Usher had his confessions and I have mine. Except I actually like sharing them with you because they never end up admitting to infidelity in a pop melody like my dear friend Urrrrrsher. Furthermore, it’s fun when you play along. The last installment of confessions had my jaw on the floor or hunched over rolling with laughter. I hope this round is the same.
To continue the tradition of quarterly confessions, I will kick off the ride with the confessions I’ve been holding on to for the last couple months. As always, they can be serious, comical, anonymous, or linked back to your own blog. Enjoy the ride…
- I stole Parker’s last Reece’s peanut butter cup from Halloween and lied about it. It was literally stealing candy from a baby.
- In the middle of an argument with Matt, I knew that I was wrong but pretended to be appalled at some preposterous comment he made. So I cried in attempts to divert the subject and not admit fault.
- I keep having this recurring nightmare that I’m unknowingly pregnant. My greatest fear is that you’ll see me on TLC’s I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant saying, I just thought it was gas…
- I contemplated opening a credit card in my name without Matt knowing so I can purchase things without having to explain why. I need more than intervention, people! I need a credit blockade.
In writing these confessions out, it all makes sense now! Maybe I stole Parker’s chocolate because the nightmare of being unknowingly pregnant is actually true and I’m having constant cravings of endless sweets coupled with a bad attitude and hormonal changes and I will probably need new clothes and have to apply a credit card and now it all makes sense. Or perhaps I developed a nasty hankering for chocolate, watched too much TLC, and hate keeping a budget. Eh, whatever.
In either explanation, the confessions simply reveal to me [and the cyber world] how much I need to change. And help. And a savior. But like St. Augustine said, Confession is the vomit of the soul. What are your confessions? Go ahead, this is a safe place 😉
So you were serious when you said it was your worst nightmare??? I thought you were kidding.
How weird that I dreamed YOU were pregnant too! 🙂
Oh man… okay so here we go:
I am actually not stressed about my wedding and feel kind of guilty about it.
Every time I drive by the airport (or even think about it) I cry a little and feel soooo much anxiety it isn't even funny… CAN HE PLEASE JUST COME HOME NOW?!?!?
I am secretly a little mad about my dad's promotion because even though it's amazing for him… for me it means losing my pastor of 25 years. Did I mention I can be selfish and self centered at times?? 🙂
I got my belly button pierced last week. At 25. On a whim. Because my mother would never let me when I was young.
I was SERIOUS!!!
And secondly, I can NOT believe you got a belly button ring. I seriously snorted outloud with laughter. You're such a rebel 😉
yes, and may i just say, your mother STILL would not let you! but clearly, she no longer has control… but she does still love you forever 🙂
I got my nose pierced last June when I went to the beach with some friends, just after my 22nd birthday. I LOVE it, and it's really tiny, but I can tell my mom hated/hates it.
The credit card confession I've been there done that and I got in a whole lot of trouble.The dream is a result of so many people praying that you actually do get pregnant.
1. So I shouldn't get the card? Dang it!
2. Please stop praying. I already have two children that drive me crazy, I don't need a biological one to push me over the edge 🙂
u r soo funny…____well….____i am feeling like the biggest. most shameful sin on my list is laziness…i can't tell if its laziness or just a lack of motivation..____my hubby and i got into a fight yetserday and my feelings are hurt so i don't really want to speak to him right now…____when we first got Just Dance I enjoyed beating my seven year old son and my nine year old niece…not so much any more haha
Interesting.
My prayer for you is that your marriage is filled with happiness and joy. Which brings me to the question are you pregnant? I hope you are! 😀
A confession?
Hmm, I started cooking after 3 years of marriage but havent confessed to anyone how much I truly enjoy it. My mom never took the time to teach me so I have kinda had to teach myself. I feel better now. It’s funny how you are the first to know! (:
WHAT!?!?!?! I'm not the only one with a secret crush on Stacy and Clinton?! And that stomach virus thing, I feel you. My sister got a bug and lost five pounds in two days and I asked her to cough on me. We need help.
