Maybe I was an insecure child growing up. Or maybe I was neurotic. Or maybe I was both. But was I the only kid that worried about throwing a birthday party and no one showing up?
As a child I would decorate the backyard, mix fruit punch, and stare at my cake wishing, hoping, and praying people would attend. As the minutes ticked by I would grow more and more anxious with the fear that I would sit alone in my closet inhaling birthday cake by myself with a lamp shade on my head, drinking fruit punch and singing “Only the Lonely.”
On Saturday my childhood fear became my reality. I waited in an empty ballroom as minutes ticked by before a workshop I was going to teach on storytelling. My session was the last workshop of the workshops, on the last day of the conference, after the last lunch. Needless to say I was nervous no one would come. Blissdom‘s a technology and social media conference bustling with entrepreneurs and bloggers. This was not where I usually teach nor was the content what I usually share. From material, to location, to conference, to people, every.thing.was.new.
[Insert closet and cake eating scenario here.]
Ten minutes before the session starts, I ask the audio guy if we can put on some music. He plays elevator music. And then I die a slow painful death because people aren’t coming in and this Kenny G instrumental might as well be my funeral dirge. I have to run an audible! Game plan: I sprint to my laptop, run an L-shape formation, toss my computer open to Justin Timberlake’s greatest contribution to music [touch down!], and casually walk over to the first person to enter the room: JON ACUFF.
Listen friends, Jon is quite possibly the nicest and sweetest guy I know. Not only is he hilarious, but he’s generous. He not only tweeted for people to attend the workshop, he actually attended the workshop. As in: he was the first person to arrive in the utterly empty hotel ballroom.
[Hand me the fruit punch, I’m drowning my sorrows in high fructose corn syrup.]
The picture below is a side-by-side photo of what the room looked like 15 minutes before the workshop and what the room looked like at start time. Yes, there are FOUR people in the entire room.
I shook hands, smiled at unfamiliar faces, and prayed that this was just a dream. I asked the assistant is we should delay the start because obviously people were stuck getting lunch. Obviously. I smiled and waited for her to respond while winking and shooting air guns with my hands like a used car salesman. Someone please stop me.
We had to start.
I began the session with a silent prayer in my head and approached the podium. The writing workshop dealt with storytelling and the narrative arc of writing. Character. Conflict. Redemption.
Here’s the part where I would LOVE to say that 10,000 rushed into the hotel ballroom all chanting my name, giving me flowers, and awarding me with a sash and crown. [I was in Texas, people! Let me dream.] But it didn’t quite pan out like that. Shall I say I was the Character and this was my Conflict? Yes, yes I shall.
As people slowly trickled in and we discussed how truly great characters develop–-their ability to face conflict, thinking of others before themselves, believing in their agency to change the world-–I slowly began to see a story unfold in the room. Honesty leads to change, change leads to pain, pain leads to transformation.
In the stillness of the cavernous ballroom, stories began to unfold, truth shared, hearts opened. The tension of revisiting tragedies in our lives required us to wrestle through the weight and reality of our lives as characters.
To understand our story, we need to know our tragedies. As we learn them, we will catch a glimpse of how we currently manage tension.
There—in a ballroom with 70 people in Dallas, Texas—storytellers stepped into owning the painful parts of their story to experience the freedom in believing pain can have a purpose. Our stories can be one of redemption or reinvention… but the storyteller must allow the character to change.
I didn’t wear any lamps shades over my head and thankfully I didn’t run to any carbs. But we did a party. And if we were celebrating anything, it was the birth of freedom not only from our pain, but for our liberty.
For my new friends at Blissdom, thank you for bravely telling your story. Your bravery will allow others to walk in courage. Live good stories, be a good story.
Bianca–you were the only presenter to personally introduced herself before the session; I knew, shaking your hand and seeing the sparkle in your eye, that I was in for something transformative. There may have only been 70 of us there, but you did something that transcends numbers. I am a better writer–hopefully a better woman–for my brief time with you. Thank you.
Lisa, thank you for being there and thank you for your words of affirmation! I’m SO glad you are a better writer… but more importantly, I’m glad you’re a better woman. 🙂
Those who needed to hear, heard. You were faithful in showing up and putting yourself out there, risking failure. You can’t teach story without living a great one yourself. I’ve read the comments on Twitter about your workshop and I learned one FACT: You did not fail, you excelled.
