It’s been said that time is what we want the most, but what we use the worst.
Though the sentiment is real, I refuse to believe this is how we have to live.
Life is cyclical. Like the children of Israel, we return to deserts, find new Promise Lands, have moments of captivity, and seek God for deliverance. Wash, rinse, repeat.
But what can we learn in the process? How can we grow? How can we take people on the journey with us and see transformation occur in the lives of those we love the most?
I’m discovering that I have a pattern; an evolution if you will. Every ten years or so there is a growth–a bourgeoning–deep within my soul and as I approached my birthday last week, I’m reflecting on how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. 
Ten years ago…
- I taught my first bible study to a group of teenage girls at a youth retreat in Lake Tahoe.
- I was living at home with my parents. [Don’t judge. Judging causes premature aging.]
- I was in the middle of graduate school on a full-ride scholarship thinking, How did I end up here?! And what am I doing with my life?!
- I was a lonely, single and best friends with Ben&Jerry [which was better than being best friends with Jose Cuervo and Johnny Walker].
- My mother had brain cancer and a 30% chance of living.
- I traveled with my father to Barcelona, Spain as he taught in churches and opened my eyes to the global Church.
- Determined to mobilize the young women in my church, I started a summer bible study for 150 women [however, I should note I was non-committal and afraid of failure, so it was only six-weeks long].
- I weighed ten pounds less.
As I look back at the past ten years, I see God’s invisible hand, I hear His silent call, I feel His presence in the darkness. The moments of fear were met with His faithfulness, the doubts met with dependence, the confusion was met with His clarity. This may sound like an After School Special [shout out to public television addressing stuff our parents didn’t want to talk about], but things ended up the way they were suppose to.
Today…
- I have the privilege of teaching men and women in colleges, churches, and communities about the power and truth of God’s word and work around the globe.
- I live in my own home.
- Graduate school is complete, but the learning hasn’t stopped.
- Thanks to eHarmony, I married the man I call my hero, my friend, and my husband.
- This past year, my mom was declared cancer-free for the seventh year.
- I now get to travel the world with the pioneering spirit of my father and help pour into churches around the globe.
- I have be rooted under Nick and Christine Caine for the last four and a half years freeing slaves, building the church, and empower women.
- Though I no longer teach the summer series, they have continued in spite of my absence and other women are leading in new ways. I love you, CCM!
- The ten pounds I have gained will one day disappear when I swear off carbohydrates. [But WHY would Jesus call Himself the BREAD of Life if he didn’t want us to eat carbs?!]
In reminiscing over the past, I’m reminded that time is short and demands are high. Don’t let time slip by waiting for opportunity to find you. Maybe you need to stop beating on a wall, hoping it turns into a door. Where is God leading you? Take a look at the past ten years of your life and see how far He’s brought you. He hasn’t let you out of His plans this far… it’s time to believe He won’t start now.
You missed a couple from your Today list:
– met awesome new people, particularly the English ones, specifically the ones not in London and possibly more in the Oxfordish area
– became ten times ten times (no that’s not a typo – how dare you) more beautiful
You are a good friend. And we met through this blog?! Small world, eh? 😉
Love! Praying the next ten are big and mightier than you can ever imagine 😉
I miss you. And I miss seeing you! God is good. Can’t wait to see your next spawn!
So yea…thank you so much for this post! At 25 I can relate to so many things of your “10 years ago” list haha
I currently live at home with my parents CHECK
I am not “single”, but I’m not married and my boyfriend lives (literally) across the country CHECK
I am in the process of applying to graduate school and most days I still don’t know for sure what I’m really even supposed to be “doing” with my life CHECK
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago and is now cancer free (hence why I moved back home) CHECK
And I’m fairly sure I weigh a few more pounds now than I did in college because carbs CHECK
I do have a question for you that has been bouncing around in my head that I can’t seem to wrangle…would love your perspective: How do you differentiate between the whole “beating on a wall, hoping it turns into a door” thing and pursuing opportunities actively/taking risks. I mean how do you find that balance between not running ahead of God with tunnel vision for what you think is best and also not being a “Christian Couch Potato” (<–disclaimer: I just made that up) and expecting God to just drop divinely ordained opportunities in your lap?
You walk through all the doors until the Lord shuts the door. Seriously, as a single woman you have the freedom to move into what He’s calling you to do. I’m praying for you and believe this is a season you will bourgeon and grow into the woman you want to be by 35. Party on, sister!
