“I’m alone. Completely alone. In the darkest moments of the night, I lay awake and wish I were dead. No one understands and my closest friends are tired of hearing about how my life could be so bad when it looks so good. I’m depressed. Alone and depressed and afraid of what people will think of me.”
Empathy washed over me like a wave and I knew I had to listen, hold still, and wait until the tide pulled away the hurt, anger, and sadness of the moment. She buried her face in her hands and wept heavy, bitter tears I’ve tasted before.
Depression is an ominous monster which doesn’t go away when the lights come on, when the closet door opens, or when we bury our self under the covers. For men and women haunted by this oppression, sometimes life becomes too much to bear. But they are not alone!
King David, Job, Jeremiah, King Saul, and Naomi suffered waves of depression. Each one of them clung to God and He alone was their healing savior.
But what about today? What about now? Given the economic state of our country and the landscape of familial unit, depression is at an all-time high. It’s been estimated that 86% of all doctor visits are related to stress or depression. Instead of abandoning those in need or turning a callused heart from the depressed, what are some practical ways you can help?
God is ultimately our healer! But there are additional ways to assist and expedite the healing process. Prayer, supplication, medication, and counseling are all great ways of aiding the healing process. I’ve attached a vlog on depression and medication to help start a dialogue. Above all, may we (in)courage each other during all seasons; good, bad, happy, or sad.
The LORD your God is with you. He is a hero who saves you. He happily rejoices over you, renews you with his love, and celebrates over you with shouts of joy. —Zephaniah 3:17
If you’re depressed, how can we pray for you?
I love this post – too many people are ashamed to be living with depressions, especially as Christian's when some people will tell them they are obviously failing to be feeling that way. Thank you for shedding light on it.
I'll admit I take anti-d's for bad PMS (you DO NOT want to mess with me when I haven't taken them!) but it can be a hard thing to admit to sometimes as people just assume you are totally unstable.
More people need to speak up and say that it's ok to feel your pain – our faith doesn't make us indestructable, it just means that we know where to turn when we are hurting. Thank you for giving people this chance to be heard and accepted in what they are feeling.
And the video is awesome!!
"..our faith doesn't make us indestructable, it just means that we know where to turn when we are hurting." I love that! Very, very true! 🙂
Tara and Suzanne, thank you both for your honesty on the blog topic. It's a sensitive issue and you both were so great!
Bianca,
You have spoken directly to my soul. This week has been so difficult that thoughts of running away have entered my mind. Thoughts of leaving my family, my children, my husband. Your previous post (blog) confirmed to me that it’s time to move forward and jump off.. allow God to catch me. I have fear in my heart so I jump with my eyes closed, hoping, pleading, praying and crying. So i lay here tonight, reading your blog and crying…because once again.. He confirms to me that He is listening, He sees, He cares… I thank you for allowing yourself to be used. I humbly ask… please pray for me as I pray for you.
I am praying for you. Thank you for your honesty.
That my friend, is a word for today…
Thank you, Natasha! I'm fervently praying for you 🙂
I've experienced all of this, and can I just tell you, without breaking down and taking medication in no way would I be where I am today. I thank God every day that He gave me the strength to admit my weaknesses and find a solution.
Whit, thank YOU so much for your honesty. It's refreshing and encouraging! I'm still praying for you.
Bianca, wonderful Vlog!! I struggle with depression and anxiety due to a chemical imbalance, and these feelings led me smack dab into an eating disorder and cutting myself. In the beginning I was COMPLETELY opposed to taking anti-depressants because I wanted to be able to tackle my issues "on my own." However, after much encouragement from my therapist, I began taking medicine and it was indeed what got me over the hump. In the long run, I would love to get off my meds and rely on God and prayer (and exercise!) to combat my feelings of low self-esteem….But I know that I'm not quite there yet. And I think God is proud of me for finally admitting that I am not perfect and I need help….Even if it does come in the form of a little orange pill. 🙂
Depression. I have it. I suffer from it. I don't take medication for it because I don't like what those medications do to ME.
I applaud Whit, N. Gurrola and Suzanne for being able to take those medications, as it has helped you get through those seasons in life when you need it. I will pray for you all because, well I'm there. I have been here for quite some time. I don't like it, I don't like the way it makes me feel, I don't like the way it has begun to control my life in many areas. I fight it. I have a friend who says..text me "dump" when your in the mood and I'll know, I will pray. I don't text her, why? I don't want her to know that the demon has gotten me again. I fight it with my all. I walk, cook, eat, read. I go to the beach.
Depression..it stinks. People tend to move away from you when they see you are depressed. They run like you have the plague. Most people don't know how to handle a person who is depressed or suffers from depression. I've heard people say "Ahh, she is just depressed, leave her alone." or " She/He is in that weird mood again, lets ditch'em."
