who God loves a lovestory!! There are many pastor couple stories that are hilarious, awkward, scintillating…and we understand more than you realize. Been there, done that! I can relate if you have been the one “screened” especially if you’re “seen” with the pastor-in-the-making intern. But trust your integrity. We’ve seen, once in awhile as pastors, a bad connection, but many good ones:) So, to the one who’s hoping to meet that special someone at a grocery store, cafe, or Apple store? Kudos to you! Why? Because I’m a hopeless romantic and that deep down I know you will encounter him or her;)
Michelle,
I never said you shouldn’t seek counsel from elders but I said you should not seek approval as that is unhealthy and dangerous. As a grown man who is raising kids and works, I feel that I am mature enough to make my own decisions. Elders in the Church are to feed us spiritually but not to dictate our personal lives. If I wanted to date someone I would ask the woman on my own without having to consult a Pastor or anyone else. Now if I found myself tempted or struggling with lust then yes I would seek counsel and prayer. But come on we are all grown folks lets have some maturity in Christ and not rely on being spoon fed by Pastors. Remember we are all a Royal Preistshood according to scripture. Jesus even said that the leaders are not to lord their authority over us like the gentiles as that is the way the world works not the body of Christ.