But until then, this is HILARIOUS!
Vicky and I got food poisoning in Vegas last week.
The 5 lbs? So. Not. Worth. It.
I've said for years that I'm going to start dressing bad just to go on What Not To Wear. I mean I seriously beg my friends to help me hatch a plan to get on that show…have it all planned out in my head. Oh man, if only!!
Just Dance is a blast! i love it.
About the fight with your husband, I'm sorry 🙁 Those are ugly. But here's a lesson I'm (painfully) learning: the sooner you recognize partial fault, the sooner they realize partial fault. Sometimes we have to be the ones who initiate copability, but they payoff is worth it. Time is too short to be angry. I'm seriously praying for you today!
Love your blog, Bianca!
– I'm on the audio team at church and I always open the gate on drums to rock service a little more than the other guys, then I turn the setting back afterward and play dumb about it.
– This stiletto chick is pulling for flats more often than I'd like to admit. I'm getting old.
– I ate handfuls of "sprinkles" once because I had no candy in the house and a serious sugar craving.
– I failed miserably at tithing last year, but this is a new year!
– Secretly I wish I could sit alone in church rather than with my boyfriend as expected. I'd really rather it just be me and God, but I know that would hurt his feelings.
Amy I love your confessions but I have to say something here. I and a few of my friends are trying to break away from being involved with guys who are not Christians. it's killingggg me. I'm overly jealous that you have someone to sit with you at church, don't take that for granted! 🙂
Rock those services! 😀
Confession#1: I get jealous of pregnant people cause I want one so bad. I sometimes think I would be a better mother than some of theese young adolescent mothers.
Confession#2: Sometimes I am happy that I am not a mom cause hubby and I can just think about each other and not worry about financing their education.
Confession#3: I am very involved in family matters and sometimes neglect me and spouse.
Sometimes I want to drop out of school, move somewhere exotic, and take pictures for a living. Except, I've spent five years and a whole lotta money on an education, and I know that quite a few people would be FURIOUS about it.
I'm an athletic training major and I rarely work out. And I eat a lot of sweet things. It's all gonna catch up to me soon, I just know it.
I've never been good at being disciplined in my walk with God. Even though I go to a Christian college, have been in church all my life – nearly everything else I am disciplined about, but not devos. Can anyone say "failure"?
I have several…uh…questionable CDs in my iTunes. Lady GaGa. Katy Perry. Ke$ha. It's embarrassing. But they're still there. And I do dance to them when I'm alone in my room sometimes.
I keep hoping that my boyfriend will propose out of the blue. Even though we've (sort of) discussed it and I know it's not happening anytime soon…
There you have it. Confessions of a college kid 🙂
Funny how even though I'm 7 yrs out of college, I completely resonate with almost all of your confessions. I've been trying to change careers for a couple of years so I could just take pictures for a living. I'm scared to death that my sweet tooth is going to make me gain 50 pounds the next time I blink. I'm on staff at my church, lead a group of high school girls and my devotion times the past 6+ months have been, well, lacking. Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" has been stuck in my head for a month. And I love dancing to it. And I'm in the exact. same. boat. with my boyfriend. Keep hoping he pops the question even though we've already (sort of) talked about it and I know it won't be coming anytime soon… Hang in there, chica 🙂 You're not alone!
Confession #1: As a result of the miscarriage, I see pregnant women and I am secretly relieved that I am not gaining 5 pounds every month and that I am sleeping like a baby. On the other hand, when I hear them even slightly complain about anything pregnancy related, I get upset and feel that they don't appreciate the precious gift. I would rather have gone through the discomforts of pregnancy than have lost the baby…Confession #2: I have also been the pregnant complainer!!! I was alwasy hot! My feet looked like those of an elephant! and the morning sickeness! ugh…It IS HARD, AND IT'S NOT ALWAYS PRETTY!!! I know this..