I have a friend who suffers from Chronic Depression. I understand her. I understand that she just needs to talk. She just needs to cry. She just needs a hug. She needs to know she is not alone in this battle.
Statistics show that depression affects mostly women. Depression is also linked to suicide as one of the main causes of committing suicide.
Depression is serious.
Bianca, I never really knew exactly where I stood on the treatment of depression my thoughts were and still are that if they have a problem there should be no shame in treating it with the proper medication or therapy. However I agree with you that we must look internally at what problems we might have and not have medication to mask over those emotions that might draw us nearer to God, if that is why we are feeling depressed. Such a wonderful post!! Have a great weekend! 🙂
i've totally dealt with depression..those feelings can be unbearable at times…really I thank Jesus that I know him, because I think at some point in my life where i felt hopeless, if i didn't have His hope, I proabably would have taken my life…whatever level i was at, satan would always tell me i was worthless for not being able to kick it…every now and then I still struggle, but from experience, i know i have to immediately get my focus back on Jesus if I'm going to get through it.
I too have struggled with depression. I was at a Christian college surrounded by the presence of Jesus daily. Yet, I still found myself in a state of depression. I finally broke down and took medication for about 6 months to get my life back in order.
Then after realizing the power the medication had on my life–I prayed to God and asked for healing. I asked that he would heal me in a way that I wouldn't have to rely on the medication on a daily basis. Long story short–I was healed by our one and only Savior. I woke up one morning and my joy was restored. Jesus had come into my heart and filled it with HIS joy and peace that no medication can replicate.
Thank you Bianca for being willing to talk about such a "touchy" subject for most Christians. We are not perfect–but our God is.
Courtney, I'm so blessed by your story! Thank you for openly sharing with us all. Much love.
I loss my mother 2 years ago and have been suffering with grief and depression since then. It has been a had time in my life but it has brought me closer to God. Thank you for talking about this topic and God Bless you:)
Lula, I will be praying for you!!! This is a tough situation to be in.
Ive been there! Thank you for using this space to speak about a reality dealt with by many Christians yet most remain because often the Body of Christ responds in hurtful ways. It is my desire to make church a place where others can find comfort and encouragement when dealing with mental illness =)
Awesome! I'm glad this feels like home. Much love, Mari.
I LOVE the new bubbles in the video…so fun.
I've been through blue periods (I sound like an artist, huh?!) and think I may be in one now. I've found counseling to be such an awesome resource. A friend of mine refers to therapy like going to a mechanic. They pop open the hood and tinker about in order to make the engine run better. I felt the same way. No major overhaul was required, thankfully. : )
Jen:
1. I'm glad you liked the bubbles. I worked hard on them.
2. I completely agree with you.
3. You analogies rock.
I want to add that I believe, more often than not, if you visit a doctor or a psychiatrist they will give you medication to treat your sadness and numb the pain – they are PRO MEDICATION. They do not consider situational versus clinical (chemical imbalance) depression. The medication that they prescribe to treat depression is highly addictive. People learn to depend on the drug to resolve the issue instead of their own strength and in Christian circles, their own faith. My rule of thumb is that if you are NOT having suicidal thoughts, consider weekly counseling for one year (or less depending on the situation) and see if you can resolve issues sans medication. If you are able to get out of the bed and feed yourself more days than not, consider counseling. If you are able to drive to work, consider counseling to assist you. Healing takes time and I would rather people think HOPE versus I need a QUICK FIX medication. One more time: If you are having SUICIDAL THOUGHTS seek hospital treatment or call your local crisis line.
Kate, great insight! Thank you so much for sharing your opinion and advice. Honestly, I appreciate it.
1. I loooooove you!!!
2. Am currently on Zoloft.
3. Pretty sure that you (and Jesus) still love me.
I've always been melancholy. Just the way I'm built and one of my first steps in the whole process was identifying that and realizing that I'm not inherently broken or mis-formed by God because I'm not the happy, bubbly type of Christian that says, "BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED PTL" when someone asks me how I am. Being sad, down or discouraged at times does not mean that I'm a bad person or that I have less faith than someone else. My mustard seed and your mustard seed are the same, even if mine is occasionally pouty.
That said, I have been striving ever since I was about 6 to overcome depression. I remember in 1st grade thinking of the song, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms" and thinking it was true and wanting to kill myself. At 6. That lets me KNOW I was totally under attack from Satan because those are such horrible lies. No 6 year old should think those thoughts, yet I did. Nothing was wrong – I had an amazing mother who loved me to the moon and back and I was too little to know that we were poor. At some point in the past 5 years, realizing the stupidity and evilness of the devil in making me feel this way when I was so young actually gave me the strength to give it a name and fight it.