Happy belated birthday, Bianca!
How was it?
I hope you had a bright, beautiful and blessed celebration! 🙂
May God bless and keep you!
Love,
Alexis
*Jeremiah 29:11*
I loved it. Thanks for asking 🙂
Bianca,
The world has been blessed with your presence to help those who are in need in many different ways and spreading God’s word to the people. Very proud to see you have grown into the pgreat person you are today. Continue the great work.
Much love and respect.
Dre!!! You are too kind. Who knew there is where we’d be after all these years, right?
Whaaaat? YOU eat CARBS???? Hahaha, you look great, you have a great husband, great job, great kids, and a great knack for writing. The next 10 will be amazing, thanks for taking us with you on your journey!
Love you. And your new husband who I haven’t met. Name your daughter Bianca and your life will be blessed. The Lord told me.
Happy belated birthday, Bianca! I waited a few days so I could add that alliteration in there. I thought you’d appreciate that. Mine’s coming up in a couple months, so I think I may use your 10 years thing. I love it. You are a blessing!!
I’ve been following your blog for five years now and I am really blessed and encouraged by your life. I relate to being a PK and I dreamed of working for A21 since its inception and have followed your Bible studies over the years. I’m grateful that God has given you another year because you are truly a blessing. Happy belated birthday!
This is the first time I’ve read your blog and I’m really enjoying it; especially this post.. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the past 10 years of my life since I have my 10 year high school reunion coming up in June.
“Maybe you need to stop beating on a wall, hoping it turns into a door.” << Exactly! Taking a few steps out of my comfort zone has had such an impact on my life socially, professionally and spiritually. Also, I'm with you on the carb statement. 🙂
Bianca! Thank you so much for this post, girl! I am a 23 year old elementary school teacher who is about to start ministry school at Highlands College to pursue what He has been beckoning me to do for some time. I love seeing where you were 10 years ago because I can relate to that season. I feel like I am entering into a season of crazy, beautiful dependency on the Lord, which is so exciting yet so unknown. I also love how you talked about leading girls for the first time 10 years ago and seeing how those baby steps and your obedience has been so fruitful for the Kingdom. Thanks for being an inspiration to dreamers like me who hunger to make a difference for women!!! & Thanks for being the world changer that He created you to be 🙂 Keep shining sister!!!!
Thank you so much for sharing! Just who you are has inspired me so much! I’m a mexican leader, a forerunner and have a tremendous calling on my life. Just want you to know that you are prayer answered! … I been following you and commenting on your posts. I pray one day we will connect His perfect will be done! Blessings to you and yours!
Back at you! Can’t wait to meet in real life 🙂
Hi Bianca,
Happy Belated Birthday! I think I likely have 10 years on you but who’s counting?! Banging on walls is exhausting and not worth the effort. Much better to watch and wait for direction. The paths God gives us may not be easy but are most certainly worthwhile.
You have a beautiful website. Thank you for visiting mine!
Blessings,
Kenzel
Thank you for this post. Your honesty is refreshing!! I’ve never looked at seasons/cycles as being from God- but I’m so inspired to pray about that now in my own life. When I was in my young twenties, I went through medical school and grad school and a season of full time ministry. Now that I am 33 and in my career, I am asking Gid to dig up deep wells in me and give me dreams for the next decade. I am in uncharted waters and your blog post on this is so helpful. Thank you. If you could write a post on how to dream for the next part of life (how to move forward after you’ve checked off all your big goals) that would be awesome!! Blessings to you and your ministry!
Amazing! God is indeed great!!!! After reading your blog, I’m gonna sit down and reflect! Hugs bugs!
Bianca, I just wanted you to know how blessed I was by your book. To see how God has brought you through such difficult times and used those experiences to be His love to others. So many things were just what I needed to hear. I have been going through a dark time… my mom had surgery and several weeks later, we received the news that my father had stage 4 cancer. The past 6 months have been probably the hardest in my life, trying to hold on to hope for my father and for unfulfilled hopes and dreams. I have been single for over 15 years while I have watched my siblings marry and start families I continue to seek God’s will and waiting for God to answer my prayers as well. Thank you again for being real and sharing your heart, May God bless you and your ministry.
What an AMAZING testimony. Thank you for letting me know! I’m honored to know you 🙂 PS Praying for your mom!