My ride was waiting outside ready to take me to the airport, so I did the most logical thing I could do: reached for the only option available.
Dressed. Packed. Rolling on four wheels. I knew I looked like a hot mess, but I didn’t know how bad I looked until I saw my reflection at the airport. Sparkly wedged TOMS heels, jeans that need to be retired, my last-resort top, and a blazer that is two sizes too small. I can hear Anna Wintour right now banishing me to Dante’s third ring of fashion hell.
But the truth about my baggage faux pas wasn’t solidified until Matt picked me up from the airport with a big, Hey, I missed y—WHAT are you wearing? Is that your pajama top?! He bust out into fits of laughter and I tried to explain why I had to—had to—wear my black and white polka dot pajama top under my blazer.
It was to no avail, Internet! He harassed me the entire car ride and insisted we go out to dinner in my bed wear. When I told him after dinner that I was exhausted. His snarky reply of, Well, at least you’re ready for bed, warranted a punch in his arm.
Yes, I have baggage. And not the kind that’s well-packed.
Speaking of baggage, starting tomorrow I’m going to do a short series on Adultlescents/Twixters/20Somethings/[insert pejorative term here], about life, jobs, and living at home. As someone who got married past the marrying age and lived at home waaaaaay too long with an unused Master’s degree, I have tons of baggage… none of which has an undershirt or cute top to wear for traveling.
Help: What do you see the largest struggle for 20Somethings is? If you’re between the ages of 18-32, what do you want to hear addressed? If you’re over 30 year old and unmarried/living at home, why?
Love,
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
The Girl With The Polka Dot Pajama Top
Hi Bianca,
My greatest struggle as a 22 year old is purpose. I have a good job and am very blessed, but I’m not specialised and have never studied. I often feel inadequate because of this. I’ve had big dreams since I was young to do something big in communication (like you and Chris Caine) but my opportunity hasn’t come. Maybe I should just find something, anything, and do it? I don’t know. Would love to hear your thoughts on this is your upcoming series.
Micaela x
As a 20 something who moved away from home (as in 1800 miles away) for college and got married 2 months out of college, my biggest struggle was/still is/will always probably be: INSECURITY. Trying to decipher how God views me, His dearly loved daughter, whom He formed in His image and died for. Me. My value isn’t wrapped up in how my husband views me (though it’s important), in how many friends I have on Facebook, nor is it based on how many people I can please at work in a day.
My value and my worth is based solely in His love for me. I need to always look to Him instead of the world’s distractions. Good grace with your message! 🙂
I really loved this blog post but became saddened by the last part. As a single 30 year old, I am constantly struggling with being unmarried or in a serious relationship. I don’t live at home but it is hard to see many of my friends who got married in their mid twenties and here I am still single.
Hey lovely
Things I have struggled with being *almost* 29 and not married…
-breaking up with someone you thought you would marry, hoping you were all out of the dating game and BAM he breaks it off (learning about this now and have interesting insight but would love other views).
-being in my late 20s and deciding to pursue more education when the world around me says “you should be climbing the career ladder” even though further post grad education will help.
love your work, keep being amazing x
Hey Bianca!
I totally agree with Micaela here! But to add to it, I think the biggest struggle for 20 somethings is living on purpose. We all have God given purpose within us, we all have passions that fire within our hearts, but how does that translate into our daily living? It is becoming increasingly more difficult to live a life that is intentional for Christ.
So often our 20s are filled with chaos, uncertainty and simply grabbing for the next opportunity that comes our way (with high hopes that it will lead us into “our calling”). In connection with that, how do we purposely and intentionally create a support system around us that will give us sound Biblical wisdom, encouragement and guidance so that we may live out our daily lives in the most Christ like manner?
Our 20s should be a huge point in our lives where we set the foundation for the rest of our life. Habits are built. Relationships (platonic and romantic!) begin. Beliefs are solidified. It’s a period of life that should be highly intentional in finding/living out our purpose, creating a support/accountability framework and firmly establishing our faith.
So I guess that all contributes to the main struggle: how do we intentionally use our 20s to set ourselves up for the most Godly way of living and the most intentional life used for the glory of God?
I hope this all makes sense! 🙂
Laura
Any advice you can give about relationships. and how you know if you’re ever going to get married or how do you know if you’re called to singleness. When you see all your friends around you starting to get married.
thanks x
Hilarious! You’ll totally laugh about this later…hopefully:)
20 somethings fall into the category of living with their parents to being married and having kids. As Christians we have other struggles we are working through. How did you do it? Did you ever feel like you were lacking because you weren’t married? How has it helped/hindered where you are now in life? Can’t wait to hear your insight, I am always so blessed by it!
I feel too old to speak to this now that I’m in my 30s, but I remember my 20s. And those years were HARD. I think I desperately wanted someone to tell me it was going to be okay. It was okay that I had questions for God. It was okay that my life wasn’t working out as I had planned. It’s okay to feel the hurt and pain that comes from loss and broken relationships. It’s okay to shuck everything you worked for in college and start a completely different career. It’s okay that I haven’t found a man yet because God is doing a work in just me. It’s okay to not have it all together and all figured out. And it’s okay to be broken and it’s okay to ask for help.
