We don’t know much about Saint Valentine, but his legacy is pretty conflated. The guy was a rebel who went against Roman authority and raged against the proverbial machine. Basically, he raised an angry fist to authority and said, LOVE YOU!

When Christian marriage was banned and illegal, Valentine performed religious ceremonies for Christians who wanted to be joined in holy matrimony. There isn’t much in history about him, but his belief in love and commitment is one to be admired.

Admired by all. 

I was unmarried for 10,950 days and have only recently been able to share a bed with someone I love. But it’s all too close to pretend I can’t remember being President of the Lonely Hearts Club. I was the one wearing black, rolling my eyes as women gawked over dinner plans and roses, while joking about going out with two men simultaneously [Ben&Jerry loved me, people!]. I would drive home on Valentine’s day and ask my parents to make some fattening dinner so I could drown my feelings of aloneness in Paula-Deen-amounts of butter.

While single girls were getting dressed up and watching chick-flicks to celebrate Single Awareness Day [aka Valentine’s Day for singles], I believed those activities were drawing attention to my pathetic love life so hid behind the door of my parent’s home.

A couple years ago I resolved to be like Valentine. As I begin to research his life, I was painfully slapped with a stunning revelation. Valentine took great risks, went to great lengths, rebelled against authority to preserve love and marriage… yet he was single. Yes, Valentine himself was not married, but single.

In the year 269 AD, Valentine was sentenced to a three part execution of a beating, stoning, and finally decapitation all because of his stand and resolve to celebrate committed love. He believed in making a sacrifice in celebrating the lives of others, even if that meant his pain.

Some of my closest friends are in a season of singleness and I don’t want to talk about chocolates and roses and gifts on Valentine’s day. I want to celebrate love… even when it hurts. To celebrate unity… even when alone. To remember others… when it’s easier to think of self.

That’s what Valentine did. And that’s what I want to do. Happy Valentine’s day, friends! You are loved.

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