At 24 years old, I was unemployed with a degree from a reputable college, living with my parents, and utterly single. Cleaning offices, baby sitting, or working random editing jobs was how I made ends meet while stiff-arming Sallie Mae from collecting my college loan payments. TIME magazine came out a revealing a new study about 18 to 30 year-olds who were emerging in society ill-equipped and unemployed during the time I lived rent-free under my parents roof.
I was sitting on my mother’s couch in my father’s house eating food they paid for while reading a magazine subscription that wasn’t mine. As the report droned on about the lack of integrity of the next generation entering society, I laid on the couch, dropped the magazine over my face, and cried out, I’M A LOSER!
But let’s take a look at how culture has shifted in the past 50 years:
- We put a man on the moon
- Women stopped wearing bras and broke glass ceilings
- Contraceptives were created
- The US economy has plummeted to depth only seen during the historical Depression (effecting the entire global economy)
- Al Gore invented the Internet! (I kid, I kid)
It’s important to note these factors. As insignificant as one may seem, collaboratively it shapes our entire outlook on self, goals, ambition, and assurity.
I’m watching a lot of my friends get married and I’m still here. The same place I was when I graduated high school 4 years ago. And the “men” I meet at my church seriously need a good punch in the gut to become Godly purposeful driven men (in my humble opinion). —Ally
1. We’re getting married later in life
This is quite possibly the most important factor facing the emerging adult. 50 years ago, the average age women married was 20, and men married around 22. In 2011, the average marrying age is 26-28—and it’s still rising! This is important to note because marriage directly affects the identity formation of emerging adults. Marriage in the past has been a clear indicator of adulthood and created a natural shift in the parent-child relationship.
According to Dr. Arnett (as sited yesterday), getting married at a young age used to provide people with committed partners to help them navigate through life. The doctor notes, “Today, emerging adults don’t have this kind of partnership; instead they rely more on their parents.” HELLO?! THIS WAS ME!
Maybe it was my fear of commitment or lack of suitors, but I didn’t get married until I was 30. When I moved in with Matt, I sat on my bed and cried because I officially became an adult. It was a mixed cry of Oh-My-Gosh-I’m-Old and Oh-My-Gosh-I-Have-To-Pay-Rent.
2. Sexuality has emerged differently
Back in the day, if you wanted to have sex, you had to put a ring on it. [No, Beyonce didn’t make that up.] Sex was the sign of maturity, responsibility, and marital commitment. Now it leans more to personal enjoyment and individual freedom.
Culturally we are creating Peter Pans and Gloria Stienems who don’t want to grow up, but have license to do whatever they want under the guise of liberty.
3. More education
Is all the school really worth it? —Maggie, blog reader
While sitting on my parents couch, crying about being a loser, I decided I was going to graduate school. Even with an impressive resume and 3.84 collegiate grade point average, I couldn’t find a job. So I went to grad school to 1. delay growing up, 2. delay Sallie Mae from collecting loan payments.
The demand for jobs is increasingly competitive. 75% of college students graduate without a job lined up. So, like me, they jump on board the grad school bus for another 2-4 years of education, thus effecting point #1 and point #2. This has totally played into the cultural perspective of emerging adults and fears about growing up, settling down, and being responsible for more than just taking out the trash.
The last and final installment of this series will address the perennial question: What Do We Do Now? I may or may not answer this question, because really, what do I know?! But at least we can work it out together.
Werk it out,
B
If you fall into any of these categories, have stories to share, or questions to ask, feel free to speak now or forever hold your peace. 🙂
Can I get a wut WUT. I totally dislike the way our culture has shifted in this regard! Also, for those who can’t go live with their parents for free, like myself, the problem is exacerbated x10, and sucks even worse. I wish we could shift it back! But alas. That is a very distant hope. Do you like how I went from gangsta to 17th century English all in one para? Just keepin it real, duchess. At the very least, I plan on raising my future children with a work ethic. Whenever they come, since like the rest of my generation, I’m almost 30 and still waiting for the ring. (But let me state for the record that I don’t need a man to be happy). HOLLA.
It is hard for someone like myself, and older person, to appreciate the challenges Millennials are facing and will face. America is no longer anywhere near the top of the list of literate nations, economic strength, innovation, etc., etc., etc. We are gaining ground when it comes to illiteracy, infant mortality, murders and street violence, unemployment, and so on. It is a different time and a far different landscape than the one I saw when I graduated and I feel sorry for the Millennials, and a little fearful that in their lifetimes the US will collapse completely, economically and socially. Let us pray positive change is just over the horizon, but I fear it is not.
Appreciate this post. Let me try it out.
As the “next generation” we’ve lost the good book’s perfect plan of becoming that worker bee who stores its grain in the store house for the fall. We’ve become so internet savvy that we no longer build those 1 on 1, face to face relationships that prompt careers and open doors well before we graduate. We’ve gone from the era of manufacturing to the knowledge based era where the new norm is working with our minds and not our might. When will all this gaming and push control society climax?
On a brighter note, trends show a rebirthing of technology every 3 months. The one thing this generation has over all the previous ones, notwithstanding our lack of live human interaction, is the keen awareness and use of today’s technological resources. While baby boomers refuse to jump on the unstoppable moving locomotive we call technology, newer generations steam roll their way into the future with all of our time saving and efficient new age tools. What might have taken the previous generation a year to accomplish can now be performed in a mili-second (exaggeration added). While aunt Sue flips through the pages of her bible to find a verse the pastor instructed us to find, a millennial has not only found the scripture on their hand held device, but has found the concordances to it, highlighted it, and shared it with all of his or her friends on Facebook.
What we’ve lost in interpersonal skills, we’ve definitely made up for with technology.
How astute would that new age worker ant be if it stored up the good interpersonal traits of past generations all the while staying atop of the “now trending” knowledge based era.
Ecclesiastes 12:12-14a
“But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There’s no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you’re no good for anything else. The last and final word is this:
Fear God.
Do what he tells you.
And that’s it…”
I have great hope in this generation! A magazine’s prophetic diagnosis is no match for what I see in this generation. You’re an extension of my generation & that’s not troublesome to me at all;) You’ll forge new paths but only when you climb onto the shoulders of others & build from there. I see a lot more for you; careers, your calling, innovation. It’s not the end…our ceiling will become your floor! We can do this:) As I have seen the God factor in arenas of the marketplace, education, family, media, arts, religion, & government your eyes will be trained to see it too:) I have great hope in you!
I can appreciate this post because I am a 24 year old college graduate still living at my dads house. It feels like every day I’m trying to reassure myself that I’m not a loser, as depressing as that sounds, and instead I’m just stuck in that transition period. Currently I’m working at a gym in order to make ends meet, but feel like I’m disobeying God for 1. Being a salesperson (who knew businesses were only all about business?!) and 2. Letting work consume my life and therefore letting work distance me from God. Funny enough, the way I found your blog was through Instagram when I stumbled upon your dads Instagram (aka known as my trusted pastor), which by the way I have no idea how I stumbled upon his Instagram when last I remember I was admiring some fitness guru. God works in mysterious ways, is all I keep thinking. Any who, this post gave me hope that I wont forever feel like a “loser”, that maybe the only reason I’m considering grad school is because it seems like the easiest thing to do at this point, and hopefully by 30 I’ll be on my way to figuring out what God wants me to be doing. I’ll pray for your struggles with finding a happy balance with health and fitness if you promise to pray for my struggles with my current life. Jk. I’ll still pray for you. I’d love to help you by the way! God Bless!
Praying for you! XO