Dear Beyoncé,
This letter is probably the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write to you. Okay, it’s the only letter I’ve written to you, but hear me out. Since your days in Destiny’s Child, I’ve been your Bug-a-Boo and remained a Survivor. As a Single Lady, your friendship was the Best Thing I Never Had. As I became Crazy in Love I became a Diva, but still wore a Halo. [Have I proven my affinity yet?] Yes, I’ve been a fan.
But I’ve got to KIR… yes, keep it real. When your Mrs. Carter Show World Tour kicked off last week, I was excited to read reviews and see the amazing outfits your styling team came up with. However, I was completely grieved. F’real.
Your anthemic songs of empowerment motivate my generation of women and those who are on our heels. However, as examples to those who will stand on our shoulders, the picture of feminine success cannot and should not be built on the premise or expectation to sexualize ourselves in order to receive notoriety.
You’re talented. You’re gorgeous. You’re smart. You could’ve gone on stage in a potato sack and the next day women of New York city would be wearing haute couture sacks and stilettos. You know it’s true! So why? Why did you feel the need to wear a sheer bodysuit with your nipples exposed?
Listen, we’ve both changed. Since we first met, we’ve graduated into a different stage of life. We are both married, both mothers, both work full-time jobs. Life is beautifully chaotic and we are daily faced with choices that will impact more than ourselves: it will impact the generation on our heels who want to wear our heels.
Your choice of attire was an affront to my sensibility. Yes, your outfit and styling choices can be seen in Amsterdam windows, brothels, strip clubs, and red light districts from Cape Town to Cambodia. In window panes and on stages, women are sold for sex wearing clothing you are dancing freely in. Women who don’t have the power you have; to wiggle and wave, but walk away from from the groping hands and forced situations. Girls with dreams and aspirations and feelings and desires who are sisters, mothers, daughters, and dreamers, are nothing more than objects of purchasable desire.
As long as women feed the myth that women must make themselves sexually available to obtain success, we will perpetuate the problem and your daughter Blue and my daughter Ryen will believe that T&A will get them a J-O-B.
We have the power to reclaim a true message of worth and value and it’s not in our bra cup size or level of flexibility, but in an understanding of who we are and the plan and purpose for our lives. If we believe that female success can be obtained without undressing, we must lead the charge and live this out.
Like Rahki Kumar said, “Call out those who deliberately allow their sexual identity to eclipse the genius of their spirit and sacredness of their soul. Tell young girls that they are more than that. Engage with artists who sing, dance, write, design, perform – but whose presentation centers on showcasing the brilliance of their brain, not their body.”
As I stare at your outfit, I’m reminded of the American phrase, All that glitters is not gold. I hope our brilliance isn’t in our attire, but in our internal belief that we are more than our waist size, bra size, and butt size.
In no way am I throwing stones, but I am calling you on the carpet like a friend should do. Like Solomon said, better are the wounds of a friend, than many kisses from your stylists [that’s the paraphrased BIV version].
Forever your friend,
B
For those who would love to hear a new message on fashion, style, and how to werk it on a runway, I’m inviting you to a fashion show on Saturday, May 18th, 2013 in Los Angeles. My mother is fabulous and has planned this extravaganza for women of all shapes and sizes. Check it out:
For more information and how to get tickets, visit the church website and get ready to party!
Girl, can you hear me clapping for you from Colorado? Bravo.
Thanks Kristen! Much love 😉
Agreed and agreed. Well written.
thank you!!!!! <3
Your open letter so eloquently echos what I’ve tried to teach my three daughters who are now young adult women. Thank you for that, and I pray your message reaches far and wide. Also, coming from the other side of this issue – as in from a man’s perspective – I find it sad and personally offensive when society and even such incredibly talented artists like Beyonce blatantly assume that this is what we (men) want. NO. I want to appreciate talent for what it is. I want to enjoy music (or movies, or art, or…) without having to deal with the sight of some strange woman’s nipples or butt shaking in my face. The only alternative for me is to simply avoid these artists altogether. I don’t want or need what they have to offer… My gracious and loving God has given me a beautiful and loving wife who I thoroughly enjoy seeing as much of as possible – just the way God intended.
