Many of the pressures facing women are societal, but some are self-induced. I admit this from experience as I arrived to the campus of High Desert Church in the same outfit as Kati, one the the evening’s emcees. I laughed to myself as saw her standing outside of the foyer waiting for me. And because I’m a girl, I immediately felt insecure as her waist was akin to the size of a straw. And if she’s a straw, I’m a barrel. Like I said, it’s hard being ordinary standing next to Barbie.
But aside from the trite vanities, one of the bigger lies women are faced with has gnarled roots tracing back to the Feminist movement of the 60s. We willfully ingest the lie that we should be so much more. It’s not enough that you bear children, raise a family, have a job, and know how to make amazing brownies. You should, could, and would be so much more.
The core of what I teach is that our extraordinary God wants to use ordinary people to make extraordinary changes in the world. And I believe that.
But somehow we’ve equated extraordinary only in the realm of finding a cure for AIDS or ending child slavery while negating the power of extraordinary things happening around a dinner table with family or on your knees in prayer.
Rather than worrying about our unrealized potential for some sort of nebulous greatness, we ought to be concerned about being faithful and obedient in the things God has given us to do, trusting Him for the ultimate results.
Don’t get depressed in the things you feel you should be doing by the comparison game. Just because Golda Meir saved a nation in one intense phone call, doesn’t mean God wants you to do the same thing. There’s something beautiful about being ordinary.
The stigma attached to ordinary by the lies we are believing are demolished by Paul’s words to the Corinthians in his opening letter: Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.
There’s an honor in being an ordinary person in the hand of the extraordinary God.
Even though I don't necessarily agree with your conclusion, this is a fantastic post and I can totally see your point. Good post.
That's a WORD I needed this morning. I don't know if I've recommended it already, but will do so again-Beth Moore's book- 'So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend to Us'. When I'm tense or on edge about the curveballs thrown at me daily, I know I'm insecure about something or not resting in the hands of an extraordinary God. Thank you!
Just what I needed to read today! Thanks B x
Bianca,
one word – Mary
just a mom, no 2nd job, just mom and bride
and spectacularly successful at it
and it was enough
OH BIANCA!!! This is an awesome post and EXACTLY what I needed to start my day with. What a wonderful reminder that even though I'm ordinary I am in the hands of an extraordinary God who has amazing plans and callings for my life. Thank you so much for this post!!! 🙂 Love you!
thanks B! This is refreshing and encouraging…my biggest complaint to my husband and my friends used to ," i do not want to be ordinary"..now I know it's ok because God is extraordinary and can use this ordinary girl to achieve His purpose…
I teared up reading this (I'm sensitive like that I suppose). But it's completely true that we (women I know and myself) are influenced to do everything and do it well. It's tiring and somewhere something more important is neglected unlike those inconsequentially perfect brownies. I loved this post and will share it with the women who are important in my life. Thanks.
My husband and I were discussing this last night. I am feeling worthless and useless, my last unemployment check came and was spent on bills. Now i feel I have NOTHING to contribute to our home. He wrote up a list of all the things I did last week, laundry, cooking, diaper changing, playing hide and go seek, cleaning, taking the trash out, etc.. He said I do it all and contribute more to our home than any unemployment check ever would.
I still struggle some today. God will triumph over this! I know he will
i so know how you feel..that is the worst feeling to have…i think that's where I struggle the most…my husband reassures me in the same ways…sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't…i just know that when i feel that way, i just have to keep my eye stayed on the Lord and He gets me out of that pit…praying for you:)
I loved this post Bianca. I am prone to forgetting the beauty that is in the ordinary. Thank you for this reminder today. My heart needed it more than I realized.
This was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I've been struggling with it as a single woman – I don't think it matters the age! I love the reference by a poster above about Mary – so true!
Thank you for this today! It's inspired me to dust off my blog and post some of my journal entries in there, and ironically it's titled "Beautifully Ordinary" 🙂 Blessings!!!
I have learned to appreciate being ordinary and to appreciate ordinary days. I tell my students that they might not save the world (although they might!), but every one of them can save their little corner of the world. We save our little corner by doing our best in every situation. I sat in a courtroom once watching several lawyers, including the judge, try to find a solution within the law to help a young teen in crisis. That teen was my foster son. I sat in that courtroom marveling at the skill and effort being expended by people who will never be famous. No one would ever know what they did in the courtroom that day. But they worked a miracle. My foster son's life was saved. And they all went on with their ordinary days.
I'm glad you posted this because I feel just too ordinary. I'm 19 living on the east coast, at that in-between age where I'm too young to do something really great. I'm living in a family of non-Christians, trying hard to honor God with all that I am. I'm finishing college at the end of this year and heading into the medical profession (coming from a poverty-stricken home, God has honored me greatly). I want to do something great, to make a difference, and I'm trying to figure out who I am. I want to be confident, faithful, unique, to stand out (what girl doesn't?) I want to lead God's people to him when they are in a time of need, so that He can step in and save them and do work in their hearts that I can't provide. I want to make a difference and I want God to shine in all of His nations. I admire you greatly, Bianca.
