After my three-year dysfunctional relationship with Satan* ended, I memorized Psalm 34:11, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. For six and a half years I was President of the Single Hearts Club. Yes, I was the self-professed Six Year Single. I joked about it, but inside I struggled with doing Life alone. I did everything by myself; shopping, eating out, studying, driving to holiday functions, hanging with groups of friends.
There were times where I didn’t mind; other times weren’t as successful. Many nights after youth ministry I would chill with my two friends, Ben&Jerry, while watching You’ve Got Mail as I never received any mail. Pathetic? Yes. Honest? Oh, yeah!
But here’s one thing I took for granted: I called out to my one, true best friend 24/7*. When someone couldn’t listen, when no one would care, when everyone was busy, I leaned upon the only one who was there. I would have honest and tough conversations with my Divine Love about how lonely I felt, how ugly I must be, how ridiculously pathetic I was for watching hours of television on Valentine’s day so I wouldn’t be seen alone.
But He listened. And cared. And gave me peace. Was I alone? Yes. But I had someone who was close to me… because the Lord is close to the brokenhearted.
So, let’s do some market research. If you’re single, what’s one thing you enjoy about being single? What’s something you hate about being single? If you’re married, what are things you miss about your singleness? If you’re married, please be gentle! And as always, please remember singleness is not a disease 🙂
*Satan is a fictitious name to protect the [not-so] innocent.
*24/7=24 hours a day, seven days a week
this is so great. probably because I can relate in every way.
Single? yes.
And I know exactly where you’re coming from about watching You’ve got mail with Ben & Jerry. Except I didn’t date *Satan {haha – } but I still remember what it was like being in a place of loneliness.
But i came to a place of being content and satisfied (after many nights with Ben, Jerry & My Bible)
anyway, all that to say I can relate.
What do I like about being single?
I love the time devoted to learning who God wants me to be…of course I’ll always be learning, but it’s an undivided attention as I’m single.
What I DON”T like about being single:
Every time I come home from a trip or from the grocery store,As I carry {and sometimes drop} my {extremely heavy} bags or suitcases into the house, without fail I think, “Now would be a good time to be married”
I think I’m a little late here but I will answer anyway. I’m going on 2 years of marriage in May and I miss a few things. I sometimes miss my alone time. I loved living alone when I was single. Yes, I used to get lonely once in a while but I really did love my alone time away from friends and family. There are also sometimes when I miss having my own money and money for that matter. I always thought that when I got married I would have more money. I was wrong but I’m happy (not content but happy) and completely trusting in the Lord to provide now. Which is something that I never thought I could do before because I always had money. It’s amazing to see the different ways the Lord provides for us. (My husband has been out of work for a year now) We sit back and laugh at how AWESOME God is and we can’t believe the weird situations and people He uses to provide for us.
Oh and one last thing…..it is harder to be married than it was to be single. At least it is for me. I actually have to die to self now. I never had to do that when I was single.=)
I’m single now and I have really learned to love my 2nd chance at a season of singleness. 3 yrs ago my best friend/fiancee ended our relationship. It did not end well, was not easy, and took a long time to come to terms with. I haven’t wanted to date since then. I think mostly fear of getting so close to someone and having another relationship end up being that painful. But that is slowly changing.
In these last 3yrs, God has shown me so much! Its been wonderful to have the freedom of singleness to learn to be dependent on Him and learn to let Him meet my emotional needs rather than looking to another person for that. Even though my last failed relationship was totally painful, I see now that the ending of it was the best thing that could have happened. I was so young and totally not ready for marriage, but through the pain God has been able to grow me spiritually and emotionally in a really big way. I know this season will not last forever, but I am certainly enjoying it while I can.
I love being single for the amount of freedom I have. Its no big deal for me to pack a bag and fly out 2 days later to see a friend on the other side of the country, work weird hours, and travel for work is fun because I can just pick up and go and not worry about needing to get home.
One thing I hate about being single is that a lot of my friends are now married and some have little ones. I’m really am happy for them, but I totally feel like the odd ball in a room full of married couples! It has led to some rather comic situations at times.
Thanks Bianca.
I appreciate your prayers, and I’m feeling much better.:)
Hmmm…good exercise!
I'm 34 and single – I don't WANT to be single – but I know that God has me waiting…waiting, waiting, waiting. So I pray and follow His will.
Somethings I enjoy about being single: the last brownie is always mine, I can eat out if I really feel like it, all decor choices are mine alone. Things I absolutely do NOT enjoy about being single: waking up alone every morning, going to sleep alone every night, all the bills and chores are mine alone, after a hard day – and my married or single mom gal pals are all home with their families – I still have no one to physically go cry to or lean on.
I'm excited about the man God has planned for me – I know that if my relationships haven't worked out so far – it's because God has something EVEN better planned – and THAT is exciting. Thank God He can take my mistakes and do something better than I could've ever hoped for or imagined. I'm ready for those butterflies in my stomach that dizzy feeling after a good first kiss. In the mean time…I have bills to pay, a house to clean…and thank the sweet Lord – a brownie to eat 🙂
I just want to say that "I Know" what you went through with *Satan because I know him first hand and I want you to know that you did the right thing to listen to your sister and stay away. Know that he hasn't changed and if anything he needs help and prayer – in boat loads. I am happy that you have found someone that Really does know the Lord and that is supportive in all you do and love. That's how it should be. It's true what you said about our Lord being with us in the hardest and loneliest of times and trials…I had my own experience with cancer, breast cancer, at age 30…didn't run in the family, but even though those days were one of my most difficult, but not the most difficult (I’ve had others), I KNEW the Lord was with me through it all, and so I was at peace with it. I struggle with it now, because I still morn everything I lost and went through, but this is human. –cont…
(2nd part cont.) Yet, I know life goes on and with our Lord guiding the way and Knowing that his Love is the only love that really matters, I find strength and patience in the trials life throws my way, to this day. I'm glad that you were able to take those 6 1/2 years to find yourself and grow emotionally, spiritually (personal), and in your career. Trust me when I say this, the Satan (GR) you left behind was one of the best things you could have done. May you be happy on the new, loving path you are about to partake in with your soon to be husband. Take care and God Bless You and yours.
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