I’m SO grateful for the male perspective to weigh in. And thank you for being a man that values women. Rock on, Brian!
Thank you for sharing this! Love your blog
Love it-
Can’t wait to share this with my daughters! XO
Why were you surprised? Did you not see her SB half-time show where she pole-danced and thrusted and basically looked like a girl down at the strip-club? And her husband, HER HUSBAND, was the one producing? Not only is this harmful to our daughters, but our sons as well, because their battle to keep their minds where they belong are being impacted. I pray that the children we raise can keep their eyes from such things and fix them on the things Jesus wants them fixed on.
Well put! Way to go!
Hi Bianca, This was written with passion and it inspires women to keep each other accountable. Personally, I’ve been out of the pop loop. But within the last few months Beyonce is someone who has been highly recognized in the media spot light as being inspired by demon possession. (Sasha Fierce)You probably already know that, since she’s one of your favorite Divas. My heart has truly gone out to her and I desire to pray for her and her little daughter. When someone is inspired by Demonic forces (let’s be truthful) they are irrational and therefore the only thing we can do is warn our girls about the forces behind the person that God so beautifully created. There are many other talented artists out there that are plunged into the devils arena, playground, (or whatever you wanna call it, ) and the desire for fame, power and wealth pull them in. And what happens? Their soul is slowly stripped away. Then the devils plan is to chew them up and spit them out for the trampling. I personally love all music, and soul music is especially my favorite. But the sad truth is that these very talented singers/performers have a talent that can be used for good, or evil. It’s true, and your right, someone needs to share with our girls of all shapes and sizes about how we portray ourselves. Beyonce is worth the blood of Jesus and nothing is impossible for Him. Aside from that, I pray that the conference that your mom is putting on bring many and sheds light on their souls. I pray that they are inspired to keep their beauty that comes from within. Have you seen that Dove commercial? When I think of beauty I think of all the different types of people that are out there in the world. I see tall, short, big, skinny, brown, yellow, black, white, long noses, short pug noses, flat noses, short hair, curly, etc. and sometimes instead of trippin over a super model citizen, I purposely try to spot all the ordinary folk that I can identify with and I examine how they just live life the way Hod created them. Some of the most fun, amazing people I have ever been around are not popular, super model citizens. They are the people with big laughs and funny characters. I hope and pray that we canola beyond the empty faces on the screen that ultimately tear down our girls self esteem.
such a great post. It’s tragic when artists have such great potential and sell themselves short by over sexualizing everything that they do. We have all heard the term “sex sells” but if you are already selling, like beyonce, why turn to that avenue? Why not show people that you can be a successful woman without showing off your goodies to the world. It breaks my heart because it has completely consumed pop culture. I am a youth pastor and feel like it is a constant struggle with the young girls to let them know you don’t have to dress “frumpy” to be “modest” and you can be “stylish” without being “trashy” (for lack of a better word).
Grrrrreat blog!!!! Amen sista!
Holla! Amen sister! I could not agree more.
Thank you, thank you thank you!!!!! I work at a high school and and see this on a daily basis!! These young girls see absolutely nothing wrong with their way of dressing. I try to pull young girls aside and talk to them about their wardrobe or “lack of”. It’s a shame that young girls look up to these celebrities and think this is appropriate attire.
This is nothing more than a self-righteous Puritan futzing about, wondering why pop culture isn’t thoroughly consistent with her view of sexuality.
If Beyonce wants to wear a suit that exposes her nipples, then she damn well has that right, and suggesting that this ‘disempowers women’ is nothing more than a fright phrase.
