How to Lose An Intern

1. Make an intern feel safe. Invite them in with humorous jokes and light banter.
2. Create cultural exchange and dialogue. Use food as a gateway for more meaningful interaction and ethnic appreciation.
3. Convince intern to try new foods. Nothing says “welcome to the team” like breaking bread together through shared experiences.
4. Discover intern is allergic to peppers and send intern to the hospital. Seriously.

Yes, it went something like this.

Around a long wooden table of A21 interns we laughed about stories of life on foreign soil as we welcomed Claire, our newest intern and resident kiwi (New Zealander) to Greece. We all know food is my love language [even though Matt still doesn’t believe me], so I tried building bridges through feta cheese and lamb kabobs, convincing her of the amazing food Greeks invented. [Because apparently Greeks invented everything!]

Being vegetarian and new to Thessaloniki, she picked at her bread and passed every plate that came her way. I tried everything from, “Do you want some roasted eggplant? It’s great!” to “Try this beet salad, it’s awesome!” But she scrunched her nose and passed on my suggestions.

When the clay pot of melted feta and sautéed vegetables arrived at the table, I announced that this dish was food of the gods (as well as vegetarian friendly) and everyone would have to try it. Without time for a response, I poured two spoonfuls of the melted mixture on Claire’s plate and uttered the famous last words: “Try this and your life will never be the same.”

Apparently, I’m a prophet.

The table dove into the appetizers and devoured every last bit on our plate. I looked at Claire with a raised eyebrow to get her response on the best thing the Greeks ever invented when I heard her utter, “It feels like I can’t feel my tongue.” I assured her she just had to get used to the spices and dollaped another spoonful on her plate.

A moment later Claire gets up from the table without saying a word. The bustling restaurant was so loud I didn’t even see her leave the table. It wasn’t until Elisa got up from the table to look for her that we noticed something was wrong.

Minutes later, a frazzled Elisa grabs her purse and informs us that Claire couldn’t breathe and asked one of us to call the emergency number because her throat was swelling closed!!!!!!!

In true Greek comedy form, I put my hand over my mouth and thought, Uh muh gah, I’m going to kill an intern?! Thankfully we received a phone call that Claire was fine and had suffered an allergic reaction to the peppers in the dish.

I’m officially banned from dining with interns, but I can honestly say my words to her came to pass: “Try this and your life will never be the same.”