Her phone rang and she dove for her purse and unzipped it in record time. “No, he’s not here. I know, it’s fine. Really. If he doesn’t come, I go to your house for drinks. Honestly, I’m fine. Promise.” Click. She hung up, dropped her phone in her purse, and sighed a sigh I empathetically knew.
She was desperately sad. And desperately alone. And I desperately felt her pain. The inner Patty Stanger in me want to shake her by the shoulders and say, “I FEEL YOU! I know what you’re going through. But hang on, sister! He’s out there.”
You know you’re desperate when the cheer coach from high school who had a son three years younger than you sees you at the gym ten years after graduation and sets you up via facebook with her son—and you accept.
Yup, that really happened. Cue a pathetic love song and hand me a sugary dessert, because it was a bad as it sounds.
It had been months since I had gone on a date so I blame my acceptance of the date on the fact he was a professional athlete and I had given up dating guys from church.
It didn’t hurt that after stalking his facebook profile I discovered he was still tall, light eyed, and had an athlete’s body. So I accepted. Then called all my friends to convince me that it was a good decision because after sending the email, I felt like a Cougar. A fat, Cougar who accepted a date via facebook because of someone’s mother.
After three phone calls and three successful talks walking me off the ledge, I went to the gym to burn off twenty pounds of baby fat I hadn’t lost in the past twenty years. Then I had to buy a new top. Yes, I had to. I stared at a closet full of clothes, but swore I had nothing to wear… at least nothing worthy of a date with a professional athlete.
I almost opted to wear fake eyelashes, but decided against it because high heels, a ruffled top, and big hair paired with fake lashes would’ve made me look like a night walker, not a potential mate.
He said we should meet at the restaurant because his mom said it would be better. Um, okay. Sure. When I asked why he chose the restaurant, he said it was his mom’s favorite restaurant. Wow, ok. We continued to talk about life since high school and—oddly enough—his mom.
The server came by to take our order and give recommendations. He looked at me with a gaping mouth in complete silence. Taken off guard, I ordered grilled artichoke with the dressing on the side and finished my order with water with a wedge of lemon.
The waiter looked at him and asked what he wanted to drink. [Awkward pause.] My date looked at me. [Awkward pause.] “Just make that two waters,” I casually said like ordering for this grown man is totally the norm. I encouraged him to pick out dinner and place the order when the waiter came by. I was seeing a trend I was determined to break.
I. Was. Not. Going. To. Be. His. Mother.
I knew there would be no second date, so I used this at a Patty-teaching opportunity. 1. Talk about his dreams. 2. Never bring up his mother. 3. Let him order the food [even though it was heinously carnivorous]. 4. Encourage him to start picking his own dates.
I slipped into my car and sighed a desperate sigh. A desperately alone sigh. A sad sigh. A sigh like the girl sitting at Starbucks waiting for a man who never showed up to see her perfectly straight hair and glossed lips.
Do you have blind date stories? Share them. We all need a good laugh 🙂
I could crash your server with stories of bad blind dates, but my best (MOST AWKWARD) was in college for a sorority theme party. There we were dancing amongst all the other Jimmy Buffet parrot heads when in the middle of the dance he stops, looks at me, and yells "YOU'RE NOT MY GIRLFRIEND" and walks off the dance floor.
Not.Awesome.
You should get a third blog just to write all of your lovely stories out. Hilarious. Hilarious, I tell you!
i went out on a series of blind dates because of pressure from my friends. i went out with a jim palmer lookalike. we met at a restaurant that i chose so i could catch a cab home if the date tanked. he decided to take me to another restaurant that his friend owned, way out in the county. he talked about his ex-wife, he talked about his best friends who set up a guest room just for him to sleep over after parties. he talked about himself. he said i could order anything i wanted. i wanted sushi, he made me order something else. to top off the evening, he decided not to drive me home, but drop me off at the light rail. instead of going down the street and taking a left, he insisted on driving me out to the end of the line because it was closer to his house. i was basically left stranded at a light rail station 1 1/2 away from home instead of the 15 minutes by cab. i ended up crashing at a friend's house who lived near the train.
Ughhh this burns my biscuits! I hate it when guys *have* to be in control!
Let's just say he got a SEVERE nose bleed flooding his plate of food and the table. Nasty. He said that happened when he got nervous… good to know.
P.S. Can't wait to see you at dinner tonight!
We are TOTALLY talking about this tonight 🙂
i love that you see people with your heart….
I have a date tomorrow…he found me on fb via a dating website. Thanks for the prep B! Love ya!!!!
GAAAAHHHHHHHH! This. Is. Awesome.
