As a child I thought I could take over the world. I was so adamant it was possible, I recorded myself on cassette tapes reporting the news like Connie Chung and boldly confirmed that drug trafficking and gang wars have come to a glorious end, hungry children were fed, and homeless people finally had homes. I sounded like a prepubescent politician more than a journalist, but it was my news show and I had the power to push record.
But one day after pushing the stop button on my Casio cassette recorder, my dreams stopped as the red record button popped up. It all ended.
I listened to the voices around me and thought there was nothing I could do. I wasn’t able to change the world, to make a difference, to make things better. I was just a voice, in a room, with a Casio cassette recorder.
Photo by Diana Elizabeth Photography
As I recounted that memory to 1,000 Grand Canyon University students, I remembered the day I gave up believing I was able. Doubt slowly continued to creep into my college years where it manifested in disbelief that not only was I unable, but ultimately that God was unable. Unable to do, be, change. Unable to feel, hear, care. Unable to move, alter, manifest.
In moments of looking forward in doubts, we need to hit the pause button on Life’s Casio cassette player and look back. Look back at how He did, what He did, and why He did what He did. He heard, felt, and cared. He moved, altered, and healed. He was ABLE… even when we feel like He isn’t.
Faith is simply believing God is able to do what others deem impossible. The past victories in my life gave me the ability to hope. Hope has reinstated my ability to trust. Yes, trust God is able to use me, and us, to change the world.
Don’t hit the stop button on the soundtrack of Life. Pause and rewind to see what God has done. He is able.
“I am the Lord, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27
[If you’re in the Phoenix area tonight, we’ll be talking about part two of this talk. Not only is God able, He’s willing! 8:00pm on the GCU campus gym 🙂 ]
AMEN BB! 143
It was like I was preaching to myself! In spite of a broken heel, a snappy conversation with a man that I love, no printer (hence no notes), I knew God was able. And I knew it would be in SPITE of me.
I'm still praying for your job offer. Let me know how it goes…
We talked about this kind of in Sunday School this week.
That like in any relationship where trust is a basic need, it is that way with God too. When we doubt God, we damage our relationship. How can you have a relationship without trust? How can you have a relationship with God without faith?
Awesome Bianca! Hope it's going well!
I was encouraged by this post. It was timely for me. Thank you for sharing. xoxo
Bianca, thank you for this post. It has been an incredibly hard week. I am unemployed and have been trying to find a job for the past year, trying to start a wedding and portrait photography business on unemployment and juggle life's struggles with my newlywed husband. It has been a tough past four months especially. And, there are times like this past week that I keep losing faith. Wondering if I will get a job, be a photographer and be a good wife. But, when I pray, I know somewhere at some point it will all work out. If I continue to have faith. So thank you! You need to come to KC to speak! I would love to meet you in person one day!
so nice to remember that God can use us all…even me:)
I am writing this with a sincere and broken heart, so before anyone jumps down my throat, know that I am crushed right now. My mom just passed away from cancer. We were one of Bianca's post-it notes. And I know God was able, but He didn't heal. He didn't answer our prayers as we believed He would. In fact, just ten days after my mom died our family was just sued for $400,000 over a traffic accident that happened more than two years ago. My dad went in for quadruple bypass heart surgery weeks before my mom took her last breath. I literally feel like Job when our world around is us crashing down.
My heart still praises His name and I still give Him thanks – not just because I know that's what I'm supposed to do, but because I know that He is still worthy and that whatever happens here doesn't compare to eternity. Despite knowing that, I feel that, while God is able, He is unwilling.
Cont'd
Believing that I am loved and cherished by God enough to be protected from these horrible situations is not easy. I tell myself that I am loved by Him, but my heart still questions it. I know that the cross proves His love for me, but I ache so badly. My thirteen and fifteen year old sisters ache. My nineteen and twenty-two year old sisters ache. My thirty year old sister with Down syndrome aches.