I serve a sovereign God. I trust Him, but pray for me!
I promise not to complain and think of this post. love you. can't wait for Friday!
I have issues….are you pregnant?
This is Maribel from church?! Mar, I didn't even know. I will be praying for you. WHY am I crying?! I need to stop.
Deep breath, ahhh…here goes my confessions…
I can be ridiculously selfish sometimes
I often get jealous at my best because she is so dang personable and beautiful
I like shopping way too much
I like confessing
Hilarious!
Here's mine…
Last night I meet in man in my dream but to relieved the guilt that i was married and NOT cheating on him I killed my husband in my dream so I can continue filiting….and when I woke up this morning I confess it to him. 🙁 I'm still feeling pretty weird about it. The guys wasn't even my type but he was rich. My head is still spining on this one.
I still hide shopping bags and sneak them in the house when he's not home and pretend it's an old item I haven't worn in years.
To avoid saying sorry to my husband after I snap at him I tell blame it on the fact that I'm STARVING.
I keep a friendship because I needed a friend and after a few jabs and pains the friendship is over and the worst/best is that I DON"T FEEL QUITLTY about nor have any desire to rekindle the friendship. It's the truth.
PS You need to confess that you have a website. Duh.
Ooooh….busted! 🙂
Oh yeah..I've started a blog.
Thanks!
confessions #1: i used to NOT watch tv at all (i was the "i'd rather read a book person) now i LOVE watching real housewives everywhere…. oh and gossip girl.
confession #2: i have about 5 books sitting by my bedside table…and i have yet to read one chapter…. coz i spend my time watching bravo nonsense 😉 BOOKWORM fail!
Confessions: Mine are not so funny though 🙂
1. I know who dislikes me.. I pretend I don’t know and am extra nice to them
2. I hate that people think they’re better than I am. I am lower than dirt so that makes them a worm.. hahaha
3. I enjoy being a submissive wife! I do! I really do!
4. I miss my mom, she’s not dead, she’s just…. evil
5. My younger sister and I have not talked to each other since I was 15yrs old.. I am now 36! 🙁 her choice, not mine :,(
6. I enjoy reading other people’s blogs but would never blog myself.
7. I pretend to get headaches to I can get a break from my kids… it don’t work.. my husband is on to me.. haha
8. I wish people weren’t so judgemental.. I wish Christians weren’t so judgemental..
9. I spoiled my niece so much that she’s a brat now.
10. I had a dream you were pregnant and it was a boy!! God’s honest truth.. I had that dream last night…
So there they are…
N.G.
-I "had words" with a friend and our relationship is very raw. I really want to post about it on my blog, letting her know how I feel. I want it to be fixed but I'm so hurt that I keep picking at it and reliving the pain. The real truth is I want to hurt her as badly as she's hurt me, only I can't figure out how I could do that.
-I listen to naughty music – like Adam Lambert and Lady Gaga and Katy Perry and Jesse McCartney – and I can't decide whether it's ok or bad for my christian witness, so I haven't done anything about it.
-I put up an front on my blog sometimes of being a perfect faithful Christian and I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
-I'm really afraid that the most amazing guy (who I was planning to marry… ahem, ahem) moved out of state and I'll never see him again. I'm also kind of in love with Jim from The Office.
oh dear. I hope my friends arent reading this. although, Brittany probably is (Hi Brit!!)
1. I have heard that it helps to visualize pregnancy while having sex. So, even though my husband and I have "agreed" its not the right time…I am still hoping for an oops!
2. I am a little jealous of my single friends, although I am fully aware that if I was single I would be jealous of my married friends.
3. I have always wondered if you and Jasmine would have kids….
4. And this one might gross ppl out but here it is…sometimes if the toilet is clogged…I blame it on my husband!
5. I am also afflicted with wanting to get a secret credit card.
6. And I have been known to throw away beloved socks, shirts and underwear of Jared's that really needed to be gone. Im sure he has caught on by now!