I’ve never been on a blind date before.
he literally BROUGHT his mom along, with about 6 other friends. to a heavy metal concert.
O MY GOODNESS! When I was living in South Africa this guy from church really liked me and wanted to go. I wasn't really interested at all because he was SO shy and just sorta always loomed everywhere over everything without talking to anyone. It was awkward, and he was British south african so just extra EXTRA dry and I didn't get what he said when he spoke. But I relented because it was 'just coffee' and I felt so bad saying no every week.
So we went and he doesn't have a car, and lives with his mom. (I know, I know…I should've ran with that knowledge right there).
I called and told him I was about 10 minutes away and he comes out to the car as I pull up holding his pants, shoes, belt and socks in his hand. He sat down in the car and I just looked at him dumbfounded he wasn't dressed fully.
he smiles and says, "I figured you were in a rush so I"d finish getting dressed in the car." WHAT?!?! "Oh, ok…" I responded back.
Needless to say we had our coffee which he LOVED and I didn't and that was the last of our going out together. brahahahahhahahha…
Oh Bi, it was awful. and hilarious. now.
Um…. I only ever had one blind date. It ended in an awful divorce. Enough said 😉
Love you!
Not sure why this posted under my other blog…
I feel bad for the poor woman… all these painful yet funny experiences you’ve had, God has and will continue to use them. I hope you said a prayer for her or talked to her. I don’t have a funny “blind date” story. My blind dates consisted of being set up by my mother with men who where old as hay.. I was 15!!!
I agree with Norma. Bianca, you're so easy to talk to, I can imagine you walking up to her and making her feel special with your encouraging words and genuine empathy.
I'm not intending this to be a long story, but I think it might just end up pretty long and detailed…
I had lost a lot of weight and was excited for summer, so my sister and I went to the Polo Ralph Lauren store for bikini shopping. This cute guy was working the dressing room so he let us in and told us to call him if we needed anything. Since I was buying the swim suit, Vicky was going in and out of the dressing room helping me try on different colors, patterns and sizes. Somewhere in between, I heard him talking to my sister and I picked up bits and pieces:
"Like how old…"
"What's…. type of guy…."
"Do you think….. maybe interested"
"Really cute.."
"Just wondering if you'd…"
So I got really upset because I thought this older guy was hitting on my kid sister! Mind you she was 18 at the time, but still! Finally she comes back to the dressing room and I ask her to spill her guts! Turns out he was asking about me and Vicky told him that she was clueless about my "type" and about whether or not I would go out with him. Completely flattered (and desperate for a date), we talked afterward and I gave him my work cell number. We kept shopping, and he sent me a text 15 minutes later. We set a date, time and location and I went on my way, but not without receiving text messages from him roughly every hour on the hour.
The next day we had dinner, and he was totally sweet and attentive, but I noticed that he was my height. How did I not see this? He talked a lot about his work and about how highly his mom and grandmother thought of him. About how great he is with kids. About his 2 year plan. About how many kids he wanted. And the kicker: about how I would make a great wife.
On our first date.
Needless to say we didn't go out again, although it did take a little over a month for him to stop sending me text messages. And yes, this was *after* I called to tell him I wasn't interested.
Well, there was the blind date who turned out to be more than a head shorter than me. Imagine the awkward moment when I opened the door looking straight ahead and had to adjust my line of vision down down down.
On the other hand, my sister and her husband just celebrated their 50th anniversary. They met on a blind date. Susan came home not very impressed, but Frank went home, woke up his mom, and said, "I've met the girl I'm going to marry."
I heart that you felt for her Bianca. Us singles (most of us I think) always yearn to be doubles. And the night walker line? Funny.
When I was a kid I watched General Hospital, there was a ne’er do well man in love with a saint. They were sitting on the staircase and he was professing his love. And he said, “Jessie, you’re like a mother to me.” And she looked – well – not happy. I thought – hey – that’s a compliment lady (me, all of 7). But maybe not so much now 🙂
And blind date story? No. I’ll pass on embarrassing myself today please and thank you. 🙂
Feliz Navidad
Craig,
A man’s prespective would be good.. Just sayin’ *twiddling thumbs, waiting for Craig’s story* 🙂
I loved this post today!! Hehe!! Thanks for the good chuckle peoples 🙂 Life is such a crazy adventure…it's kinda like a blind date- never know what you're gonna get!!
