Strategy. He’s all about strategy. From stats to demographics to ROI and R&D, he’s thought through everything.
He’s methodical and organized and asks questions revolving leveraging the assets we have to strengthen our future as an organization. Yes, Mr. X is a consultant I meet with regularly to discuss our visual communication at The A21 Campaign. After the logistics and implementation has been discussed, I conclude our meeting with the most important question in my mind: So, are you dating anyone yet?
He’s a great guy. Smart, talented, loves Jesus and has a full set of teeth (don’t roll your eyes, teeth are important!). And of course my MatchMakingMeter goes off the richter scale when I meet an eligible men who is single. I incessantly hear women say, Where have all the cowboys gone? [sung like Paula Cole circa 1995] and act like good men are as imaginative as TuPac Shakur.
He smiles sheepishly because we’ve discussed this before. Dating, women, church, the whole nine. But this time he opens up to reveal his new strategy. New strategy, I asked with piqued interest. Oh wow, I’m so excited to hear about it! He said,
My new strategy is just to meet someone at the market or coffee shop and hope she’s a Christian.
Oh Internet, you should’ve seen my face! A mixture of shock, horror, and disbelief caused my jaw to drop. The man who brilliantly analyzes and plans and forecasts is hoping he’ll stumble into a gorgeous woman who hopefully loves Jesus. And then I died. Twice.
But here’s the reality: he’s not the only one who thinks this. I don’t want to categorize all men because its 2013 and stereotypes are so 1985, but this is the mindset for many evangelical males.
Do you blame them?
In the past week I’ve connected with four men who are single, eligible, and regularly attend church. For clarity sake [and anonymity] I will refer to them as Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
- Matthew [38] is an educated, white-collar, divorcee with no kids who serves in ministry at his Pentecostal church.
- Mark [29] is a fun but conservative Christian who wants to be married, but is fearful of dating anyone at church.
- Luke [30] has attempted dating within his non-denominational church, but feels doing so has now marred him from dating again for fear of a scarlet letter.
- John [24] is hilarious and says he wants to get married, but based on his own admission, his Baptist friends advocate for predestination and believe she will appear in his path. [Oh Lawd help me.]
Here are some reasons:
- Reputations. Luke said it’s a no-win situation. He has been attending his church for five years and roughly pursued four girls [a few coffee dates, maybe a couple dinners]. All of a sudden he’s now that guy who preys on [not prays for] women. In the world’s eyes he’s a lazy dater, but at church he’s a player.
- Eliminations. Dating in church is like playing “Let’s Make A Deal,” said John. You can strike up a deal and accept it, but you’ve eliminated doors two and three. Apparently, if a guy goes out with one girl at church, it has eliminated him from ever dating her friends. [Oh my word, this is SO true! Its the carnal rule in caddy friendships: don’t date my ex.]
- Complications. Dating complicates things for men. Mark was engaged to a woman from his church, but they realized it wasn’t the best fit. Instead of the coming around and supporting their decision, their friends became her friends and left him to deal with disappointment alone. Matthew also said that serving in ministry puts you in a fishbowl: all eyes are watching. His concern is dating someone and discovering they aren’t The One will cause people to think his discernment and judgement is off.
- Pressure. Every men I spoke with stated this invisible layer of pressure they feel regarding dating women within their church. John joked, It’s like they become all P31* on me and try acting super holy. I just want a normal girl. Most men admitted to sensing when a girl was into them and felt pressure to either run away and not lead her on or awkwardly try to handle that relationship.
An interesting item to note is that though each man admitted to failing in pursuing women they were interested in, every one said they would want to do the pursuing. I’m not an archaic meat-head—joked John—but there is something thrilling about chasing a girl and having her reciprocate the feelings. If she’s too forward, it comes off as desperate. FYI ladies, we can all hear your biological clock.
hmm….i totally get the fear of guys dating within their own churches. all of those reasons are completely legit. however, do they ever date girls from other churches? i do feel for guys in a lot of ways – they have the pressure of opening themselves up to possible rejection; they have the pressure (from some girls) to fulfill every long lost fairy tale dream; and then, if they do marry, they have the enormous pressure of being the spiritual leader of their households, and frankly, i wouldn’t want that for a million dollars. i have great respect for godly men! thanks, Bianca for enlightening us on this…..i hadn’t looked at the situation from this point of view before. 🙂
Haha! Women are complicated (including myself).