No matter what else happens, He will still deserve our praise and we will still give it. Moments after my mom died, we all started offering thanksgiving to God in the hospital room, because He is worthy. Jeremiah 32 says that nothing is too hard for Him, but I look around and feel that in my life He isn't willing to act on our temporal situations. Of course, we shouldn't go by our feelings, but let's face it – it's hard.
NO ONE will jump down your throat. I will delete ANY comment that sounds remotely insensitive.
There are no words to assauge this pain. Nothing at all. So when words are weak, I'm praying to God who is strong. HE is the only one who can comfort you. HE is the only one to make good come out of bad.
I'm praying. Hard.
Melinda – I am deeply sorry for your loss and in no way do I pretend to know what you are going through. I love how you continue to praise Him though the outcome you were looking for was not the one you received. I know that the Lord honors this and though it is a valley of darkness right now…light will shine.
Healing was accomplished my dear…in heaven your mom is healed.
Melinda…praying for you sister! My night season doesn't compare to yours, but He will teach us to sing while in the wilderness. He will bring the morning to our night. It IS hard and even feels like an disappointed hope, but He will bring a morning to your night. He doesn't set us up to fail; that is what I keep reminding myself. And I know for a fact, because I've experienced it that in these really, really dark season of mine that this is when He will give you a special glimpse into Himself. It's indescribable but He will reveal Himself to you. It's hard, very hard and very lonely but keep following Him and give Him your doubt.
Isaiah 50:10
Jeremiah 29:11
Melinda,
Please know that we are presently praying for you. LIke Bianca said, Words are weak, but God is not and He will see you through this hardships. He sees, He hears, He listens, He cares and He is faithful; even when we're not. You have my word that my family will be in prayer for you and your family.
May the God of all comfort surround you with his mighty powerful arms and give you peace, rest, and comfort.
Norma Gurrola
(MM, i posted this response so you could see it.)
Thank you guys for your prayers and encouragement. xoxo
He is able! I love this…it is exactly what I needed to be reminded of today. Thank you!
Don't hit the stop button on your blog…I praise God and thank Him for the encouragement you give. 🙂
wow..your post just spoke volumes to me. if he was able to open doors for you to speak and teach and write, then i KNOW He will be able to open doors for me (a lil asian fob) to do the same. =] be blessed my friend! know that what you are doing is inspiring others as well as changing people's lives!
Melinda,
Please know that we are presently praying for you. LIke Bianca said, Words are weak, but God is not and He will see you through this hardships. He sees, He hears, He listens, He cares and He is faithful; even when we’re not. You have my word that my family will be in prayer for you and your family.
May the God of all comfort surround you with his mighty powerful arms and give you peace, rest, and comfort.
Norma Gurrola
I am so proud of you my friend!! I knew everything would turn out and that you would have an amazing story to tell us after. Praying for tonight. I hope we can hear the message. xxxxxxooooooo!!!
man that was good.
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So beautiful and true!! God IS able!!! Thanks for the reminder! Have a lovely day!
Girl did I need this! GOD IS ABLE!
This is truly beautiful.
Bianca,
Thank you so much for coming and speaking to our school last week:) You were truly a blessing. I know of several girls who agreed that we wish we knew you on a personal level because of what a great mentor you would be. Your story about your mom was something that I could kind of relate to, because my little brother battled cancer a few years ago as well. God was also gracious to our family and he is alive and healthy.
I really learned a lot from what you had to say, and the way you spoke about faith in David's life really helped me to understand faith better, and how to have more trust. I liked how you pointed out that David looked at all of the times that God had protected him, and been there for him, and that gave him the strength and ability to trust God for the unknown future. God used you to speak to me about something that I have been struggling with, and so I just wanted to say thank you:)
…..
I also wanted to say that I have never heard a woman speaker preach it like you did 😀 God has truly blessed you with the ability of public speaking. You spoke just as good as any man I have heard do a chapel or talk, but you did it in a beautiful feminine way. This was also an encouragement and a great example to see how it’s done. I hope that I can grow to be as passionate and bold about Christ.
-Jessie
Jessie! It was honor to share with y'all 🙂 I had a blast. Keep doing what God wants you to do. He is able 😉
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