If only there was a date to tell you guys about… still praying!!! ha
He came straight from wherever he hadn't showered in 3 days. After meeting my two male roommates I sucked it up and we went out, me thinking I could get dinner over with, and end the night early. He told me I would be a wonderful wife to him. He "had" to say hi to my roommates after dinner. They liked him and invited him to stay. The night. I tried to tell him goodbye and he said he just wanted to hang out there. I took BOTH our great danes to bed with me and locked the door. In the morning, he was still there. I said cya and he said "I think I'll join you at your volleyball game this morning". I offered him a shower and soap, he declined, I found a new toothbrush I hadn't used yet, he declined. I had to roll the windows down in my truck. I had to flat out tell him he had to leave. One week later my roommate's girlfriend offered to set me up with another. My head hung low as I weekly said "ok fine, it can't be any worse than the last guy". Met the guy that evening…and we've now been married 11 years as of last month. 🙂
Sometimes they work…sometimes they don't.
You've GOT to be kidding me. I think I vomitted in my mouth.
Nope. LOL So you can imagine the kind of optimism I greated my next blind date and future husband. HAHA Good thing HE hung in there with my attitude. 😉
Oh my gosh. This is so bad, it has to be true. Thank goodness you hung in there!!
I had a blind date in college. Went with my friend (who set us up) and her boyfriend. After dinner (and before a movie) we were riding in the car and my friend's boyfriend was driving. Suddenly he realized that he was going to have diarrhea. (Great for a first date, right?) So he started driving like a mad man in order to get home in time. As he was speeding home, a police car tried to pull us over. But this guy was not gonna pull over for anyone, he needed to get to the toilet and FAST. So the police continued to chase us until we pulled into the driveway. My friend's boyfriend ran into the house and left us sitting there to explain to diarrhea situation to the cops. Yeah, VERY awkward. I think I saw the guy a few more times but no sparks, but a great story nonetheless.
Several years ago one of my BEST FRIENDS set me up with some guy that she knew from college and bumped into while grabbing dinner with her mother. He was a TOTAL REDNECK. I say that as a southern girl who appreciates boys who are a little rough around the edges. This guy was beer guzzling, belly hanging over his pants, obnoxious, and only interested in rubbing up against me and talking about his college fraternity pranks (like taping people i knew to the ceiling with duck tape — me = not impressed). And to end the whole thing…at the end of the date he showed up shirtless (i don't have any answers for that one) knocked on my door and said in a drunken drawl, "hey baby, wanna kiss?" um, no thanks!!!!
Funny…I sent my email asking friends to be on the lookout to my friend who had set us up. And she laughed and said she was honored to be on the list considering her track record. Hopefully she learned her lesson.
Where did his shirt go?? WHattttt?
Ew gross!
I went on a blind date and got married 1 year and 4 months later. We have been married for over 5 years.
I had one blind date and am now married to him. He's a good one. I was blessed this time. Can't imagine what I'd do if it went bad. We've been married a year only but he has a good heart for God.
I went out on 4 blind dates. Yes, I was desperate. I needed something…I just broke up with a long time bf. A friend of mine said, Hay, Ive got a couple of guy friends who would love to date you. They keep asking about you all the time. Want me to set you up? Me: NO. She: WHY? ME: ummm dunno..so she set me up with them.
Date 1: I ran.. I mean fast! called my Uncle to come and pick me up! Dude..oh so scary!
Date 2: This one lasted more than 20 minutes. We went to Dinner, enjoyed a walk in the park (note to self, never walk alone in the park …get it!) then I RAN! (starting to feel like the Run-a-way bride..Julia Roberts here) He like date number one, had other things on his mind that were not coinciding with mine! Yep, Called the Uncle again.
Me: starting to rethink the friendship thing again with my Friend.
She calls me to find out how date 2 went, so I told her, she said, WOW! , I've got another one that wants to date you, I'll give him your number and hangs up. I quickly call her back and say thanks but NO THANKS, I think I'm gonna explore this single life for a long while. A week later, This guy shows up at my job. SHE yes SHE sent HIM to my work. OOY. The guys I work with are like my big brothers. They instantly took on the "No man comes near my sister" type of stance. We go out for lunch, hay I was hungry. Then dinner. We went on several dates. Things going ok. Then we went to the beach..Yep, you guessed it, I called my Uncle again. This time, My Uncle yells at me for being so naive, and I had better start getting to know these guys first, Before going out with them. I get a lecture at 3 am.
