He said it was what we needed. He said it was a priority. He said he wanted it modeled by everyone around him. As he said the words I was struck with the profundity of a simple thought. He wants something modeled around him that he himself doesn’t model.
I heard what he said, but remained skeptical about the results. Leadership from a megaphone is hard for me to process because I’m always looking beyond the words and following the actions. The truth is that he really does believe this particular directive is needed and a priority and should be modeled. But I’m not sure he knows how to attain it personally.
If something isn’t modeled personally, it won’t be modeled publicly.
This is where I’m stuck with a new [and convicting] thought. It was so easy to identify the desire and the fear of the leader, while remaining completely blind to my own proclivity to do the same.
On Friday night I sat in a car and realized I want others around me [husband, step-kids, friends] to model something I don’t model in my own life. I want to be dealt grace, but I hold the grace card up like a stealth poker hand I want to hide. I need the warmth of love, but keep the blanket over me and don’t share with others. I want acceptance for my shortcomings, but don’t accept the failures of others without the I-Told-You-So remarks. I want to be open and share truths, but I don’t want stones to be thrown or opinions to change.
But something needs to change… and it begins with me.
Like the leader I so greatly respect, we know something needs to change, but we don’t know how. What I realized very clearly is that it begins with me. Because really, when something isn’t modeled personally, it won’t be modeled publicly.
So true…your words hit me. So many times I’ve been trampled on and also, sadly, done the trampling.
We must live, what we say we live, how else are others supposed to see Christ. If not through those of us who proclaim..then who?
Very convicting post today.
AMEN!
I agree, it’s really nice when those around me walk in love and grace towards me and I don’t have to reciprocate. I expect that, too…
Lately I feel like the Holy Spirit has a big, fat mirror on my heart, and WHOA the ugliness I see… So yes, the change must begin with me.
Amen! Such a good post and totally goes with what I’ve been learning recently. Love you B!!
Well, gee, this is timely. Been realizing how much my words and actions simply do not match as often as they should. And how I expect so much from others, while not living it myself. Ugh.
Thank you for the (grace-filled) kick in the pants!
Hmm, I feel convicted, especially about the grace and love card. I am one to shout out about loving and caring for people regardless of their race and culture, but I struggle with a load crap of prejudices.
Prejudices. I hope I daily wage war against as I hold up the love, grace and we are truly all one in Christ card.
Thanks again Bianca.
OUCH!! The truth hurts and just hit me between the eyes. I need. To. Hear. This. Love this. This is my new perspective I need, this is my prayer today. Dear Jesus push me out the door, help me make the friends I need when I feel lonely and perceive myself, label myself as friendLESS, feel rejected… be my strength to include someone when I feel shut out, to smile and be warmth to someone…. give what I feel I want or need. (such a backward thing, the way love works). Thanks, Bianca. hmm… think I will blog about this topic next….