This is a really great article. Thank you for doing the interviews and getting the perspectives from these guys!
I hear truth in everything they said. So sad.
Great post! In my city, it seems like men have forgotten how to simple talk to a girl and ask her out. It can’t just be my city, right? I’ve been struggling with the frustration of the whole idea that the man needs to be the one who’s forward. We just want to be talked to…just say hi and let’s see where this goes. On top of the whole approach issue, we as Christians women now have the added fear that these men aren’t Christians. And I have to agree that dating within your church is a sticky situation. Bottom line after all my very unclear thoughts, I would totally trust you as a matchmaker.
Lord, I know how these men feel! From a women’s perspective, it’s so hard to date in the world, let alone the church. I’ve dated three guys since becoming a Christian 7+ years ago. One wasn’t even remotely interested in faith and we stopped dating after a month. One guy was from a different church and he kept flip-flopping between wanting to date me and not wanting to date me because 1) we went to different churches and 2) he was unsure I was the one so why date me if I’m not? (How will you find out if someone is The One if you don’t date/court them?) The last guy I dated was from my church and he pursued me until we started dating and then I guess he just figured that because we were dating he didn’t have to? I’m not quite sure what happened there (we stopped dating after 3 months) but as soon as everyone knew we were dating I had women in my church tell me they had dreams about us dating (oy!) and I think they were planning our wedding for us.
It has pretty much put me on high alert about dating in my church again especially since there are only 3 or 4 other single men in my church. It isn’t to say that I wouldn’t date any of them but I’m the female version of John in your post, I don’t want to pursue the man. I want him to pursue me! If I’m interested, I’ll surely reciprocate. I desire to be married and I believe that God has promised me this for my life. At 31, however, it always seems that your friends (especially those who are married and with/without children) and church family want it for you more than you do and if there is any spark of interest between two people, they are trying to push you two together in hopes of you getting married and having more babies.
It may be more difficult for men than women (I’m not sure) but either way it seems dating in/out of the church is hard.
(I’m not sure but I hope this post didn’t make me sound like a crazy single woman. Lol.)
Loved this post. 🙂
I don’t understand the dating world these days…at least from my experience, the guys in my life are quick to propose yet slow to date. And since they didn’t have a diamond ring, I know they must not be serious! My guy buddies, they’ll have all these wonderful things to say about me and ask me to marry them or suggest perfect places to get married. BUT they won’t take the first step and ask me out on an official date or “us” official.
As for women needing to help men so they won’t be so scared of rejection, I guess I agree to a point but I mean if they want you and you want them (mutual interest, reciprocated love is key) then why not let them be the pursuer? It’s in their DNA! I don’t believe women should be the ones to chase the men, the man is supposed to woo the woman not the opposite way around. I would guess I’d tell the men reading this who are shy about asking their dream girl out: If you know she’s into you as much as you’re into her then GO FOR IT! She’s probably WAITING and PRAYING for you to make the first move! 🙂 Trust me, I know this from experience!
Thank you! God has recently asked me to be careful in being negative toward men due to a past hurt. Asking God to help me in this area and be a light to others.
Great Post! I have been married for almost 7 years and all the above thoughts were in my mind at some point. However, in order to capture the beautiful mother of my three children I had to move past every last one of them. I believe as men we have lost the warrior/hunter mentality and no longer want to chase. Eventhough every guy polled that he wants to be the hunter he has mentioned an excuse why he is not. When you’re hungry and there is no food in the house you go out and get it no matter what the conditions. Stating that you don’t want to feel judged by women or looked at awkwardly by church leadership are only cop outs. Yes, women are hard on men, yes people are judgmental, yes people will question. But you may miss out on the most beautiful woman of all time if you only look at who she is now. Now I am not saying that we shouldn’t have a standard or preferences but they should only be secondary to the still small voice. We have this idea that dating within the church will be perfect when it is not. But this should only reflect the beauty of Christ and his ability to mature us. I met my wife in the church and she was a pentecostal, judgmental, wounded powerhouse ( I have her permission in saying that) and she is older than I am. But today she is a healed, gentle, humble, mother and best friend. I had my questions then and so did our friends but our marriage is amazing today! The entire issue is not with the men/women, I believe much of it lies in our thoughts about dating and our assumptions of the opposite sex. We aren’t having meaningful conversations anymore and truly trying to get to know a person. We are simply examining them to see if they meet our qualifications for our ideal spouse. We have created a system based on perfection instead of grace and that’s why dating within the church is a disaster. I would say, ladies be a wife before you get married (Proverbs 18:22). Show him a wife, don’t just look to get married. If you’re mismanaging money, hanging out all the time, or have friends who have something to say about any and everything, you are not a wife. We pay attention to that. Men, if you’re always playing video games, live in a house full of men (post college), don’t have a job but talk about your calling, THEY SEE IT. This was a great article, ladies continue to be a strong woman in the biblical context, we need you.