I really wish the last line would have said "Go ahead, start puking." : )
I love this Bianca. I remember once hanging out with a single friend who was complaining about not having a husband. I literally took the shoe off my foot and shook it in her face and yelled, "Did YOU have to tell anyone how much you paid for YOUR SHOES?" It was not a proud marriage moment, but it was honest. And BTW–she's married now and totally gets it! HAHAHAH!!!
Here goes…
I hate homeschooling and can't wait until August when I can enroll my kids in school for 7 hours a day! I fantasize about it EVERYDAY! But to everyone who knows me…"everything is going great"!
It's funny I just blogged about a little confession!
Well it's kinda big because it kept me from doing a lot of things, so I'll join the group and confess:
* I'm afraid. of a lot of things…
* I'm/was afraid of starting my photo blog. A gazillion questions bombarded my mind with insecurities and froze me from moving, but yesterday I prayed harder than ever and started the blog!! 😀
* I'm afraid of being rejected, people not liking my work, don't think I'm good enough, disappointing God, disappointing my late Dad, my family.
* I confess I like watching TV. rather than read my Bible :S (I'm working on it)
* I confess I would L.O.V.E. to quit both my jobs and go into photography full-time, but I have loans to pay.
I think for today that's it jajaja Thanks for listening! 🙂
I kissed a girl and I liked it.
Confession: I'm in class right now. 🙂
i talk to myself in the car every day. out loud. and if I'm in traffic I'll put my phone up to my ear so people don't catch on.
(hey it's a long commute and it's how i process things. sue me.)
OMG! I do the same thing!!!
-I borrow books from the library, but may only read one.. And continue to recheck the same one out until i read them all…
-I have an interest in someone in my church, but i'm afraid to make in known because i don't want it to be ackward if it doesn't work out..
*I'm having this big Fear of showing my gifts that God has given me because i don't really like attention..And the Spirit is moving in me so heavy I'm about to Pop…
–
Anne Jackson wrote 'Permission to Speak Freely' and it brought me to tears because there are so many things that I cannot say in church, so many things that would reveal how broken I am and so many things that would contradict the put together staff member image I'm encouraged to project by the senior pastor. In the shelter of the internet, I can say that I am lonely. I can say that when I get lonely and crave love I find myself in cybersex chat rooms, talking to men who are probably a lot older than they claim. I find myself masturbating. And almost every time I stop as soon as it starts to feel good because I know this shouldn't feel good. I know it is wrong.
But I go back. Again and again. I return to this place where the gap in my heart feels too wide and I scramble to fill it with something… anything… that makes me feel valued, even if it is only as a purely sexual being. Truthfully, I know I am chasing that illusive feeling of beauty. I want to be beautiful. In that pursuit I end up cheapening whatever beauty God did bless me with.
Lonely and ugly is how I feel in these moments.
Yet for years I thought that if someone was on staff at a church they would have everything together. The guilt increases with that thought. Perhaps I am not good enough?
Grace, God says. My grace is enough. But these nights like tonight it is hard to believe that scum like me could be loved by anyone, let alone the Holy One. It is these nights when I long for support and find none because it is so hard to reach out with the weight of shame.
Why would I tell you this? Because I needed to say it. It needs to become real words and not abstract thoughts and then maybe I can deal with it.
Oh, Honey. You are so brave and great. <3
Thank you for writing this, I am thankful I stummbled upon it completely by accident because now I know I am not the only one whose going through things like that.
Reading both of your posts are truly beautiful. My heart, thoughts, and prayers are with you… since yesterday!
Haha I love this Bianca! You're so funny!
Ok here goes nothin'
– I get so upset when my hubby snacks before or after dinner, but the truth is, when I get home (which is 3 hours earlier than him) I gorge myself in pita chips and spinach dip. Almost to the point where I'm not hungry for dinner anymore.
