It was her voice. Breathy and seductive, but trying… trying too hard. The coquettish laugh and flirtatious intonation conjured an image in my head of what the woman standing behind me looked like. Her conversation made me ill and I teetered on the verge of an instantaneous FleshFlash in terminal 2 of Oakland International Airport.
The security line wrapped in continuous S formations in what seemed to be the longest identification checkpoint I’ve ever stood in. As serendipitous sovereignty would have it, I am in front of a women engaged in an adulterous affair with a married man. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, I just had no where to go.
Her breathy voice and gait changed while I was having an internal monologue with myself, debating whether or not to turn around and body-check her MMA style for pilfering from an object that wasn’t hers.
Her laugh changed. Her breathy voice became vulnerable. And before I could be Judgy McJudgerson and throw stones at this woman, I heard it. I heard desperation in her voice.
But you said you would leave her. You promised me, she said into her cell phone. The conversation continued intensely until I heard a male voice yell through the phone obscenities I will not repeat. The anger I felt subsided as I heard the silence of the breathy woman stop breathing. In the oddest turn of events, the woman who was demeaned and belittled and cursed at apologized to the man on the other end of the phone.
I had to do it. I had to turn around. I had to see with this woman looked like. I had to.
I peered over my shoulder to see a buxom blond, middle-age woman with a low cut shirt and sparkly purse hang her head in broken pain. And shame. And isolation. And I felt sympathy for her in the way Jesus felt sympathy for the woman caught in the act of adultery.
Before reaching the agents at the airport security check point, she explained that she didn’t want to make him angry and she would call him back after going through security. I told myself not to say anything, this wasn’t my business, I can’t care. But I had to do it. I had to turn around. I had to let this woman know who she was. I felt impressed to remind her that she was a child of God.
Me: You don’t know who I am, but I just really need to tell you that you are a child of God and you don’t deserve this.
Her: Wha—
Me: I’m not trying to be all up in your business or judge this situation. I just heard how you were spoken to and the names he called you. I need to tell you that you are a child of God and no one—NO ONE—should ever speak to you like that.
Her: Oh my god, I just don’t know what to do.
Me: Yes you do. Child of God, you know what to do. You don’t call this fool back! You delete his phone number and you find that woman inside of you who is strong and bold and worth more than his sloppy seconds. Listen, if he treats his wife like he treats you, he’s a jerk. You are worth more than that. Do you hear me? Child of God, you are worth more than that.
Her: I know, I know. I just wish I had the chip that’s inside your head and put it in mine so I can be strong.
Me: You can do it. God can help you. Jesus loves you. Even though what you are doing is wrong, he wants to help you.
When we forget our identity, we loose sight of who’s we are. When we don’t know where we came from, we don’t know where we’re going. And sometimes, a reminder of who we are is stronger than a rebuke of what we are not.
This is why I love your blog. 1) that you’re honest, and upfront, and real about the fact that you started out judging her. But mostly because this woman needed someone, needed strength, needed to be told she was better, needed to believe it. And I’m sure she never would have imagined that would come from a stranger.
And I hope it helped her – not just so she can stop doing what’s wrong, but so she can be herself, and be proud of herself, and be strong.
“And sometimes, a reminder of who we are is stronger than a rebuke of what we are not.” <–AMEN!
b – i was waiting for this post after i saw your status update about it. this was beautiful and your approach was soft and full of truth. i’m not sure how i would have even formulated my first sentence but you did it without judgement and with sincere love. god is clearly on a mission with you honey! 🙂 xx
Wow. Thank you for speaking truth to that woman. We may never know how God uses that, but I am pretty sure that she will never forget that moment with you.
Wow, I love the last sentence of this post: mind-boggling!
I love you. That is all.
Wow B- not sure I’d be brave enough to speak up because it’s easier not to, but being out doing the Lords business doesn’t stop at the airport, your always on the “clock”. Praise God, she heard truth, I’m going to pray that the seed would be watered!
Your my hero 🙂
I read your tweet about this a few days ago & am so amazed at how the Spirit was CLEARLY telling you to love on this woman. As someone who has been where she is, I wish I’d had a strong Christian woman help me snap the heck out of it. I’m so thankful for women like you, for your boldness, for your loving, yet firm response. I pray that woman was changed by your (by God’s) words & that she has kicked that sucker to the curb! You’re awesome Bianca!!
This post honestly had me in tears. I’m so glad you said something to her. The message is definitely one I’ve been struggling with lately as I’ve been letting my ex come in and out of my life and realizing that I’m not valuing myself like I should. Thank you so much for the reminder <3
Child of God, you are worth more than that. Don’t forget it. XO
I think you are amazing Bianca. Well done and I hope that the woman will do the right thing for herself. Keep shining His love B!
