Today I asked Matt if I could steal his blog post. He did a really good job of posting the essence of our relationship the past eight months, so I hope you don’t mind reading his perspective on the process of being one 🙂 Enjoy!
We were sitting at the table, side by side, with our laptops open and it was a month into the wedding process at this point. The discussion had been about who was going to do what. Of course it was her day, so I did the best I could to surrender all opinions and control to her. But that didn’t work so well.
I tried to be helpful the best way I knew how. This included:
- An excel spreadsheet with addresses of all of our guests
- A comprehensive budget
- And a 72-point checklist and deadlines to prepare for the wedding
I literally thought I would win the Fiancé of the Year award!
So as I prepared to win the award, I started to design the spreadsheet. I don’t know what she was working on (something about succulents I’m sure), but she was focused and intense. I did the best to enter in all the information into the spreadsheet but there was some information only she had.
Occasionally I would have to ask for it. Each time I did, I began to notice that she was becoming more and more irritated. I wondered why she was so irritated as I was doing this amazing thing by putting together all the information for the guest list. This continued for a little while until finally she stopped whatever it was she was doing and barked back with, “Why are you doing this?!”
I had never seen this look on Bianca’s face. It was if Satan himself entered her body, created the nastiest, gnarled look possible and made her do it. My jaw dropped—I had no idea what to say at this point but I am sure my response didn’t help the situation.
In our own minds we were setting priorities and planning out what we individually thought were the most important things. She was annoyed that I wasn’t doing what she thought was important and I was hurt because my work wasn’t valued. And vice versa. We realized quickly we needed to learn to work better as a team or suffer satanic breakdowns in our pending future.
This brings me to another learning from the wedding planning process: surrender. Not surrendering our rights, although biblically that is part of it, but realizing that alone we are good, but together we were great!
We both have learned to survive and thrive alone. Not only that but we did it using different strengths. But now we’re getting married and choosing to spend the rest of our lives together because of the greatness of what will happen when we become one. She will make me a better person, leader and father. But this comes with surrendering things that are good in order to become great.
Hilarious. And totally real.
Love you guys as a couple…and as bloggers! ; )
Thanks so much, Jen! But don't worry… we'll keep it together for Rooted 😀
I love it!!! I am sure there will be many more lessons learned from this wedding and marriage. Hey I love the picture of you!!
I think I need to frame another scripture for Matt p ;D
Oh WHATever!
But you totally can give him a frame with this scripture: HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES… AND GIVE THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT 🙂
I will !!
Too Funny! I've been the recipient of that same look a few times. Makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
How many times have it happened? Not me. Not little ol' me! 😉
Hmmmm… does the Southern Steps in 2009 ring a bell?
too cute..u guys make an amazing couple!
Thanks, Christy! I think so 🙂
oh sweetie… you might have the charm of mom and dad but also picked up “the look” 😉
Hahaha I definitely don't want to be on the receiving end of that look! Though I probably dish out (quite generously)…
Oh just you wait and see! Satan will come out of me at one time or another 🙂
Hahahah!! So funny and so true. I was just watching a service a couple days ago on how marriages won't make it if the two don't surrender to each other and stop trying to live their lives seperately. Love you!!
Awwww Tara, love you too!!! Please keep us in your prayers 🙂 xoxo
Oh I most definitely will be praying for you!! You two are soo cute!! God bless you and your marriage! 🙂 Have a wonderfully wonderful weekend!
The look on your face is Priceless! 😉 Praying for your big day AND your marriage xoxo
HILARIOUS!!! ""Satanic breakdowns" … WOW! That was hilarious! Can't wait to meet my prince charming! So very happy that yours found you!!!
Hi Bianca – just an FYI – irrelevant to this post – your website still links to your old blog and now searching on "blog inthenameoflove" brings archives of your current blog instead of the latest post…
Sorry for posting it here – didn't find a better place
OH! the face! Yes, Noel knows that all too well!
hahahahaha.
I’ve loved reading matt’s blogs about you guys. He’s a pretty good writer himself 🙂 He’s funny!
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