Charles i LOVED what you had to say. SO much wisdom brotha!
Love ALL of your posts! I am an avid reader…and always enjoy your posts on dating. Why is dating so complicated and finding the right person near impossible?
look forward to your next post!
~ginny
Wow. how eye opening. Being a single, 27 year old who not only attends church every sunday, but i am also in full-time ministry myself. this is so eye opening to women in the church. i love this in fact. i am going to share it with all the girls at church i know. i have in the past come across so harsh to men, therefore i have developed an idea about men that are all “out to get” women and ruin our lives. then i share that with other girls, and other girls agree and then they tell their friends and so on. i realize today, that i am apart of the problem and not the solution.
Thank you. thank you. Thank you.
So, I find it really interesting that 2 minutes after I read your post, I read this post at Good Women Project: http://goodwomenproject.com/dating/so-i-waited-for-him-to-tell-me-he-liked-me-first
And they both got me thinking…
I definitely agree with the notion that dating within the church is hard. I’m in the trenches & it bites. You listed some very valid reasons & I completely sympathize with the men especially because of all the pressure that can fall on their shoulders.
However, I am really frustrated by this: “An interesting item to note is that though each man admitted to failing in pursuing women they were interested in, every one said they would want to do the pursuing. I’m not an archaic meat-head—joked John—but there is something thrilling about chasing a girl and having her reciprocate the feelings. If she’s too forward, it comes off as desperate. FYI ladies, we can all hear your biological clock.”
Sooo, the men aren’t pursuing (for whatever valid reason listed above) but if women decide to take charge (because you won’t) then we’re desperate??! How unfair is that? Lately I’ve been reading a lot about the male culture & how women are being forced to step into more masculine roles because men aren’t doing it. I think this applies to dating as well. I’ve had a lot of friends who have been the one to express interest first. This doesn’t mean they’ve spent the entirety of the relationship pursuing the man, but it has given the man a bit of confidence to say “Ok, she likes me, so if I pursue her there’s a lot less risk of rejection.”
Is that wrong? Is it wrong for a woman to say “I like you”? Absolutely not. Especially if the man isn’t going to be the one to say it first.
And for the record, I will completely admit to my ticking biological clock, but I WILL NOT apologize for it. God created that in me for a reason. So I think men need to stop being afraid of it!
I do think women are hard on men… but I think men are hard on women too. Some men expect at P31 woman or some men expect to find a woman who fit Sir Mix-a-lot’s physical criteria…
Expectations, criteria, and “lists” are dangerous & can seriously hinder someone from just letting go & having fun in the dating process. I know that a lot of women project & are already planning the wedding on the first date… and I find that silly. But I can’t blame women when we’re inundated with romanticism from birth. I also can’t blame men for being turned off by it.
Simply put I think that dating should be just that… dating. Not an interview for marriage, not a chance to see if someone fits your criteria. In my opinion (which I believe is Biblical) covenant (an agreement, contract) does not begin until engagement or even marriage. So let’s lighten up shall we? Let’s enjoy the dates without the pressure & just have fun while getting to know someone new. If it doesn’t work out, assuming you believe in God’s plan for your life, then you know that there’s someone more suitable for you coming.
Men, if a woman initiates contact, please just go with it. It does not make her desperate. It makes her confident & you should be flattered that she wants to get to know you better. If you feel led to pursue her, DO IT. The worst she could say is “No thank you.” in which case you dust yourself off & move on.
Women, stop planning your wedding on your first date. Delete your Pinterest wedding board. Try to enjoy the season of singleness and have fun! Don’t see it as looking for a husband, see it as meeting new brothers in Christ.
Ok, stepping off my soap box now 🙂 Hope that wasn’t too much rambling. Thanks as always for the engaging topic Bianca!
From a guys perspective,
Hey Bianca,
I’ve been following your blog since 09 and want to first encourage you by saying keep up the honesty that points to truth! (Thank you Jesus for her heart!)