Then May 18, 1988 comes. My Friend calls yet again, Hay she says I've got another guy who wants to date you. I said…HECK NO. I don't trust you any more. I don't want to go out with your hornie friends. So she asks when was the last time you went out on a date, I said, January. 4 months. She said He is gonna call you, I gave Him your number. I am now living on my own, by myself. I tell her please don't, she hangs up. I call her back. Its 11pm. I tell her I've got to go to work at 3 am. I don't want to date. I'm happy. She said I've told her NO with this one before. She gave Him my number, the phone clicks to signal that another caller is calling, I switch over, Its Him. I politely tell him, NO. NOT Interested. He said lets go play volleyball. I said NO. He said just as friends. No strings attached. We talked on the phone for 3 hours, its now 2 am. I get no sleep. I agreed to meet him for volleyball then dinner. He seemed to be ok. I went to Down Town Flower Market, then to the flower shop where I worked. Took a nap. Yes, I took a nap at work. (Perks of managing I guess) Told the Guys I work with "I'm going out tonight, please don't bug me" they were surprised, questioned me a million times..who what when where ..who..who who. They said, don't go. One tells me to call him when I get home. (side note, he and I used to date, weird I know) May 19, 1988 was a super busy day for me.
I did not shower before my date.
I was starving at 2 pm, so I went to another friends house to eat, I had butterflies in my stomach, I was so very nervous. I recanted the story to her on the events of the last 15 hours. We laughed. I ate more Picante Sauce than anything else. We laughed some more.I ate more Picante Sauce. I got more nervous as 530 was quickly approaching. I ate more Picante Sauce. I left her house, back to the shop, more work to do. I planned on getting off at 4 to get ready for date. I did not leave until 530. My stomach was in knots, I felt like expelling the Picante Sauce I drank. Walked to the agreed meeting place, Kentucky Fried Chicken, on the corner of Florance and Otis, in Bell, California. There he was, waiting for me. He was in shorts and a Bad Dog T-shirt, I was in..get this…Black sweat pants, and a Peach n Black Sweat Shrit, I had green hands (I'm a floral designer), my make up needed to be redone, my hair was passable thanks to Agua Net! I felt like throwing up (don't drink Picante Sauce on a nervous stomach). We greeted, spoke. He offered to buy me food, I refused, said I had a late lunch when in fact I felt like vomiting, we went to play volley ball, had a wonderful time. We went to go talk at the park, had a wonderful time. MY Beeper goes off..yes beeper. I need to call work. HE gets to meet my Mother..ON.THE.FIRST.DATE. My Mom was wearing a screaming 70's house dress with more colors than the rainbow, hideous looking thing, she had pink and blue and purple rollers in her hair.
We were very near to her house, so we went there to call. Cell phones were not part of daily life then, I dont think they were in the life at all. I have to go to work.
He stays in car. I get the information and keys and money that I need. I also get the game 20 questions played on me. I leave.
We got to the Beach.
His name is Riley. He is the center of my life. He is my All in All! We were married on October 15, 1988.
And no, I don't eat Picante Sauce anymore.
What an awesome!!!! story!!! Loved it! You're such a good writer. And I'm guessing you're still friends with the girl that kept setting you up;)
when i was in college i went out out a blind date ON VALENTINES DAY OF ALL DAYS with a guy a friend knew. when i got to his house he handed me a single rose wrapped in paper (obviously from a gas station) and then commented how good my ass looked the pants i was wearing.
THEN…. to top it off…. he drove us through the burger king drive-thru for dinner. No, im not kidding.
Needlesstosay, I NEVER saw him again.
ps- i am long time lurker, 1st time commenter, and ive decided i want you to be my bff. k??
You are free to comment anytime! Especially if its hilarious like this was 🙂
After some heart breaks, alone time, and also becoming a brand new Christian… I prayed that I can just be happy at my age being single and time went on and I was. As time went on I decided to date. I took the online dating approach. Being as shy as I am, I am really surprised I ever did this. Did not have much luck because I wanted to find the right guy who was Christian and just clicked with me. There was way too many carefree guys and party animals.. you name it. I did not and do not want that so I was picky. Then I decided I had enough of online dating so brought down my profile quite sad. I thought well God will bring a man the old school way or where I least expect it. I was not into dancing anymore, I was only working, i did not want to meet anyone at the gym, I did not want to get set up on any dates… I just wanted to bump into someone like people do in the movies.LOL. Then I got the courage to set up my profile again. I took my chance and just left it up and hoped for the best. I prayed alot and asked God to let me know if I was doing bad in putting my page up. I am very very very shy so doing that was hard. So the emails starting coming in and many guys were the same guys from before, scary ones, weird ones, crazy ones, and none that I cared to respond to. I did not respond to any emails. I just had a weird feeling about all of them. LOL. See at my age and after meeting some people, dating a bit I decided I wanted to just talk to a guy who stood out and had potential. I was being cautious too.