I love you. Is it weird that we are internet friends and support each other from across the pond? If so, I’ll accept the title as WEIRD! 🙂
I worried no one would come to party, but then I’d look over the table at you and realize my twin sister and could always eat the cake TOGETHER!!! Three cheers for diabetes!
And three cheers for sisters who listen to Justin Timberlake!
If it makes you feel any better, I hosted a lunch a few years ago with expected 15 guests and only one showed up but didn’t stay to eat, said she had to pickup a friend from the metro and left leaving me with more than enough food…so I hear you on the whole disappointment side of things but on the BRIGHT side of things at least a few people DID show up and you got to speak to people not an empty room, table, chairs and walls. And you never know, maybe the ones who showed up were the ones who needed to hear what you had to offer the MOST. You may have made the most impact God intended you to make on that day. Remember, it’s if you can inspire just ONE person they can share your inspiration with others and before you know it, it’s a ripple effect all caused by God working through ONE person (you). Never underestimate the power of one. 😉
And that was my attempt to make you feel better. Did it work?
Hahahahhahaha! Thanks Alexis. You made me totally laugh!
Bianca, thank you so much for your session! I kept thinking my “tragedies” were so small compared to those who were brave enough to share, but they’re still important to me, and thinking about them can still cause movement and change in my life. What you did was important.
BOOM! If that’s what you walked away with, I have accomplished what I needed to. I’m SO pumped I got to meet you 🙂
For the record, I was there before you started. 😉
No, but seriously…yours was probably the BEST session I attended at Blissdom, closely followed by Jon Acuff’s. You were GOOD, girl…and God used you.
XOXO
And this? This right here? This is why I love you. I probably would’ve never known of BlissDom if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for being my support. And thank you for showing up on time to the session. You were a familiar face in a sea of the unknown. Let’s do dinner at your swanky place!
Bianca,
I love the ‘real life’ story in this post…but man! You were one of my absolute favorite speakers at Blissdom! It was a joy and a privilege to spend time with you with Annie & Logan. I have heard of your ministry, but to hear you speak…you brought fire and light and helped us all tell our stories with more truth and grace – THANK YOU! I felt terrible that I was late to your session (as I think alot of gals were because we were ALL trying to eat at one hotel restaurant, and they couldn’t handle the traffic). I was so grateful that you had us put your teaching into PRACTICE by doing exercises before the session ended – no one else did that, and I felt it was so helpful!
Your session was truly a gift. I can’t tell you HOW EXCITED I am to hear you keynote at Allume!! (I CAN’T WAIT to hear you speak of the things of the Lord!) Your energy and light are infectious, and I am so glad to have met you at Blissdom. Blessings to you and your ministry! Thank you for bringing the light of Christ to Blissdom. 🙂
Hey Sarah! You are so generous with your words. Thank you for being supportive in the journey 😉
Oh my goodness! You and me and Jon and those other ladies in the same room at the same time would be AMAZING. I am bummed that I missed this opportunity! I am not ashamed to say that I talk about you like we are in real life friends! Ok, now that I say that sort of out loud, I do feel a little sheepish. So, I think we better become friends!!!!
I’m the loser that was too wrapped up in her greasy burger from Sonic & her Chevy Corvette to be there… and then (as a photographer), I confused you with your sister and called you Jasmine. I was on a roll, right?! Way to meet someone new and make them feel good.
I hear your session was fabulous (just like your lashes and eye make up under extreme magnification while I was editing all my photos for Blissdom). I’m so excited that they are making all the sessions and keynotes available to attendees (and us grunts) so we can listen to them at home!!!
I wish I had more than three minutes with you at Blissdom. I hope you’ll come back next year!
Thanks so much for the love! I can’t wait to see the photos. Is there a link?
I’m so sad I missed it!! I don’t know what I was doing?? I missed a lot of talks that I wanted to hear and yours was one of them. I heard it was amazing though! So great to meet you:-)
I think small groups can be a blessing. It gives people a chance to feel a part of something rather than just being there to be taught something. I bet the small group helped the attendees feel a little more at ease when they spoke up because it wasn’t a large audience critiquing what they had to say.