It’s hard to be 23. I’m not a kid but I’m not considered an adult either. I’m most frustrated about the fact that I don’t feel like I’m the person that I should be. —Anonymous blog reader
Bar Mitzvah. Sweet Sixteen. Quinceanera. Circumcision. Every culture has significant rites of passage which signify crossing the threshold from childhood into adulthood. Whether there’s a Latin American spiritual presentation like in a quinceanera, or a Kenyan community event like a circumcision, the line of demarcation clearly grants someone access to sit at the adult table of life. Gone are the kiddy chairs and plastic plates, you’re an adult.
But modern Western culture doesn’t have clean transition lines and stepping stones in life. For this reason—and many others—adulthood in the West is idealized, unclear, and difficult to define for those stuck in the 18-30 age medium. Leading sociologists are determining that certain characteristics of adolescence are now extending late into people’s 20s and early 30s. One physiologist speculates that there now exists a new phase of life between 18-25, coined as emerging adulthood.
To simplify this for us all, I will refer to the great philosopher of our time—Britney Spears—and quote her saying, I’m not a girl. But not yet a woman. Not a child, not yet an adult, but something like a delayed junior high experience with bad clothes, no job, and living with your parents.
It’s okay to not have it all together and all figured out. And it’s okay to be broken and it’s okay to ask for help. —Julie, blog reader
But my friend Kyle has encouraged me to fail gloriously. In doing so, it allows others to have the permission to do so as well. I’m not a theologian, psychologist, or sociologist, but I love learning about cultural trends and how they pertain to the church, our lives, and love.
The next two days we’ll take a look at how shifting culture perpetuates the Peter Pan syndrome (I don’t want to grow up), how the sexual revolution has made marriage and relationship difficult, and how we can act like adults even when we don’t feel like we are. According to a recent TIME magazine cover story, we can’t help it. It’s the ME ME ME Generation.
Intermixed will be the questions some of you asked in previous posts. Thanks for your comments and sharing your fears. I’m right there with you!
Questions, comments, and/or clarifications are open for discussion. For those stuck in the emerging adulthood stage of life, it’s never too late to have a quinceanera! We Hispanics know how to throw a party!
Never too late for a Sweet 16,
Bianca
” Gone are the kiddy chairs and plastic plates, you’re an adult.”
Thirty*cough* and, why am I coughing, I’m younger than you?! Anyway, Thirty-one and still at the kiddy table. And Proud of it.
Nice post though, looking forward to the series………………and of course the inevitable book I will nag you into writing because you mentioned it in passing one time 🙂
Of course! Love the nagging. 🙂
I will be tuning in for this series!
I just had my fourth birthday after turning thirty (I still can’t say the number.)
I have issues with age. I know I need help (sigh)
What I have come to realize is that most of the issues that many of us face— whether it’s fear of growing old or fear of not being grown up enough… the root of the issue is buried under expectation.
When we were young, we came up with all of theses expectations—how a youngster should behave— what an old head should accomplish. Then, reality sets in an we just do the best we can— but those expectations linger…
Can’t wait for part two!