LOVE that last sentence Bianca. A rebuke spoken in love should remind WHOSE we are and where our strength comes from. Well said!
This was amazing to read…I read it twice. My dad had an affair and I would hope that would have reacted to this “other woman” the same way you did. Not only that, but there could have been others that heard this too, and it was a reminder to them of God’s love, grace and mercy. Thank you for sharing this. I needed it.
you go girl. 😉
Bianca, this is beautiful. Your courage to love this woman is a treasure! I forget often that we all are children of God and that is a beautiful identity. Thank you for sharing this!
I’m concerned. You say you’re a Christian but you didn’t tell her the truth. You didn’t tell her she was a sinner. She was ruining a marriage!!! She was wrong.
You say you love people, but if you loved them you would tell them they are going to Hell. Period the end.
Why do you tell people Jesus loves them but don’t tell them they are going to Hell?
Dear Concerned,
What did Jesus say to the woman caught in adultery? Did He tell her she would go to Hell? What did He say to the woman at the well who had been married several times and was with a man she wasn’t married to? Did he speak fire and brimstone or did He tell them of a better way?
I say this from the point of view of the wife whose husband has left her for another. I know the pain. Pain is not a strong enough word for what I felt, but I also know something else. I know we are a broken people and that Jesus came to save and seek the lost. I know He came to show us who we really are. If my husband really would’ve known who He is, then I don’t think we’d be apart. If the woman he’s with knew her worth, she wouldn’t be in the place she is now. Shoot, if I would’ve even had a small clue of how precious and amazing I am to the Father, I wouldn’t have been in that situation either.
I say this, not to debate with you, but to ask: If we are to go and follow in the footsteps of Jesus loving the people around us, how is what my friend Bianca did contrary to love?
Wow, this is cool!
Bianca,
So encouraged by your obedience in that moment to be Jesus in the flesh to this woman. Praying that she will continue to look back on that conversation as a turning point for her.
Really makes me think about the moments that God places in my path daily and really looking for those times to be the reflection of Jesus that someone needs.
It took me forever to figure out that I was more than the names I had made for myself. After years of thinking I wasn’t worth shooting for my dreams I finally believe that God has created me for these incredible dreams I have. And I can never hear that reminder too often. Thanks.
This moved my heart in a way that I can’t begin to explain. Thank you for your kindness, but more importantly thank you for bringing glory to the King through your obedient, submitted heart. It challenged me and encouraged me that there is an entire army of fellow princes and princesses out there ready to change the world through their love, and I get to be a part of that combat plan 🙂
You are truly wise beyond your years…………..the Lord has found an awesome vessel in you that He continues to pour out His love and wisdom through…………keep doing what He desires for your life mija…………love you!
Ahhh! I wrote about this a few days ago. Well.. not meeting a woman who was having an affair and telling her Jesus loves her (that was awesome btw!), but about how we are all children of God and when we lose that identity, we can get soo lost. Loved reading this! God bless you! 🙂
Wow. In tears Bianca..I wish I had your courage..the married woman in me would have raged and I think I would have walked away and said nothing..but you..you are a Blessing…to everyone. Thank You for this..because you too are a Child of God with such an amazing gift and talent!!! 🙂 Huge hugs!! 😀
B!! Love this… Thanks for sharing!! Glory to our King 🙂 you always bring a smile… & hope… Tons of other inspiring things… Blessings to you sweet sister;)
Hugs
E
Powerful! Thank you thank you thank you for sharing!
b, this was such a good way to start my day. a reminder that we are all children of God and a reminder to put down my stones of judgment. thank you so very much for sharing your life with us!
Powerful!!! xo,dana
So love this…wow, Jesus spoke through you so clearly…He is so loving, so good, so beautiful!
I love it, It reminds me of the first person who ever pointed me to Jesus. It is life changing NO doubt. It just takes one person to STAND in the name of JESUS. When I think of my friend that showed up that day- There is this gratefulness I cant explain. I only pray to have the same courage my friend had and yourself with the boldness for Christ as he leads us to STAND:) Thank you for sharing-:)))
Wow!!!! The Holy Spirit filled you sister and used you to breath and speak LIFE to her! Wow, ah those divine appointments excite me so much! Praise God for the courage you exercised and the truth you spoke in love!! Wow!
oh man. i have tears in my eyes. thank you for showing her grace in that situation, for telling her the truth and making her think twice about her worth. i am praying for that kind of compassion when dealing with sinners in the midst of their sin.
This is absolutely awesome!!! What a great example of being the ambassador that we’ve been called to be!
This is so beautiful. Thanks for posting!
Hey Brittney! Can’t wait to see you soon 🙂
oh my Jesus. YEEESSSSSS!!!!!