I went to church one night and just prayed to God about letting him take over in this part in my life. Then some time after that I got a very simple email but for some reason I was intrigued. It was very simple….I don't recall the exact words but the young man with a very simple profile and 4 pics I believe wrote me "Whats Up….i like that you are not afraid to talk about God". So i was intrigued but cautious because I had seen some emails where guys were like wow your christian me too, ohhh i am christian too, etc… Well a few exchange of emails went on and after a while I thought to myself I wish this guy would ask for my number. I was already thinking that I wanted to take my profile down for good and kept thinking come on ask for me number so we can keep in touch. I did not ask him but a bit after thinking all that boom he asked for it. I of course took my time to respond LOL.. but we then exchanged numbers and from there he started to text me and i kept thinking i hate texting but went along with it for 2 weeks. At this point for some reason I decided to delete my profile for good. I just did not want it and it was not because of this guy… I just thought if God wants me to meet someone I will and will not use the net. THe next thing yu know after 2 weeks….He calls me finally and it was nice. We talked for a while before I went to my bible study . I recall that day clearly because I was pacing in front of church thinking i have to hang up soon but he called me LOL. Well I let him go. We then talked every day for … you guessed it 2 weeks before he asked me out via text. I kept thinking why over text but said yes. I was intrigued because he was so funny and easy going. He was different from what I normally would go for and well his love for God stood out to me. We had alot in common…. a year later and I am one happy girl. Our date was fun… I broke my rule about not going to the movies… we had dinner, went to the movies and saw a boxing fight ( totally wouldnt have been my idea of a first date ) LOL but i had the bessst time. We laugh about it now because we did all that and he kept saying he couldnt believe that i was okay with going to see a boxing fight. He is lucky my dad was a boxer and that I just wanted to hang out with him a little longer. We dated for a month and Christmas day he asked me to be his girlfriend. We've been dating since then and hope and pray this leads to more….
It is a long lane that has no turning.
Conseils tres interessants. A quand la suite?
Thank you for posting this, It’s just what I was browsing on bing. I’d very much rather hear opinions from an individual, rather than a corporate web page, that’s why I like blogs so much. Thanks!. Hello, sry for my bad english but Ih ave observed your web page and would say that I locate your posts great since they have give me new suggestions and new aspects. Many thanks for this details. tremendous terrific terrific.
You made several nice points there. I did a search on the issue and found nearly all folks will go along with with your blog. http://www.apnatorrents.com/download-kiss-of-death-morganville-vampires-book-8-pdf-free.html
Did you go to college? It sure seems like it, you’ve got a wonderful train of thought – wish I had just one ounce of your energy!
If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.
Will keep an eye on this site
did not think that there are websites left on the www with some subject matter.
Will keep an eye on this blog.
Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.
Can you write more about this please, and let me know by emailing me ? how to grow taller
Hey guys, if you’re serious about making money online you need to check out Commission Crusher!!
It is nice to find a site about my interest. My first visit to your site is been a big help. Thank you for the efforts you been putting on making your site such an interesting and informative place to browse through. I’ll be visiting your site again to gather some more valuable information. You truly did a good job.
Jim // Sunglasses Of The Month Club
I high appreciate this post. It’s hard to find the good from the bad sometimes, but I think you’ve nailed it! would you mind updating your blog with more information?
Jim // Water Damage Restoration
I used to be very happy to seek out this internet-site.I wished to thanks for your time for this wonderful learn!! I positively enjoying every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.
Hey guys, if you’re serious about making money online you need to check out Free Mass Traffic!!
Hi Ballerina Fans! I am working for a TV Show here in Cologne and we publish local Angelina Ballerina lookalike Shows. It is wonderful to see and find more and more Ballerina Fans all over the World. Your Website ist a beautiful place to meet each other virtual! Thx in advance
Hello everybody! Is there any chance to get this in german,please?
It’s good page, I was looking for something like this
An fascinating dialogue is worth comment. I feel that you need to write more on this subject, it won’t be a taboo subject however generally individuals are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
It is difficult to find knowledgeable people about this issue, but you could be seen as you know what you鈥檙e sharing! Thanks
I sure am happy that I clicked on the link for this page.
It’s arduous to find knowledgeable folks on this matter, however you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
Hey guys, if you’re serious about making money online you need to check out Click N Bank!!
Hey guys, if you’re serious about making money online you need to check out Commission Hijack!!
It’s so tough to encounter right information on the blog. I really loved reading this post. It has strengthen my faith more. You all do such a great job at such concepts. ..can’t tell you how much I, for one appreciate all you do.
Jim // earn extra cash