Someone telling me those things might have saved a lot of heartache and internal issues for me all those years ago.
I am 22 I am a double major in college so my program will take me 5 1/2 years. Thus, I have 3 more semesters left. I feel “stuck” no boyfriend in sight, commenting to school, working with the youth group at my church, and with young girls on Friday nights to give them a “safe place” I just feel “stuck”. I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere in life…I’m ready to move on from my childhood that I still feel like I’m in by living at home. I’m watching a lot of my friends get married and I’m still here. The same place I was when I graduated high school 4 years ago. And the “men” I at my church seriously need a good punch in the gut to become Godly purposeful driven men (in my humble opinion)
Haha that’s suppose to say “commuting to school” not commenting to school.
Ally,
I would say to just focus on your walk with God rather than what the Men are doing. Many men and women go to church to get their weekly religous fix and may not be be serious in their walk with the Lord. Being purposeful can mean many things, reminds me too much of Rick Warren really. The Gospel is really simple and Men are simply called to proclaim it as Jesus instructed his disicples in the great commission. Being purposeful for God means being obedient to the scriptures and it doesn’t mean loving this world and the American dream. Remember God looks at the inside. You may see a man that is poor but still works hard so keep your eyes open for those spiritual things rather than the outward appearnce of a nice car and house.
Oh My!! You just totally had me cracking up!!!
I say:
FOCUS ON GOD instead of our career, relationships and futures…
In our 20s we are sooooo concerned about OUT desires that we do not look to do his will!!
We must have:
1. BA or MA
2. Married or in a relationship
3. Have a job related to your career
4. Serve at church
I think we get things al mixed….from reading ALL the comments I see a trend: we all worry about our careers and the prince (whether he has came or no) WHY????
We should focus on the Lord, our 20s should be the years of awesome experiences with Him, serving hm, preaching the gospel, helping the needy, making a difference in somebodys life!
Agree????
I think you can be focused on God & still have these thoughts & struggles. We love God, and He is working out these things in our lives:)
I totlally agree with you Anagaly. We are not promised a spouse so who knows which of us will get that. We are promised peace that surpasses all understanding. In fact many times a spouse can hold you back from truly serving God if they are not like minded and believe me a man/woman that wants to die to this world and serve the LORD is rare to find.
i would say if all the school is really worth it?
thanks for your amazing posts!!
Praise Jesus that you are doing something for 20 somethings!
What do you see the largest struggle for 20Somethings is?
It’s hard to be 23. I’m not a kid but I’m not considered an adult either. I’m most frustrated about the fact that I don’t feel like I’m the person that I should be. I see my mom and see a woman of faith. I see girls younger than me and I see women of faith. I look at me and I see a mess… that is getting bigger by the second.
If you’re between the ages of 18-32, what do you want to hear addressed?
This is going to sound stupid but I’m struggling with ministry. It feel like when I try to do something for Jesus it blows up in my face. Is it supposed to be that hard? Or am I doing something I shouldn’t. Am I just coming up with stuff to do and it’s not really Jesus and I am just saying that it is and that is why I’m frustrated?
Also, I’m struggling with the looking good thing. I know that women are supposed to look good because that is what attracts men and people like people who look good and blah blah blah, but I feel like it’s wrong. My idea of a woman of Jesus is someone who goes out to the mission field and works hard and doesn’t care what she looks like.
I want to get married but I cannot get over the looking good thing. I also feel like looking good (dressing up/makeup etc) is tricking men or something and that makes me feel like it’s wrong. What if I can’t lose weight when I have kids? Will my husband stop loving me? I want someone who loves me no matter what and who sees me as Jesus created me to be and thinks it’s great.
i’ll be 27 at the end of this month. i’m living with my parents while finishing up my masters degree. i’m engaged. half of my friends are married. one has kids.
my problem is community… with all of my friends settling down and having such busy lives, it’s hard to make time for community. undergrad was full of community–living with friends, catching rides together, etc. but now it’s like we’re all over the place. how is the best way to maintain community after college besides buying a gigantic house where we can all live together??
Love the conversation you are cultivating. I have no business being here, but I have to type what I just said outloud:
“I want my mommmmmmy!” Haha! I got married at 25 and had 2 kids by 27 and was well established in my dream career. Now I’m (in 12 days) gonna be 35, stay at home and I STILL think I”m a KID!!! I tease (read: threaten) my husband all the time that we are going to move in with my mom.
Grass.Greener.Over.Yonder!
Okay. Carry on, girfriend!
P.S. I do love my husband. Just had to make that clear!
You are too funny, Melissa! And seriously, ain’t nothing wrong with going to visit your mom for 1 or 10 days 😉
I am 33, a single mom to a special needs child, working from home,living with relatives and I still wonder WHEN the adult portion of my life will begin.
To have a home of my own, a thriving career, a husband and father figure to my son seems impossible. I do have faith in God’s plan for my life, and know in my heart that this time of my life is unique and although its not what I ever pictured it to be, I realized I’ve become that much closer to God and Jesus than anyway else.