Oh bliss! Oh rapture! Oh joy! Guess who got her stitches out? 23 glorious knots of black synthetic polymer string was removed from my wrist and I’m bubbling over with joy! Though I’m a looooong way from recovery, the 20 minutes of doctor-approved computer typing brings a smile on my face.
Laying in bed for 14 days has allowed me to count the holes in my ceiling wax philosophically about who I am and why I am neurotically obsessed so deep. One of the things I’ve thought about is my fascination with excess. When Matt would ask why I had 12 bottles of shampoo in our shower or why I have 15 cans of Trader Joe’s lentil soup in our cupboard, I would just shake my head and scoff, Because I can, oh frugal one. Because I can!
Now that I’ve been laid out in bed, I’ve realized the wherewithal is not simply just for hoarding purposes. I actually like having excess so I can give it away. [Except for my lentil soup. It’s rarely on sale.] The ramifications of growing up poor stimulates an innate reaction to hold onto everything you have out of fear that you won’t have enough. This was a powerful realization for me and how I live my life.
I stand on the principle of giving away things for free. I love being able to put the gospel in people’s hands for free and will try to share biblical truths anyway possible. Whether it’s live streaming a teaching seminar or posting stuff on YouTube, I love giving it away for free. Because I can, oh frugal one. Because I can!
It’s been a while since a vlog has been posted, but to stay in continuum with life this edited clip was taken from the teaching I shared at CHIC two months ago. Like the gift of salvation, it’s FREE. [Unlike the gift of salvation, I have not died for it.] In light of my recent wrist-slashing escapades, the message of Who Do You Say That I Am is challenging me to live what I preach. Word to your mother!
Please continue to pray for me. I’m still relegated to my bed until Monday, but I’m praying I will be released by my doctors to start working from home until I’m strong enough to engage in the speed of life. 😉 But thankfully because of faithful prayers from love ones and friends, the doctors say I’m already six weeks ahead of the healing process. I guess counting the holes on my ceiling has paid off, eh?
love it, thanks for sharing! so glad you’re healing nicely.
Thanks Theresa!
Glad you are healing quicker than expected. Sorry you are still counting the holes in your season. But, 20 minutes of computer time is certainly better than none. 🙂
I had this exact same realization in my 30s.
“The ramifications of growing up poor stimulates an innate reaction to hold onto everything you have out of fear that you won’t have enough.”
I, too, have grown to love to give things away, knowing that the Lord will continue to provide.
Laurel
Mama Laurel,
You’re the best! Thanks for the love and continued support.
Awww girl, praying your up and at em’ soon! I know it’s hard to be still in the still God has in sometimes! Praise God for the gift of family and friends to make the healing process better!
Im sure your itching to get up and change the world but enjoy the time of rest before you know it you’ll be flying all over saying ‘werd’
Xoxo
Mon
I am so excited to find your blog and to see how God has taken you and your twin sister to new heights in Him (I read her blog as well).
Thank you for an awesome message and for the reminder that regardless of whether our poverty is in money, material possessions or spirit, God can take us to greater places.
May He continue to bless you, your family and the call on your life.
Monica
So glad you’re back and recovering well!!! Per usual your words are deep and your heart for the Lord beautiful!
Hey Bianca
Glad the wrist is healing quickly. Enjoy the “down time” while ya can… 😉
I am going to have to learn short hand to keep up with you at these conferences on video…lol
You’ve left me with a lot to absorb, think about, learn from….
I too would like to be a Paul, but am more like a Peter: short, skinny, white girl (even with a tan I’m pale)….I want to be the ONE who stands up for Jesus (but being short, would any one see me?? lol)
I still have a lot of “buts” before I have the nerve to stand up. You’re helping me with those “buts” even recovering from your accident…
Thank you….
I’ll be praying for you
I am so thankful you are back.
I tend to be deep /analyzing more than needed at tes too. 😉 I think if I had a choice I would still have chosen to grow up poor. That struggle has revealed the best in me & my family, it’s helped me grow into a better adult… And kept me being a God seeker I think. I can see God’s purpose in it & it wasn’t ever for harm.
“The ramifications of growing up poor stimulates an innate reaction to hold onto everything…”
For me, I’m constantly working on trying to change the bad/poor behaviors. {yet keep the good ones} Like unneeded spending (spoiling kids or “cause it’s on sale”), or poor eating habits (glutton in younger age) …but I always valued/loved to give to others(do for); that’s been my most unchanged behavior modification. I am very grateful for that characteristic (real life lesson) & thank God he’s made me that way. Life is much much much sweeter. 😉
Thank you for sharing that with us. I needed to hear that and be reminded of who I worship despite what everyone else might be doing.
Love you, Ana! I’m glad it was worth sharing 🙂
So glad you are on the road to recovery….and a quick one it sounds. Hope you’re healing continues in the up/good direction! I’ve also come to the same realization in my “wanting” or “needing” things because I didn’t have much growing up.
Bianca – I am so glad that you are healing from your horrible accident. Life can change in one breath, can’t it?
I always try to have “extra” on hand as well. I’m always afraid we won’t have enough – whether it’s company coming over, or running out of snacks for kids, or shampoo, etc. I always have to have extra.
It’s funny how stressed I can get when someone uses up the extra I think I have!