When I was nine years-old, I went white water rafting with my church. None of my family went with me. Just me and 25 adults who vowed to watch over me down the American river. Armed with nothing more than a life preserver and an oar, I climbed into our boat and sat through the borrrrrrrring training from our boat captain. Yeah, yeah, whatever, man. Let’s just get in the water!

The one thing out of the 45 minute training I remembered was that if I were to fall out of the boat, don’t try to reach for the rope on the boat and don’t try to get back on the boat during a rapid. Not only will you fail, you will injure yourself in the process. The best thing to do is to let go and go with the flow. 

Let go and go with the flow. Got it. Let’s go!

The rapids were massive and thunderous, clamoring and shouting their strength with each roar and wave. The confidence I once possessed was deteriorating with each rapid and before long I was huddled in the middle of our boat during each rapid, clinging to the rope that tethered our safety kit to the side.

If I stay in the middle, if I stay in the boat’s safety, if I hold on to the rope, I won’t fall out. I. Won’t. Fall. Out. 

Grace. It’s a funny word that comes from the Greek word, charis. As far back as the poet Homer, the word was used to signify “favor,” “goodwill,” and “lovingkindness” from someone in power to someone without it.

[Yes, I’m a Word Nerd.]

In simplest terms, grace is having a relationship with someone’s heart, not their behavior. The term is used over 156 times in the New Testament whereas to describe God’s favor on behalf of sinners. But to me, grace feels like a river with fast torrents and jetties and rapids that I can’t control or expect; I can only let go and go with the flow.

The captain looked at me with kind eyes and said, You will fall out. Everyone does. But you will be okay if you hold on to your life preserver and let the rapid take you. I nodded like I understood, but in my mind I knew this dude has been in the sun too long! There was no way I was leaving the boat. Everyone else had fallen out but not me! Not I! I’m a survivor! I use exclamation marks!

We hit the rapid and I flew out in one fatal swoop. I saw the eyes of the captain and my boat mates look at me as I plummeted underwater and swirled in the rapid. Then I remembered: Let go and go with the flow.

I let the wave carry me through the rapid as I chocked down water, gasping for breath. Moments passed that felt like forever, but I had made it through the rapid and clung to a rock until the captain circled into the jetty I was in. He pulled me in and said, See, you survived! Sometimes we need to get knocked around to appreciate what we have.

Years laters I can look at the situation and realize that I view the boat as LAW and the river rapids as GRACE. I wanted to hold onto the safety of legalism, but who can really stay within the confines of the Law? Every once and a while we need to get sucked into grace and loose control—or as the captain would say, Let go and go with the flow. Grace will carry you through. You will survive.

Have you been propelled out of the boat of legalism? Did you survive the rivers of grace? Am I the only one who wanted to punch the captain the face during a rapid? Am I the only to question the captain?