– My Maid of Honor was the worst maid of honor (MIA, neglectful, selfsh). I have pretend conversations where I blow up at her and end our friendship for good.
– My passion for teaching is fading. I blame it on the budget cuts.
-My passion for food is growing. I want to go to Culinary Arts School even though I have no idea what the job market is like.
Whew… I could probably go on and on… that was quite refreshing!
Wow. I was actually thinking today about a few friends that I've had that really wanted to go to culinary school, but their parents convinced them to do something more "traditional." As a result, those friends are floundering and have started and dropped out of several programs because they don't like anything they're trying to do.
I think you should go for it!
I put mine on my blog! Thanks for giving me something to write about today.
I confess that for the first time in my life I had a crystal clear conversation with God a few months ago. I was told exactly what I was here to do, shown where to look to find my own problems manifested in the world around me, and how there is proof all around us that everything will be ok. I have been slow to act out of doubt and fear. I think that is wrong. Probably one of the most profound moments in my life.
I hate to confess these things…but maybe it will bring some relief…
I am selfish
I can be lazy
I want an expensive car
I think about dying alot
I am having an affair…
Do you have someone in your life you can talk to about your affair, like an older lady or minister? That's deep stuff, yo.
I wish the best for you. 🙂
Destiny, please don't run from this. Thank you for sharing. Please check your email soon…
B-
First, I actually truly know someone who didn't know she was pregnant until she had her baby full-term. It was the wildest, craziest thing you have ever heard. I actually told my sister "she looks prego" and then bam a few months later sis calls me and goes "you. will. never. guess. what. just. happened" True story.
Confession: I am WAY judgmental when I think people aren't doing their part in their own life. Examples:
-I am overweight. although I have lost a litlte (I still have 50 lbs to go… but, I digress….) Anyway…. anytime I see a wedding show (or wedding pictures on facebook, etc) and the bride is REALLY REALLY huge I get mad. I'm like, REALLY??! You couldn't lose weight for your wedding?? The most special (not to mention most photographed) day of your life and you didn't think enough of it to try and loss just a LITTLE bit?!?! Then i get mad because atleast THEY found someone willing to love them, be with them, sleep with them, etc.
-Likewise, I get mad when overweight people who never do anything to make them selves look nice and just stay in their house all day watching tv- COMPLAIN about being alone and dare ask "why am i single?". don't get me wrong, like I said, Im big, I'm single. the difference is I don't ask why. BECAUSE I KNOW. i KNOW if I weighed 50 pounds less (which would give me more confidence, which would make me be more outgoing) that I could attract a guy. i KNOW it. i hate when girls who look horrible bc they don't try talk total crap about guys and call them dogs simply because they're not attracted to them. Don't blame a guy for not wanting to date you if you're ick.
I'm NOT saying be perfect. Im NOT saying you have to be a 10. Just try. SWEATPANTS ARE NOT CUTE ALL THE TIME! wear your hair down… make yourself look nice, smile more, etc.
Damn, that went from a confession to a rant. I'm sorry. =)
You can totally delete this, B.
I guess it wouldn't hurt to share a few…not great things to admit…
– Even though everyone I know would describe me as super outgoing and friendly sometimes I wish I cared less about what people would think if I just took more "me time" and was a little more introverted…. because I desperately need it sometimes…! Putting on that "show" all the time can be exhausting!
– I am planning on having artificial insemination in the future and becoming a single parent by choice and I get really upset when my friends who are married and can do it the "natural" way seem to take it for granted.
– I constantly self – sabotage if I am succeeding at something because of my great fears of both success and failure.
– I am terrified of the future!
-God has given me so many wonderful gifts and I am too scared of failure to truly embrace any of them.
-I feel more in control of my life when I am super controlling of my food intake…. or lack there of.