Once I started fighting it on God's terms and in His name I finally saw improvements while I was in college. I knew the whole idea of how words and thoughts shape your life like the rudder of a ship (LOVE me some James!), but it took the application of these ideas to really bring about progress. It also took countless prayers, immeasurable tears and listening to about a million podcasts from my favorite preacher on relevant topics.
A year ago I started a job that I HATED. I became so stressed out, so down and so ANGRY over everything that I finally went to the doctor and said, "Look, I'm crying every night. I hate my life every morning. I need some help." God led me to an amazing doctor who treated me like I had some sense and broke everything down for me, speaking right on my level after I told him I had a degree in psychology. He started me on Zoloft and it has helped tremendously. I don't believe I'm going to be on it forever, but it's something that's helping me through right now.
I've only ever told a couple of people, so I can't believe I'm saying this – but I hope it helps someone. One of the reasons I went to the doctor was because I was terrified. I hated life so much at that point that I would have dreams and visions of my suicide. I saw a belt one night and thought that I'd rather hang myself with it than get up the next morning. At that point, I knew something huge was wrong. It wasn't that Jesus and prayer weren't enough, it was just that I wasn't in a place where I wanted to see the next day…and if you don't have the strength to get out of bed, it's pretty difficult to believe for healing from there. I totally believe that one day I'm going to be off the medication and never have such terrible, dark thoughts, and I'd totally take it tomorrow, but sometimes I have to rejoice over making it through another day.
Parting thought: no one would CHOOSE to be depressed. If it was as easy as flipping a switch, we would.
WOW. I'm blown away by this. Thank you for being so open and honest, Kayla. As always, I'm thinking and praying for you.
The word of God tell us that " Anxiety in the heart causes depresion ." This has set me free , and unless someone has experianced this Monster they will never understand , praise God , as His word says , He sent His word and healed them ." But on a note , please help me understand this ,why do christians tell other christians that its OK to take one's own life , yes I have heard this first hand and it grieves me so . We are to remember the word says that God has made a 'Way of escape" that we can BEAR under the trial , so why would someone do this to themselves , I would have to say "choice" they choose NOT to take the LOrd's way of escape , they choose there own ! And even ona sadder note we are to be without certainty that whebn we go home with the Lord that those we love are with him , but I believe (and I could be wrong) that those who commit suicide do not go with the LOrd , because they have chosen there own way of escape ,and we are "Not to temp the Lord our God ". :-))
Amen, amen! Thank you so much for sharing Elizabeth 😉
Hi Bianca. I was diagnosed with a chemical depressesion due to a chemical imbalance. This imbalance is due to a series of events which i have been exposed to. I am currently taking medication to deal with this imbalance. Your vlog is amazing because it was a real eye opener for me as to what depression is and what God's view is on it. I had no idea that there was so much thought behind it. I do feel that with God's help and many of your vlogs it is so much easier to remain positive through this time. And to remind my self that no matter what i or any other individual goes through, the sun will always come out. Come rain or shine. Depression does not define who i am or what i can amount to be. I know that i am an amazing individual. and like any other individual dealing with depression, and that God has a purpose for my life, as he does for everybody else.
Anda, thank you SO much for sharing. God is bigger than we can ever be and He ultimately saw you through this season! Thank you for sharing!!
What’s interesting is that for years people have gotten frustrated at the EFFECTS of my depression… basically, an all-around horrible perspective on life; foul mood, etc. And that’s what makes it so hard to be honest about the depression, because most people just simply don’t understand… they don’t understand that what they’re seeing on the surface is deeply rooted and almost practically unrelated to that surface issue of the moment.
I’ve been going to see a Christian counselor for a number of years now, which has helped a bit with my depression… being able to talk things out with someone completely unbiased, and getting sound wisdom and advice. Through her prompting, I began taking a mild anti-depressant, even though I didn’t really want to. I am still very skeptical of medicine, as I feel a lot of it simply masks the symptom, rather than attacking the root issue. I eventually stopped taking the meds because I wanted to be off them. I honestly don’t remember if I noticed a big difference when I was on them. All that to say, a couple of months ago, I started going to a homeopathic doctor about my depression, and he’s working on some of the smaller issues that I have that are at the root of what is essentially causing my depression. I actually saw a difference within the first month. It’s taking discipline on my part, but it’s working, praise God!
The thing that so many of us don’t realize, or choose to ignore is how inter-linked everything is inside of us. If we don’t eat properly, or get proper rest, sickness abounds… in all forms – cold and flu, depression, PMS, etc… I say this because I want to encourage people to understand that it’s not enough to pop a pill and expect life to change. We have to be fighting with everything we’ve got! Dig into the Word, embrace what God has for you there; do some research on the foods that you’re eating every day; find time for rest, etc. Figure out what works best for you. It’s a journey, and isn’t it so great to know that we’re not alone on it?? Thanks, Bianca!
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