November 14th, 2006: I went with X to coffee and he hasn’t called since. It’s me. It has to be me. And my hips. I’m completely alone and feel forgotten… While life is zooming by, I’m crawling through quicksand. Help me be content and show me what in the world I’m suppose to do with my life.
November 14th, 2007: Jealously has overtaken me. I can’t stop comparing my life to hers! A year later and my prayer is the same: pull me from this pit and show me what to do with my life. I’m empty and alone and now officially rejected from two writing houses. Not only do boys not like me, two publishers stopped contracting me to edit for them. REJECTED!
November 14th, 2008: All week you have been speaking to me about faith. I know I’m suppose to have faith in you, so bear with me when I seem faithless. I know you have plans for me. I trust in you. …Serving in ministry has been a huge blessing in my life and meeting new people has brought such joy. As always, reveal your will for my life. And while you’re at it, bring me a good looking man. Kidding. Well, half kidding.
November 14th, 2009: …He’s truly amazing and loves me for me. Not only does he understand what I do, but Matt is actually serving alongside me for the Thanksgiving outreach?! But more than that, I’ve quit asking for you to reveal your will in my life and I trust that every step I take will be directed by you. Empower me to do your will by filling me with your holy spirit. Lordy, you know I need me some power!
November 14th, 2010: Five years. It’s been five years of writing in this journal and I can see your hand in all of it. You’ve never left me or forgotten me. You’ve never let me abandoned you even when I pushed you away. In the darkest of times, you were working. In moments of silence, you watched on with care. In moments of depression, you met me where I was. Five years of journaling have revealed to love me. You really, really love me.
Tidbits of my journal entries. Pieces of my heart. Fragments of seasons passed. So much has changed. So much has remained the same. But in all seasons never stop talking to the One who cares. To the One who hears. To the One who knows our story more than we ever could.
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