-I will never get married because I do not trust men… (hence the need to become a single parent the hard way)
-Each time I open up to people about the bad experiences of my past I get physically ill thinking that they are going to reject me…. no one ever has…
– I am getting help in therapy for all of the previous issues I have listed… I wish I could learn once again to lean more on my faith to fix them…
– I have TONS of wonderfully close friends who always make me a huge part of their lives, but I often times feel completely alone.
-I wish the world was less judgmental…. especially so many Christians I know who espouse non-judgement…
that i found out a friend of mine did had an abortion and I stop talking to her. I know I should not do it but I feel like I don't want to be part of her life anymore.
love covers a multitude of sins… I believe (read in a devo this morning) that even though we stop walking with God, he continues to walk with us… seeking reconciliation.. His words says, “come let us reason together”… pray for your friend, I will join you in prayer
Love your blog!
1. I know my driving is terrible – but i refuse to admit that to anyone! Instead i drive really fast and explain to all those brave enough to drive with me, that even though my driving is risky and dangerous, "I know how to take calculated risks" =)
2. After brushing my teeth at night, I sneak a piece of chocolate while lying in bed and try to convince my self that its okay because by the time they do fall out some scientist would have come up with a pill to make them grow back over night. So now i have two blocks of chocolate after brushing my teeth at night.
3. By giving blood every month and other activities, I try to convince my self that it okay that i cursed at my lecturer last week, or that i told a white lie yesterday, because i am making up for it now.
4. I wish I was smarter, prettier, taller.
5. I should be studying now… =)
I confess I had a dream with you and Jasmine eating lunch at a posh restaurant and I crashed your little sister date. Then Jasmine started shooting a bridal shower party at that restaurant and it became a workshop for me and me alone. You sat back and helped with make-up and hair. I read your guys' blogs WAY too much. lol:)
-I cried while finishing Little Women last night (a book I've read many, many times), because I felt I related SO well with Jo. Ummm. I'm going to blame that weird emotional outburst on hormones. 🙂
-I LOVE Jesus, but usually I'd rather read a book than The Book.
-My hear, left to its own faithless devices, fears that no one will ever fall in love with me.
-When I work from home I'm usually working from my bed in nothing but a towel, and I'm simultaneously praising God that I never have to use video conferencing. 🙂
So many…going to write them down just like you and allow God to help me make sense of where the changes need to be applied! 😀 You are sooo good cause I can't share mine just yet…funny about the crying thing…I am pregnant…and when I argue my fault or not..I cries..it's the hormones..so maybe you are pregnant?! That would be an amazing Blessing. Much Love!!! 😀
Hahahaha! No, I"m not pregnant. Promise!
1. I sing to myself in my car, but I pause when I am in traffic so the cars next to me wont notice…
2. If I have no sweets in my house, Ill make frosting from butter, cocoa, and sugar, and eat it by the spoonful.
3. I tell all my friends I run two miles every day, but I really walk them instead…
4. I watch movies with my niece and nephew partly because I love them, and partly because I LOVE kids movies.
5. I have conversations with myself when I walk. Sometimes I have pretend arguments with someone I dont like.
6. I stole some of my nephews Halloween candy too…but only the good stuff. Almond joy, reeses, milky ways… I am a horrible Aunt.
1. The only reason I've stayed at law school this long is because I'm too in debt to quit now. Ugh. Fortunately, it means that spending some extra money on clothes doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. What's a couple hundred dollars compared to $30,000?!
2. I miss DMing Bianca on twitter.
3. My bff isn't very likable anymore.
4. I want a baby.
5. I'm afraid that no one will ever want to marry me.
6. I'm afraid that I'll get married and won't really love the guy.
7. I'M EATING TOO MANY JOLLY RANCHERS BUT THEY'RE SO GOOD.
8. Sometimes I think my favorite TV characters are real people.
9. I want to peace out and go live on the beach.
10. Sometimes I think of completely dropping my life and my identity and going somewhere random and never talking to anyone from my past again.