Does anyone else feel this way? – caught in between a monotonous regularity and the desire to do something great?
Just by being you, by living as a LIGHT in the midst of darkness means that you ARE doing something GREAT! Know that as you strive to serve the Almighty, He WILL empower you with the strength to serve Him in a great way.
I'll be praying for you today, Alyssa!
My heavy heart thanks you! Thank you for the encouraging and moving post. I NEEDED this today… and I've saved it so I can read it again tomorrow and for however many more days I need to until I "get it"!
Love.
Well-said. I've been working overtime lately to try and rebuke the "comparison" game that tries to enter into my heart and soul. No one ever wins with it.
I think it's also important to point out that (modern-day) third wave feminism steps away from the second-wave feminist rhetoric. We are not like the women in Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique," afraid that life is passing us by as we just stare out from our porch steps. Today, women, and I would argue especially mothers, face the challenge of living up to this idea of Supermom or Alpha Mom. To take a step back and realize that you don't have to "have it all" is one thing. However, the reality is that a lot of moms can't afford not to work. Also, women are more educated and may want to have children and work for fulfillment outside the home. Either way, their identity remains rooted in the home because they so often are the primary care-giver. It's up to the men in our core relationships (i.e., husbands, fathers and brothers) to step in and help us lead these more "ordinary" lives that Bianca reiterates in today's blog. I agree, we don't have to accept these "extraordinary" duties; however, we can't be ordinary alone.
Also, I really encourage mothers to give themselves a voice in online groups (like so many wonderful women do on B's blog). We aren't really comparing ourselves with women saving nations, but with a false ideal set by media and our society of the Alpha Moms living right next-door. It's nice to hear such great points of views and women supporting one another.
your post reminds me of what she said: http://espanol.video.yahoo.com/watch/3805833/1042…
women don't necessarily have to have an A in everything they do. =]
I checked out the link. Great book title, right?! Thanks for the insight, P. xoxo
Incredible post. I may be a man but I also relate to many of your comments. Thanks for helping us keep our priorities straight. God blesses the ordinary in extraordinary ways. Perhaps that means it was never ordinary to begin with. Hmmm.
Matt, you hit me with a doozy! "Perhaps that means it was never ordinary to begin with." I feel a new blog post coming on!
PS I give out bonus points to boys who leave comments. There's a lot of estrogen up here in these parts… so you get 1,000,000 extra credit point 🙂
Yeah, I totally do! Feminism and Christianity can be difficult to marry, but 3rd-wave feminism really opens up a lot of doors for discussion among Christian women. I wish you had been in my grad class last year when we discussed all this – we need some strong Christian female voices in academia!
Thanks for the Bruin cheer. We need it…badly! 🙂
Keep shining, Keep running,
Keep hoping, Keep praying.
Keep being exactly what you are already
in God's eyes …. COMPLETE!!!
I love this! Thanks for writing it!
Wow…that's it…WOW
Hey B! I am super encouraged reading this because I am often comparing my current life with my past, as though it's not good enough in the eyes of others and I could've been so much more. Since coming out to Okinawa to be a missionary teacher, but now being a military housewife and in a few weeks mom I've felt struggled immensely with comparison. Thank you for posting this!! Congrats to you on all the wonderful blessings that have come your way! -Johanna Barrow (Bessman)
Love it! This goes right along with a quote from My Utmost for His Highest a couple of weeks ago –
"It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes."
This post is definately relatable. Like Johanna, I too, find myself comparing my past with the present which, usually,results in feelings of sadness, unfulfillment, and the thought that my potential (whatever it may be) is going to waste. It is a fine line for me to decipher between selfish ambitions and those desires placed in my heart that God may have for me to do….if that makes sense. Ultimately, I am still learning to have faith in God, COMPLETELY. It is only through prayer, reading scripture, and fellowship that I am able to overcome those defeating thoughts. I thank God for giving you the insight to write such an encouraging post, Bianca. Hugs, Brandy.
Amen to this! Amazing how God brings things into our lives each day to remind us of this. I was stuggling today with the very fact that I am not good enough for everyone….and yet you remind me that it is not "everyone" I need to be pleasing. It is my one and only Savior. Thank you for this reminder today! 🙂
I'm a little late to the party…
But this is an excellent post! I'm a senior in college this year, and trying to figure out life after April. My school's big idea is "becoming world changers". Every time I turn around, it seems like someone is saying, "Go do something extraordinary! Change the world for God! Do something big!" But… we can't all do that. Not all of us can be famous, or important on a global or national scale.
I believe that God's calling me to be a high school athletic trainer, a wife, and a mom (someday). None of those are splashy, well-known-throughout-the-world type things. But they can (and will) be used by God for His good and His will. And that is awesome.
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