And now for a little more honesty. I’m a 25 year old guy who has spent the last four years choosing to remain single as Christ has diligently been preparing me for marriage and ministry. I didn’t grow up in the church which sadly saved me from much of the Church culture that you have faithfully devoted to uncovering. I understand where your (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) are coming from and I have a problem that I too would like your wisdom on.
This problem is so difficult to talk about that even mentioning it adds to the problem. But for the sake of sincerity, here it goes. I am an outgoing guy. Easy to get along with and if you and I carry on a conversation for more than 5 minutes you’re going to hear all about Jesus (man I love that guy! lol). I don’t like Facebook, or texting so I rarely do it at all. I’d much rather talk to you face to face, or at least over the phone. If I want to write you I will literally write you a letter (old school I know right?). I’m also very confident. Not because I have any reason to be within myself, but because of what Christ did on the cross I have no reason NOT to be confident. I enjoy making things, and restoring things. I almost never watch TV, and struggle limiting myself on how many books I read at one time. I love encouraging people and hope to one day head up a ministry to minister to fathers and sons. Making disciples is my full time occupation, but on the side you can find me working on a farm in Indiana, running an online business, and preparing myself to go into the army for special forces. My life’s mission is Isaiah 61: 1-2 “The Spirit of the sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor”
To finish up, and what I consider the most superficial detail, I am an attractive guy. I have all my teeth as you’ve put it. Personally, I don’t see why any girl should find me more attractive over another, but nevertheless this creates a very difficult problem for me. Again, I hate the fact that I am even mentioning this as some may think I am boasting in myself or tooting my own horn. I guess my only confidence is that this post doesn’t have my picture with it.
With that said, I often get asked if I am a model (why does every decent looking person have to be a model?) To top this off (and please hear me out – I honestly hate this) I have girls leave me notes with their numbers on it and foolish sayings like “Hey cutie, call me 555-555-5555”. Recently I ran into such a awkward problem that I was tempted to leave the church. It started when I joined a “Young Professionals” sunday school class and within a week was immediately bombarded with facebook requests (this wasn’t bad, and can certainly make a newcomer feel welcomed) but was shortly followed by a call from a guy in the class who wanted to ask for my forgiveness. I asked him, “for what?” and he said that he had harbored bitterness and envy against me because I had friended his ex. He went on to tell me that if we ended up getting married he was ok with it. I thought, “this guys joking right?!!!” I literally just met everyone a week ago.
These problems have manifested themselves in a number of different ways. Two months in I get asked by the married leader of this singles group, “what’s up with you and all the girls?” I ask him to elaborate and he goes on to tell me that he is pulled aside by a female mentor asking Him, “Who is this Jim guy? I’ve got 30 girls thinking that their going to marry him!”
What am I to do? The only time I interact with girls is at church or at church functions. And unlike many guys who huddle in their guy groups I talk to any and everyone. And yes I am looking for someone that I, by the grace of God, can lay down my life for. I don’t flirt. I do listen, encourage, and share the gospel. Please understand me, I know that when I die I have to give an account to ever word that I speak. I also know that ever girl is a daughter to the King! And I fear that with humble respect! But again I ask, what am I to do?
If you tell me I need to be more careful about how I talk to girls, I’ll respond “Ok, I will agree, but please tell me what I am doing wrong?” I asked the leader the same question after he told me to be careful and he said, “I don’t know”.
I am certainly not the only guy who has struggled with this. When I was approached by one of the girls, she said, “Hey, sorry to be so blunt and I know you don’t know me, but what’s up with you and Lesley?” I asked her what she meant. She went on to tell me that she’s infatuated with me and wont stop talking about me. She said, “Listen, I don’t know who you are, but I’m just saying you should be careful how you talk to girls!” I told her to give me an example and she couldn’t. I said, “Listen, I am a sinner and I want with all my heart to honor God, so if I am in sin than please show me where so that I may find correction. But you just telling me to be careful while giving me no advice as to how is not helpful.” I went on by saying, “Also take this situation to its full outworking, if a guy comes into a group and is immediately inundated with drama from emotional romances that girls play in their heads, what is going to be the most plausible outcome?” She didn’t say anything. I told her, “Whats going to happen is that the guy, because he really wants to honor God, he’s going to end up leaving because after all he doesn’t want a sister in Christ to be stumbling! And so while you want more single guys to go to church and to step up to the plate you immediately attack him to the point where he feels ashamed and ends up leaving!” … I kid you not, a week later, this girl who confronted me to be more careful with girls asked me to marry her!!!