11. I think about suicide almost daily. I sometimes have visions of it.
12. Because of #11, I'm afraid God totally can't love me.
13. I'm angry. All the time.
14. People don't like me, and I don't know why. Well, probably because of #13.
15. I wonder if vampires are real and I'd kind of like to be one. Not the Twilight kind.
16. I play a crapton of Facebook games. I am ashamed.
17. I have a blankie and I can't fall asleep without it. I misplaced it for two weeks over Christmas and prayed for it to reappear. It did, and I cried.
18. I think my pastor's family are some of the worst people that have ever lived.
19. I can point out people's problems and how they could easily solve them by just changing their mindset or a few actions…but have NO ability to do it on myself.
20. He's been married for almost 9 months, and it still hurts.
Clearly I need more people to talk to in real life 😉
21. Most importantly: I love you, B!
Here it goes…
1. I dated my husband for 8 years and we’ve been married for 3 months. I don’t like his mother because she is a rude, selfish, mean spirited woman who secretly tells his sister that I’m not good enough for him and she feels I stole him away. But when she sees me, she says she loves me and i’m awesome. I have yet to muster courage to confront her for sake of my husband’s feelings.
2. I lead praise & worship at church and I love it… But I don’t love half of the congregation who stand there twiddling their thumbs so sometimes I pretend i’m the only one in the building.
3. I want to be an actress… Strictly for fame and fortune.
4. When people leave the church for emotional reasons and no explainations and talk crap, but still have friendships with the ones who still attend, i think it’s disgustingly cowardly and I pray they just “poof! Be gone!”… Eh.
5. I bite my toenails… Lol.
that is disgusting. theres no way around it, it just is.
Sick.
This is my first time here and this post is so great…thanks for the laugh. And how right Augustine was…I've never heard that. One of my favorite things to say is that there is power in confession. It just sucks the life out of shame and condemnation. One of my confessions would be that when I'm alone I talk to myself and sing in wierd voices just to keep myself entertained while I'm doing what I do. I might have to try this on my blog and see if I can some responses from friends.
sometimes i spend time reading your blog BEFORE i read my Bible.
like right now.
so i'm getting off this dern computer and going to read my Bible.
there.
– I love eating icing straight out of the container
– I drink milk from the jug…. in front of my kids
– I love to give away money, but have done so to the detriment of my family at times
– I don't think I've ever finished a thing in my life. I love to start things, but I just don't have an ounce of "follow through" in me
– If I throw gum out the window of the car (*GASP*) I'm always a little worried that there will be a murder nearby and CSI will find my DNA on the gum and accuse me of murder.
– I love the smell of markers, rubber cement, and paint. Yeah, I'm the reason there's a warning label…
sometimes im wrong but pretend like im right, i dont like being corrected by God, there are things i like because i'm supposed to but dont really. and i have trouble being honest about who i am in the core at times.
I'm afraid of getting married and having a family one day.. I don't want to give birth or be with kids all day or live with the same person the rest of my life.. when i have been blessed with wonderful parents and siblings.. I'm so selfish!
I'm also afraid of getting married because I feel like my husband will eventually cheat on me.. Although I'm surrounded by loving people, and (as far as i know! but very sure) my parents are faithful to one another, I feel like infidelity is inevitable. And then I worry that one day I'll cheat on my husband, and that terrifies me as well.
And the biggest part of this confession is I want to get married because I want to have sex..
I feel dirty saying it but it's true, I wish I could go farther and farther with my boyfriend and I imagine it a lot, and I know that thinking about something- having the desire- is just as bad as doing it. So then, instead of feeling guilty, I think that I might as well say goodbye to my purity because it's already gone, right?
but then, I feel guilty. I'm just afraid I won't be able to surrender that part of my life to God…
Thank you for posting this, It’s just what I was browsing on bing. I’d very much rather hear opinions from an individual, rather than a corporate web page, that’s why I like blogs so much. Thanks!. you’ve gotten an ideal blog right here! would you prefer to make some invite posts on my blog? great fantastic fantastic.