I don’t know how to ask for help.
I don’t know how to admit I can’t do things alone.
I don’t know how to say I’m better with you than without you.

I like keeping personal things behind a sheer veneer—you can see the outline of things, but not the full image. I’m very open with many aspects of my life, but certain things I like to remain private. My wedding is a sensitive topic because there are so many people we’d want to invite, yet for a number of reasons we cannot. So I don’t discuss it because I feel like I’m flashing my Willy Wonka golden ticket like Violet Beauregard while crewing gum and needed a spanking!

However, after an email exchange with a sweet blog reader who wrote out a prayer for me and the wedding, I realized I need to solicit prayer. But I don’t know how to ask for help. I don’t know how to admit I can’t do things alone. I don’t know how to say I’m better with you than without you. But I need to, I can’t, and I am.

With the current US divorce rate at a stunning 52%, I’m terrified I’ll fail at marriage. Fail at the mutual submission thing. Fail at respecting my mate. Fail at doing laundry. Fail at remembering to be a good wife. Fail at remembering to not let this kids play with toxic liquids under the sink. Yes, I’m just afraid of failing.

The veneer is stripped and I’m raw and unfinished. I’m shamelessly asking to please pray for me. If you’ve been a blog reader for a minute or a month, you’re part of this community… and I’m better with you than without you. Can I ask for the biggest favor from you? Can you please pray for the next nine days for our pending marriage? I’m including some prayer requests and hope you please think of me 🙂

  • Pray Matthew loves me unconditionally [even if I don’t know how to load the dishwasher or make espresso]
  • Pray I lovingly respect my husband and give him the best of me
  • Pray our wedding is a reflection of divine love and perfection
  • Pray I take time out of the day to enjoy the small things like laughter and tears and nervousness and joy
  • Pray I don’t sob like a baby while I recite my vows to the man I passionately love
  • Pray for moments of divine favor from God as we commit our lives together until the day we die
  • Pray for peace, harmony, and [for Matt’s sake] punctuality 😉
  • Pray for finances to be met, bills to be paid, and debt-free living
  • Pray our marriage to further the kingdom of God  and bring glory to His name
  • And because I’m totally vain just like every other woman in America, pray I take Matt’s breath away when he see me!

Live in love…
B

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