This would be hilarious if it weren’t so down right sad!
I want to pursue one of God’s daughters unto marriage and unto death! I want to lay down my life for Our King, my Wife, my kids, and my country. I want to encourage other men to do so. And in fact I do. But when a women forgets that she is the crown jewel of Creation, a Daughter of the Lion of Judah, and makes it easier to catch her than to order a cup of joe, she’s teaching the world something. She’s telling the world what she thinks of herself – and apparently not much. That’s why it is SO attractive when a girl is saturated in the Word! Because from that I know she knows her worth!
I often hear girls say, “where are all the good guys at?” and I want to scream! The truth is you don’t want a good guy. Because a good guy is in the line of fire. Constantly standing up for what is right and laying down his life for the sake of others. Good guys, follow Christ and He ain’t safe! Good guys get attacked. Good guys are NOT secure, except for their position in Christ. They fight boldly, love fiercely, care gently, lead confidently, and pray always. Good guys are His guys!
Jim, thanks for being honest.
I have a handful of thoughts-let me see if I can clearly articulate them.
1) From my experience, girls’ brains stop working around guys. If a girl has her mind made up about what she wants, and sees it she goes after it. It sounds like you have a cat fight in your midst. I am only guessing so, because it sounds as though you conduct yourself well, and stand upright in Christ. THIS is what is attractive. Don’t change.
I was reading in Job and 1 Kings today about how Job and Solomon held high regard for God in their lives. It says in the last chapter of Job that God blessed Job with even more. I believe this is true in our lives. Stand with God! He will honor that. Continue to be a model for what a godly man should be. God will honor your actions.
May God bless you in your time as a single man. May he use you now, and in the days to come. May He is molding and preparing you for the godly husband and father He has called you to be.
Peace to you!
Thank you Polly for your encouragement! It does me well to hear!
Wow. Thank you for being so honest. I’ve never heard a guy break it down like that and to be honest, that totally sucks that some guys go through that amount of pressure. I know a few of my guys friends have gone through the same thing, but I’ve never heard it explained in that way. Jim, you shine Jesus bright and are amazing of example of what it means to be a Christ follower! Continue to be steadfast and continue to seek His will. I am definitely praying for you in all aspects of your life! Thank you Thank you THANK YOU for this!
-Anneliese
I am taking up an old new hobby: basketball.
I played in high school and enjoyed it. I think that new interest groups can be a way to meet people.
Dating alone is complicated but I think Christian dating is even harder. In my church there is one eligible person. My church is really small. So is the town I live in, which makes dating harder.
I have a fabulous God-adoring young woman for Luke/John! 😉 Seriously.
Great post, BB!!
Great post and wonderful insight. Dating in the church is so awkward; it’s as if going on the first date you’re expected to know if you are going to marry this person.
A. It steals the joy of going out and getting to know a person, the whole person.
B. It makes the stakes so high and unrealistic it’s no wonder guys are timid of asking girls on dates.
C. I think as women we’ve put some crazy pressure on our guys within the realm of Christian Dating.
Can it not be as simple as Hey you’re cool let’s go on a date without having the pressure of knowing if this potential stranger is your spouse or what will our whole circle of friends say if this doesn’t work out?
This is a very enlightning post and I want to thank Mr. X, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John for their honesty. Seriously thank you!
I think as girls we really need to STOP thinking about Christian guys (and even ourselves) as perfect, because nobody is. I’m deeply sadened at the fact that Hollywood has painted this image of the ‘perfect guy’ + ‘perfect girl’ story that we ended believing that that’s the way it is, when in reality we are all broken, have different pasts, have been brought up differently and that is what makes a relationship balanced.
As girls we need to show grace to men in our church as God has shown grace to us. We girls need to understand that going out for coffee doesn’t necessarily means a date! We need to stop thinking beyond the situation, the moment or the conversation. Let’s try to stop idealizing and day dreaming about every guy we meet. I am the first one to claim guilty for all of these, but I’m working on it 🙂
Wow. I think I need to meet Mr. X. I have always dreamed of meeting my future husband at either the grocery store or a coffee shop!! I’d have a higher chance of meeting him there then at my church. 😉
Thank you so much for this article! Perfect timing for me to read this because there is many great single guys and gals at my church and it has never made sense to me why so many men take their time stepping up and pursuing the girl, especially if they like her…and they hear that biological clock of hers ticking. 😉 This was pretty eye-opening and helpful for me.
