Tooth-less. He was missing teeth, but not all of them. It didn’t stop him from smiling widely as he held is daughter in his arms and kissed her matted hair. She wore a pink zip-up sleeper with footsies and hid in the nape of her father’s neck as we spoke.
She’s beautiful just like her momma. But she’s a daddy’s girl, his gaped tooth smile slowly left his face as he painfully added, and she’s HIV positive. His voice trailed off in the conversation of medicare, prescriptions, and weekly injections. He arrived at the medical clinic around 7:30am with his two children. He was in desperate need of dental care, but since he lost his job three months ago he’s been unable to see a dentist. Or see a doctor. Or provide enough food.
Photo by D. Park Photography
We spoke about life. His life. And what that looked like with an HIV positive wife checked into a local hospital for clinical depression. I wasn’t a doctor or even a therapist. But I was a face who cared and wanted to know about his life, his story, his sorrow.
So I listened. And listened. And listened.
More than anything he wanted to be known. He wanted to be heard. He wanted to share his story so he told me his name, his daughter’s name, and his son’s name several times. I’m not embarrassed to talk about it. I want everyone to know our story. Everyone needs to know it can happen to anyone… anyone. He turned his mouth and kissed Linda Pearl’s matted head with his tooth-less mouth and cried in the nape of her neck.
Dan Allender said our name is our identity and most likely the only syllables and sound that will mean the most to us in our entire life. Dale Carnegie developed a multimillion-dollar business based on teaching people to win friends and influenced people by saying someone’s name a minimum of three times during a conversation. A famous television sitcom sold the setting and premise from the show with the tagline, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.”
And just like you, and me, and Rusty, we want to be known.
I walked Rusty over to the STD and HIV testing center when his number was called. I told him I will be praying for his family, but most importantly I’d keep telling his story. Rusty’s words spoke depths of truth, It can happen to anyone.
Photo by D. Park Photography
Black, Latino, Muslim, Filipino, White, and Asian men and women lined up as early as 1:00am on Saturday morning to wait for free medical, dental, and vision care. And each one of them had a story as to why they were there. I wasn’t extracted teeth or drawing blood, but I was listening—and listening matters.
Today life will go on. I will work, eat heartily, brush my teeth and live prescription-free. But life will not be the same because I met Rusty who was hoping he wasn’t HIV positive, Linda Joy who laughed carelessly unaware she was battling a disease, and countless others who simply wanted to be known. Their life will go on and so will their story.
Bianca, thank you for sharing this. Very true.. it can happen to anyone and everyone wants people to know their name and to know their story. Thank you for sharing his story! It really touched my heart. 🙂 Have a blessed Monday!
Bianca ~ So true… everyone does want to be known. Thank you for sharing his story!
And this reiterates your previous challenge to live simply so others can simply live.
Thanks for being the hands & feet & ears of Jesus!
Bianca, thank you for this story. My husband works in the HIV/AIDS unit for the county. He councils people, tests them, and gives them the results. He comes home emotionally drained and sometimes crying because a baby, child,a teen or pregnant mother has tested positive.
These people… sometimes… most of the time.. just want to be heard. And those who’s desease has progressed to AIDS, just want to be held, a hug, a caress, a kiss in the cheeck, just so they can feel human again.
We need to remember who Jesus hung out with, who He touched, who He healed.
May God bless you and the church for what you,ve all done for the community.
Thank you so much for that! I have lost an uncle to AIDS and his brother is currently fight AIDS. I know full well the affect this disease has on the family and loved ones. It’s scary and people are misinformed. They need love, touch and to be heard and so do their families. I can’t emphasize that enough. I know first hand how lonely and hard it can be dealing with a disease that has a stigma attached to it, even in the church and Christian community. Thanks so much Bianca!
WOW!!! That was powerful! Thank you for sharing Rusty's story!!!
beautiful and heartfelt…made me cry…it has multiplied my desire to pray harder and find a way to get involved…thanks for being there to hear and listen to him…thanks for allowing God to use you..
Proverb 12:25 An anxious heart weighs a man down,but a kind word cheers him up.Proverb 14:11a Each heart knows its own bitterness;… Luke 2:10b…the angel said to them .."I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you, he is Christ the Lord." Psalm 23…though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil,for you are with me…". Rusty and Linda Joy, we know your names and Jesus knows your names and your wife and son and loves you unconditionally.
Bianca,thank you for living out I Corinthians 13:1 as a person of love for the kingdom of God and His son,Jesus our Savior and Lord.
Powerful stuff! This post cut straight to my heart and convicted me in all kinds of uncomfortable ways…and for that, I say thank you…for allowing the Holy Spirit to work through you and speak through your words!
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