Come on! Run faster! Push harder! Score! He was yelling with intensity that muddled the line between encouraging and demanding. The sun beat down on our heads as ten prepubescent soccer players ran up and down the grass field. One father paced up and down the field shouting out commands, plays, and grunts of frustration as his son tried his best to do his best.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m a vocal cheerleader and have had my shares of unflattering comments and gestures to sporting official and referees. But there was something disconcerting about watching a father yell at his son to do what he couldn’t do: more.
I watched the son sprint up the sideline exhausted and try with all his strength to kick the ball into the netted white goal. Try as he did, he failed. I don’t remember if we won or lost the game. All I remember was seeing the dejected child hang his head as his father immediately gave him suggestions on what to do next time to ensure multiple goals once he walked off the field.
Livid—seething to give this father a piece of my mind—I had to walk away. I wanted to yell at the father. I wanted to know if the father ever been a position on the field like his son. I wanted to ask when the last time he actually ran a lap, let alone throughout a game. I wanted to but I didn’t. Something stopped me.
It wasn’t an audible voice to hand falling from the sky, but I was definitely stopped.
It was as if I was given an opportunity to see myself through the actions of the father. I have friends, siblings, and acquaintances who I’m constantly yelling, Go faster! Push harder! Run quicker! They are proverbially running their course in the best way they know how. When was the last time I was in their shoes? When was the last time I simply encouraged their effort?
I sometimes ask people to do what they cannot do: more.
Yes, my intentions are good and I want the absolute best. But I perhaps my definition of best isn’t God’s definition of best.
What would it look like if we simply applauded the effort rather than the outcome? Of course we want the best for our friends, family, and acquaintances, but sometimes in the game of Life, simply playing and giving it our all is success. God knows we aren’t perfect. Why should we expect anything different of those we love?
Play the game. I’ll be the one on the sidelines cheering you on! 😉
This is AWESOME, B!!!
PS – I was at church yesterday and for some reason just decided I needed to find you and say hi and give you a hug. But I was with a friend and she wanted to get going. So here’s a virtual hi and hug! Miss you!
JJ! I haven’t seen you in FOREVER. Seriously. I’ll be there this Sunday so make sure and hit me up 🙂
what a great analogy! as i read along i was beginning to get a bit angry at that father as well… but reading your analogy really made me check myself. i will be watching for this in my conversations this week, because i know i do it too.
You made me cry, girl!!! Probably has to do with being 4`11″ and not being able to run faster, go harder, score when I was a kid. (And on top of it all becoming a book nerd!!)
You’re so right that we need to praise people for just trying. Like the athlete in yesterdays Olympic Women’s Marathon. She finished last, 59 minutes behind the winners, but she finished the race. Apparently the crowd cheered louder for her then the winners.!! (Paul, your “boyfriend” would be proud of her)
I think I needed that cry….
Thanks
This has just reminded me again how awesome my parents are and were when I was playing sports. Several times I remember curling up in tears with my dad thinking that I’d let him down only to have him give me a hug and tell me that he was proud of me. He’d ask me if I did the best I could, and most of the time I could say yes. When I couldn’t, we’d talk about ways to make it better.
I probably wouldn’t have held it together as well as you did. I probably wouldn’t have confronted him, but would have definitely thought about letting all the air out of his tires or something like that.
awesome!
Beautiful – thanks for sharing B! I will celebrate the effort not the outcome – love this!
Big Hug
e