I can definitely see the pressure a young man faces when it comes to dating a girl from church. “Casual” dating doesn’t really exist (at least in my church) and when a relationship doesn’t work out (which has been happening quite often) it leaves one (or both) of them in a pretty awkward position.
I guess my question would then be “what do girls do”? How do we help the guys step up to the plate without seeming “desperate” or pushy? Or do we just wait and pray… until God gives them the push they need?
I’ve always thought that if he is a godly man at church who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit and he notices a girl he could potentially see a future with… wouldn’t the Holy Spirit give him the “nudge” he needed in the right direction to pursue her? In that case us girls have to do nothing but wait and pray for the right man to get that “push” he needs to pursue us and we don’t have to worry about that biological clock of ours.
And Jim… wow. Loved your post! So honest and straightforward. I definitely see some guys in my church that are in the same exact shoes as you are in. I can’t say I feel sorry for you that you “struggle” with getting so much attention from girls 😉 but you seem to be very careful with guarding a girl’s heart and not “leading her on” as many guys like to do (some unknowingly, I’m sure) and that’s so great to hear from a guy. Sometimes it seems like some men are all about their ego’s and getting as much attention from girls as they possibly can without worrying about the broken hearts they leave behind in the process. It’s refreshing to hear that they aren’t all like that. Blessings to you and your search for “the one”. It might leave a few girls who’ve already planned their perfect wedding with you by their side a little disappointed but that’s part of life. 😉
Thank you for this post Bianca! I absolutely loved it!!
I compare dating in church like dating at work. You are choosing or being chosen from a small/sometimes large pool from which you see each other frequently. With that you get to see their good and bad more openly than you would just randomly meeting somewhere else. You see who is timid, outgoing, etc… You see who is devote, who has truly given themselves to God, who is spiritually strong, etc…
Now should we as men be more aggressive maybe, but if we do be aggressive for the right reason and follow through with his plan. God will not put more in front of you than you can bear. Ask and you shall receive. But we have to catch what he throws our way. And some men just fumble or watch it go right past us.
I do agree with Charles that we need to man up when it comes to the pursuit of a righteous woman. Most men do not have a problem pursuing the ungodly not fit for us women. But God teaches us lessons when we do. Just like women say where all the good men at I hear men say the same where all the good women at. We both waste time pursuing the not so good. Succumbing to temptation. I don’t have a problem talking to her, saying hi, etc… My timidness comes in when she is really interested. In the past I ran away or broke hearts to avoid taking it further. I’ve been asked out on the past and the answers were I don’t know or I’ll think about or just nothing at all. So by not doing so maybe I do/ have missed out on a great woman. I’ve prayed for the strength to overcome that.
I’m not in the same shoes as John but I’ve had the luck of being pursued or hooked up most of my life and have stayed in the spot as the hunted. I hate to lose so that adds to me not being the hunter or initiating the date and give my heart to that woman because of the fear of rejection or failing in the pursuit of her heart. But I’ve learn if I can give my heart to Jesus I can do the same with a woman that I like and knows she has the same feeling. But maybe that is Gods plan. He will open my mouth when he sees fit and knows that I am ready to accept his gift.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
But as we get older there is that biological clock talk esp if no kids have been had. That adds to the pressure for some men if they fear kids. I love kids and definitely can’t wait as I see the greatest gift God gave us was to be able to reproduce. Not to mention also the pressure you receive from parents that want to be grandparents.
Thanks Bianca always good to have a forum to talk about issues. Some well most men don’t talk about this, well only with our boys but unless they on accord with the Lord a lot of time it is bad advice. I talk and pray with my family, aunt about this but she always trying to hook it up. But it stills lies with me to take it further
I just wanted to say that I loved Jim’s input and would like to see someone attempt to address his comments/questions. I’ve been with my husband for almost a decade, so I don’t really feel qualified to speak about the state of dating in the church in 2013.
Preciate the support Robyn! I’m still hanging on the edge of my seat!!! haha
Thank you for such thoughtful, real posts for us singles out there. Definitely hearing things from the male perspective as myself and my single girl friends are often perplexed. It’s a great challenge for us women to not be so harsh but be a help in the process. And I have to ask, is Dre is interested in moving to Michigan?? ::wink wink:: 🙂