Internet, you know I love love. Every time I get to talk about relationships from a spiritual, plutonic, or marital standpoint, I am tickled pink with excitement. Well today I get to share on my friend Joy’s blog about a lightbulb moment for her awesome series, Illumination.Joy is part of Love and Respect Now, a ministry tailored for outworking healthy relationships for the next generation. When she asked me to participate in this series and talk about how I stumbled through meeting and marrying my Matthew, I immediately agreed. Anytime I can talk about eternal boyfriend, I do! I love that man 90% of the time and the other 10% I forget about when he hugs me. No lie.
Below is a sneaky peek of the post with a link over to the read the full thing in it’s entirety. I can’t wait for you to connect with Joy on her blog. She’s truly a dear friend and I hope you love her as much as I have grown to! Cheers…
It’s Just Coffee
I remember the first time it hit me. It was like a lightbulb went off above my head like they do in cartoons, including the yellow illumination from the heated center. Yup. Just like the cartoons.
His exact phrase was: “Ok, but it’s just coffee.”
I’ll rewind a bit to provide some context for my lightbulb moment. For starters, I was 28 years old, completely single, and the only thing keeping me warm at night were my two friends, Ben&Jerry. I wasn’t the girl who cried about singleness and bemoaned when friends started dating or got married. In all honesty, I was more afraid of dating than I was of being single. Hence my safety-net friendship with Chunky Monkey and Phish Food ice cream.
It had been months years since I had formally been asked on a date so perhaps I was a wee bit rusty in the proverbial dating department. Throw me a bone! I was a home-schooled, pastor’s kid who couldn’t date until I was 18. No lie. But I digress. When Matt—the cute boy with blue eyes and fair skin—asked me to coffee, I said yes because it was the natural progression after two months of email correspondence.
But after I accepted, I immediately called my BFF and blurted out, “Uh muh gawd, HE ASKED ME TO COFFEE?!” To which she sighed and reminded me that a coffee date isn’t a marriage proposal. I told her she was right. She said she knew she was. And I hung up the phone.
Left to my own devices, however, I concocted all the reasons why I shouldn’t accept and why it was weird and I really didn’t know what a coffee date meant (for someone who hasn’t dated since George Bush senior was in office, this was serious stuff!). After reading a litany of books about dating/courting/dourting, I’ve “Kissed Dating Goodbye” and waited for “The One” so I can have “Smart Love.” Yes, Dr. Phil and Joshua Harris would be proud of my studying habits.
But Dr. Phil didn’t educate me on, oh you know, being normal! Let’s get real, people. When Matt asked me to coffee the possibility of ending up dead in a ditch really did cross my mind because I really didn’t know him. As a dramatic Latina, I will always think of the WCS (worst case scenario) so it was on the top of my list. After successfully plotting my storyline death for Dateline’s “How to Catch A Predator” I wrote a three-screen email to Matt explaining how:
- Everything was moving too fast (LIE 1)
- I’m not looking for a serious relationship (LIE 2)
- My involvement in ministry and serving Jesus precluded me from having a relationship (LIE 3)
- He seemed like a really nice guy but I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend (And then I sprouted a long, Pinocchio nose)
To continue reading the rest of the post, click HERE.
For me, my very blind date who is now my husband of 7.5 years told me, “We are just meeting for tacos.” I did have him bring I.d. with dmv driving record so crazy Latina did take over.
Bianca thank you for being so honest!
I can see myself so much in what you say:you were afraid of dating rather than being single)!!
You are such an amazing communicator and writer:)))
Can’t wait for your next post and your blog is my fav!!
Thank you for posting on my site. People are loving it and I even had a friend tell me tonight on the phone what line convicted her the most. Oddly enough it was the same line that got me.
I’ll tell you…when I see you next. (-:
Adios. (Do you know what that means?)
Love you!
u always seem to speak things the Lord speaks to me…confirmation 🙂 U r such an inspiration to me. God bless.
This.is.my.life. haha the only difference is that instead of sending three screen emails, I send one paragraph long emails. ouch, right? But yes, my fear of dating is definitely stronger than my fear of being single! I don’t even know why!
Is there a fee for this dateline? I wouldn’t mind trying it! Ive been single for quite a lot of years! I run into a lot of players! I’m not a bad looking gal! I’m 61 year’s old, 5 foot 2, brown hair, green eyes, 120 pounds.