I was not going to sign this until an egocentric male by the name of Christopher Berman decided to rant on that nothing was wrong with this picture, and how wrong i was for having an opinion in the matter. Cheers in your efforts ladies
Christopher, can I suggest you have an honest conversation with some of the women in your life, in a safe non-judgemental environment, about how they feel about this being the standard they are held up against? You may be surprised to find the majority of them will agree with the sentiments expressed in this post and the resulting comments.
And, while I agree that Beyonce has the right to wear whatever she wants, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a conversation regarding the results of a public figure portraying such a sexual image. Bianca teaches and preaches the messages of the Bible – she is just looking at it from that perspective so that there is a Biblical voice in the conversation. There is no self-righteousness or “fright tactics” about it. For young women struggling with their identity as followers of Christ and their relevance in modern culture, voices like Bianca’s are needed to encourage them and show them they are not alone in their struggles
Thank you Bianca! God has blessed you with loving, honest words for a dear friend and I am sure they resonate with many, many women (and men as well, thank you Brian for your encouraging, supportive words). I will be sharing your post on every avenue I can connect with, and I hope you will allow me to share your post on my soon to debut blog page. (I am a novice blogger and hope to display my welcome page this weekend, God willing.)
Great post. Thanks for using your voice to speak up for the voiceless. You are admired for it.
Bianca this is wonderful. Thank you for these words.
All that may be missing from her costume she performs in – or lack therof – would be some ink. Just like one of the guys…except hers would read “Father”. Your disappointment is in what (little) she performs in. I’m tired of seeing the ever-growing number of other-wise attractive girls (women?) with tattoos. I hear that laser removal is almost as much “fun” as having the “art form” applied in the first place. If I go to a concert, I look forward to hearing the voice, not seeing what will be falling out of whatever outfit they’ve got glued to their body..
How can you be suprised that someone from the World is displaying themselevs in a sexual manner? Have you ever read in the Bible where it says that we are not to judge those outside the Church but rather those inside the Church. Beyonce and Her husband are as Worldly as two people can get and expecting them to live up to biblical principles is laughable at best.
1 corinthians 5:12-“For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? “
Just thought I’d throw this out there…she’s not actually exposing herself. The body suit isn’t see through, the “nipples” and even the shape of the “breasts” are actually just crystals.
:Slow Clap:
I really hope B can read this message from another B! This is awesome Bianca..wooooord!!
Love from Finland!
I am so glad that I stumbled upon your open letter to Beyonce. I had googled how to write to her and that is how I found your site. The other evening, I came upon the sight called AMTV, which belongs to a fellow called Christopher Green. Some of his topics are interesting and I take it all with a grain of salt….UNTIL…he spoke of Beyonce’s song called “Partition.” He said that President Obama had said that Beyonce was a great role model for his two girls. Mr. Green spoke of the songs sexually explicit lyrics along with the dancing in the video. So, I decided to have a look……well, I was stunned and sickened! She, referring to herself as “yonce” in the video and is in the back of a limo with a man, on their way to some big do. She decided or the man decided that they wanted to have sex in the back of the limo and “yonce” asks the driver to lower the partition please, and then sings some of the most disgusting sexually explicit words to describe what was happening from start to finish – words and phrases about how “ho……..ny” the man was, and how she was going to get “f……..ked, then before the “Chorus” she said that he or she, can’t remember had “monica lewinskied him/her. . What really bothered me was the chorus, I guess you would call it the chorus. “Yonye” now sings about how she wants this guy to like/love her and that is why she is ” doing him in the back” of the limo, to make him love her. So pathetic. I lost my father when I was 4 years old and forever after that I would do the same type of things to get some guy to like me. pay attention to me. The actual video portion is nothing but “yonce” wearing barely there costumes. with several changes into other barely there costumes. She may as well have been naked, posing sexually, bumping and grinding. I glanced down at the comments section and saw a comment saying “”I love this song” and there was a picture posted – the kid looked about 14. I saw she and her hubby’s performance at this years (2014) Grammy’s. I DO NOT understand why people went wild and gave them standing ovations, and these people are their peers! Thank you for having this place where I could comment.